Victims.
This might get long.
Back in my old social circle (and this is why I think having friends is overrated), D and I used to associate with a number of couples. I'm not going to use real names. I know all the people I'm about to write about, I just never hung around with them much.
The first couple is Darren and Debbie. They were married for almost 25 years, and ended up splitting up, the details of which will be outlined below.
The second couple is Mike and Tammy who were really good friends with Darren and Debbie. I never really liked Mike much, because he's a foul-mouthed redneck asshole. I really didn't know Tammy that well. Both are heavy drinkers.
Larry and Bonnie are the third couple. Again, heavy drinkers, total party animals, and good friends with Darren and Deb. I thought they were okay, but again, didn't hang out with them much.
Deb has never been much of a party animal. She's a very quiet woman who rarely drinks. She doesn't really like the party scene, because even though all these couples are in their 30s and 40s, they act like fucking feral children when they drink. They get loaded and drive quads through other peoples' yards, they throw aerosol cans in fire pits to watch them explode, they get into fistfights. They're just idiots. And, since she doesn't drink, she ends up having to babysit them, drive them around, and clean up puke if someone ends up overdoing it. After about of year of it, she'd had enough.
Darren, on the other hand, loves hanging out with them. He's a party animal, and is also a heavy drinker. He thinks the sun rises and sets on Mark, Tammy, Larry and Bonnie. He never used to be that way; before Mike, Tammy, Larry and Bonnie came around, he liked to drink, but he wasn't stupid about it. Once he started hanging out with them, he started acting like an asshole.
What it all boiled down to is that Darren wanted to party all the time, and Deb was getting sick of it. She'd stay home while they partied and drank.
Since Darren was partying on his own, he started making up shit about Deb, and telling people bullshit stories about her - she no longer loved him, she spent all her time taking care of the kids and ignoring him, she was 'too good' to hang out with his friends, and so on. He turned himself into a victim, and started looking for pity.
Now, those who had known Darren and Deb for years knew that Darren was spouting a crock of shit. They knew Deb had had enough of his crap. They knew she was worried about his drinking, and they were saying it was all getting out of hand. They also knew that he was lying, and that he wasn't a victim at all.
Mike, Tammy, Larry and Bonnie did believe him, and felt sorry for him. That was when they decided to 'help' him by setting him up with other women. This went on for almost a year before Deb found out.
Apparently, Tammy confided to another mutual friend (Sandra) that she'd given Darren her friend's number, and tried to introduce him.
To give Deb credit, she never suspected anything because Darren worked in the oil patch, and it was his job to get calls at all hours. The reception in their house was shit, so if he had to talk on his company cellphone, there were times he'd had to go outside to get a clear signal (not an excuse, I've been there and had to walk out into the driveway to get one signal bar - a number of houses in the area had the same problem, due to trees, hills, and tower locations). Leaving the room to take a call was common. He was receiving all the emails on his company account, not his personal one. And, it was his job to pay company expenses and get reimbursed for them, including hotel rooms for employees who were temporarily in town, lunches with clients, and so on.
Sandra was much closer to Deb than she'd ever been to Tammy, and she had zero tolerance for those who were fucking around. She told Deb what Tammy had told her.
Deb did some research (when he left his company laptop at home for a few hours while he went golfing), and found out the following:
The names of all the women Mike and Tammy had given Darren (through emails).
Details about when Darren met up with these women.
Accounts on adult sites where Darren was hooking up with more women (it was Mike who'd emailed him the URLs for the sites, suggesting he sign up and 'find some pussy').
Credit card receipts showing charges for hotel rooms that were booked on the same dates that were listed in the emails (where he'd told her he was booking rooms for drivers, safety officers, mud men, etc).
More emails going between Darren, Mark, Tammy, Larry and Bonnie about his 'adventures' in the sack, and gory details about what, exactly, was going on in bed. They were all egging him on, wishing him luck, giving him suggestions. Apparently, Tammy was the worst. She has no idea just how many women he was screwing around with, but she has documented proof that there were at least 14.
So, Darren was obviously guilty. Deb was absolutely devastated.
She confronted Mike and Tammy about it, and they denied everything. Larry and Bonnie also denied it. Darren admitted it was all true.
Deb not only had to deal with the fact that Darren was a lying, cheating fuck, she also had to deal with the fact that four people she knew, trusted, and considered friends were lying to her face on a regular basis. It wasn't just that they knew about it and were hiding it from her, they were actively helping Darren fuck around on her.
When Tammy found out that Darren had admitted everything (and she couldn't deny it any longer), she tried to turn it all around by blaming Deb, telling Deb that if she were 'any sort of a decent wife', this wouldn't have happened.
Tammy is lucky Deb didn't kill her. (If it were me who'd been in Deb's shoes, and Tammy said that to my face, I'd be in fucking jail on a murder charge.)
Deb walked out on Darren and filed for divorce. Her lawyer has a huge stack of paper with all his emails, adult site ads, credit card statements, etc. Not sure what's going to transpire from here, because it's all still in the works, last I heard.
But, the problem Deb has now, is that she hears people talk about Mike and Tammy, and Larry and Bonnie, and they say shit like, "Oh, they're just such wonderful people! They're so kind, and helpful, and they'll give you the shirts off their backs! Salt of the earth, they are!"
This makes Deb rage. It makes me rage, too, because anyone who is going to help someone screw around on their spouse is a fucking asshole. Plain and simple. There is no excuse for their actions. I don't give a shit if they donate to the needy, volunteer to work with sick babies or find the cure for rare diseases. They're fucking assholes.
