I lied, I’m not a teacher
Remember that impressive list of qualifications? It was in that blog I posted yesterday. I got some fun news about that and couldn't bring myself to correct the mistake until today.
I had heard about a job possibility and got all excited about it. With the tests that I've currently taken, I totally am qualified for all of the things I claim to be. The problem is (and this is a recuring pattern in my college career) I got a minor detail wrong; literally in this case.
One of my minors is "Theater and Communication Arts." They didn't have a "Theater and Communication Arts" MTTC test, so I just took the Communication Arts test and totally passed. I told Eve afterwards that there were an inordinate number of questions about journalism on the test, but assumed that (just like the history test) you can get a major or minor in an area and still not learn all the nitty gritty details from every class. Can you see where this is going?
I called EMU to get my "90 Day Letter" yesterday. This is a piece of paper that is just as good as a teaching certificate in interviews, because it shows that you have done the work to a university's satisfaction and you're just waiting for the state bureaucracy to catch up with its paperwork. I was told some bad news.
It turns out that my Communication Arts (AX) test does not match my Communication Arts minor. I need to take the Speech test (BD). So, I'm not done taking tests. In addition, because I don't have a minor to correspond with the test I've passed - that certification (which is what would supposedly satisfy the government that I'm qualified to teach a course) is worthless. So, standardized tests, which we all knew were worthless, are just a waste of money without the piece of paper attached to them. Sorry, I digress.
I need to take the Speech test.
I also learned that they didn't process my results before my CPR certification expired, so EMU is holding onto its approval until I pass the review. Good news is, there's a class in two weeks. Bad news? I'm just tired of all this bullshit. When I asked the lady at EMU which test I was supposed to take and how I was supposed to know the difference, she told me it was in the catalog. Which catalog? The EMU course catalog.
You mean, the course catalog that I don't have because I'm not a student? Why would I even think to look there for this information?
I'm not an idiot. But I tend to miss key information like this when it's handed to me on brightly colored pieces of paper or sandwiched in between talking about portfolios or why a bulletin board is important in the classroom. Either no one told me all this stuff because I grandfathered out of the classes or I just didn't hear it because it wasn't highlighted for me.
It makes me wonder what else I've missed.
So - I take the CPR test on the 19th and on Sept 20th I'm marching over to EMU to get this sorted out. The next MTTC testing date is in October and the 'standard' registration period ends this Friday. I'll be signing up for that. As for the rest? I'm not going to be teaching this fall anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter. Yesterday was just a really frustrating day. I nearly decked a hipster who was panhandling outside of Kinko's. I mean, seriously? In your designer stressed jeans and vintage t-shirt you have the balls to ask ME to give you some of MY money? Don't give me a sarcastic "Have a nice day" you little jackhole. How about you get back to the classes that mommy and daddy are paying for!
Ok, I'm over it. It was yesterday. I'm going to take a deep breath and get back to my cush job. Be cool everybody.
I had heard about a job possibility and got all excited about it. With the tests that I've currently taken, I totally am qualified for all of the things I claim to be. The problem is (and this is a recuring pattern in my college career) I got a minor detail wrong; literally in this case.
One of my minors is "Theater and Communication Arts." They didn't have a "Theater and Communication Arts" MTTC test, so I just took the Communication Arts test and totally passed. I told Eve afterwards that there were an inordinate number of questions about journalism on the test, but assumed that (just like the history test) you can get a major or minor in an area and still not learn all the nitty gritty details from every class. Can you see where this is going?
I called EMU to get my "90 Day Letter" yesterday. This is a piece of paper that is just as good as a teaching certificate in interviews, because it shows that you have done the work to a university's satisfaction and you're just waiting for the state bureaucracy to catch up with its paperwork. I was told some bad news.
It turns out that my Communication Arts (AX) test does not match my Communication Arts minor. I need to take the Speech test (BD). So, I'm not done taking tests. In addition, because I don't have a minor to correspond with the test I've passed - that certification (which is what would supposedly satisfy the government that I'm qualified to teach a course) is worthless. So, standardized tests, which we all knew were worthless, are just a waste of money without the piece of paper attached to them. Sorry, I digress.
I need to take the Speech test.
I also learned that they didn't process my results before my CPR certification expired, so EMU is holding onto its approval until I pass the review. Good news is, there's a class in two weeks. Bad news? I'm just tired of all this bullshit. When I asked the lady at EMU which test I was supposed to take and how I was supposed to know the difference, she told me it was in the catalog. Which catalog? The EMU course catalog.
You mean, the course catalog that I don't have because I'm not a student? Why would I even think to look there for this information?
I'm not an idiot. But I tend to miss key information like this when it's handed to me on brightly colored pieces of paper or sandwiched in between talking about portfolios or why a bulletin board is important in the classroom. Either no one told me all this stuff because I grandfathered out of the classes or I just didn't hear it because it wasn't highlighted for me.
It makes me wonder what else I've missed.
So - I take the CPR test on the 19th and on Sept 20th I'm marching over to EMU to get this sorted out. The next MTTC testing date is in October and the 'standard' registration period ends this Friday. I'll be signing up for that. As for the rest? I'm not going to be teaching this fall anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter. Yesterday was just a really frustrating day. I nearly decked a hipster who was panhandling outside of Kinko's. I mean, seriously? In your designer stressed jeans and vintage t-shirt you have the balls to ask ME to give you some of MY money? Don't give me a sarcastic "Have a nice day" you little jackhole. How about you get back to the classes that mommy and daddy are paying for!
Ok, I'm over it. It was yesterday. I'm going to take a deep breath and get back to my cush job. Be cool everybody.