Deb has told a few of people about what had happened, and why she's not overly fond of them. Some 'just couldn't believe it'. Others think she's got a case of 'sour grapes' and is just trying to stir up shit. Deb has offered to show them emails, but they don't want to see them. They're still sticking up for Mike and Tammy (and to a lesser degree, Larry and Bonnie).
Mark and Tammy are still going around, telling people about 'poor Darren', and how tough his life is/was, etc.
I feel sorry for Deb, because she did nothing wrong. But, she still has to live and work around people who are singing praises about Mark, Tammy, Larry and Bonnie, and it just nauseates her.
It nauseates me, too.
My question is, what should Deb do/say when people are going on and on about how fucking wonderful these people are? She can't just suck it up, nod and smile. She said she's simply not capable of doing that. Personally, I'd be saying some obscene things about them, but I don't live there anymore, and I don't have to deal with any of it. Even Deb's boss knows them, and he thinks 'they're not all that bad'.
Small towns are so fucked, sometimes.
Back in my old social circle (and this is why I think having friends is overrated), D and I used to associate with a number of couples. I'm not going to use real names. I know all the people I'm about to write about, I just never hung around with them much.
The first couple is Darren and Debbie. They were married for almost 25 years, and ended up splitting up, the details of which will be outlined below.
The second couple is Mike and Tammy who were really good friends with Darren and Debbie. I never really liked Mike much, because he's a foul-mouthed redneck asshole. I really didn't know Tammy that well. Both are heavy drinkers.
Larry and Bonnie are the third couple. Again, heavy drinkers, total party animals, and good friends with Darren and Deb. I thought they were okay, but again, didn't hang out with them much.
Deb has never been much of a party animal. She's a very quiet woman who rarely drinks. She doesn't really like the party scene, because even though all these couples are in their 30s and 40s, they act like fucking feral children when they drink. They get loaded and drive quads through other peoples' yards, they throw aerosol cans in fire pits to watch them explode, they get into fistfights. They're just idiots. And, since she doesn't drink, she ends up having to babysit them, drive them around, and clean up puke if someone ends up overdoing it. After about of year of it, she'd had enough.
Darren, on the other hand, loves hanging out with them. He's a party animal, and is also a heavy drinker. He thinks the sun rises and sets on Mark, Tammy, Larry and Bonnie. He never used to be that way; before Mike, Tammy, Larry and Bonnie came around, he liked to drink, but he wasn't stupid about it. Once he started hanging out with them, he started acting like an asshole.
What it all boiled down to is that Darren wanted to party all the time, and Deb was getting sick of it. She'd stay home while they partied and drank.
Since Darren was partying on his own, he started making up shit about Deb, and telling people bullshit stories about her - she no longer loved him, she spent all her time taking care of the kids and ignoring him, she was 'too good' to hang out with his friends, and so on. He turned himself into a victim, and started looking for pity.
Now, those who had known Darren and Deb for years knew that Darren was spouting a crock of shit. They knew Deb had had enough of his crap. They knew she was worried about his drinking, and they were saying it was all getting out of hand. They also knew that he was lying, and that he wasn't a victim at all.
Mike, Tammy, Larry and Bonnie did believe him, and felt sorry for him. That was when they decided to 'help' him by setting him up with other women. This went on for almost a year before Deb found out.
Apparently, Tammy confided to another mutual friend (Sandra) that she'd given Darren her friend's number, and tried to introduce him.
To give Deb credit, she never suspected anything because Darren worked in the oil patch, and it was his job to get calls at all hours. The reception in their house was shit, so if he had to talk on his company cellphone, there were times he'd had to go outside to get a clear signal (not an excuse, I've been there and had to walk out into the driveway to get one signal bar - a number of houses in the area had the same problem, due to trees, hills, and tower locations). Leaving the room to take a call was common. He was receiving all the emails on his company account, not his personal one. And, it was his job to pay company expenses and get reimbursed for them, including hotel rooms for employees who were temporarily in town, lunches with clients, and so on.
Sandra was much closer to Deb than she'd ever been to Tammy, and she had zero tolerance for those who were fucking around. She told Deb what Tammy had told her.
Deb did some research (when he left his company laptop at home for a few hours while he went golfing), and found out the following:
The names of all the women Mike and Tammy had given Darren (through emails).
Details about when Darren met up with these women.
Accounts on adult sites where Darren was hooking up with more women (it was Mike who'd emailed him the URLs for the sites, suggesting he sign up and 'find some pussy').
Credit card receipts showing charges for hotel rooms that were booked on the same dates that were listed in the emails (where he'd told her he was booking rooms for drivers, safety officers, mud men, etc).
More emails going between Darren, Mark, Tammy, Larry and Bonnie about his 'adventures' in the sack, and gory details about what, exactly, was going on in bed. They were all egging him on, wishing him luck, giving him suggestions. Apparently, Tammy was the worst. She has no idea just how many women he was screwing around with, but she has documented proof that there were at least 14.
So, Darren was obviously guilty. Deb was absolutely devastated.
She confronted Mike and Tammy about it, and they denied everything. Larry and Bonnie also denied it. Darren admitted it was all true.
Deb not only had to deal with the fact that Darren was a lying, cheating fuck, she also had to deal with the fact that four people she knew, trusted, and considered friends were lying to her face on a regular basis. It wasn't just that they knew about it and were hiding it from her, they were actively helping Darren fuck around on her.
When Tammy found out that Darren had admitted everything (and she couldn't deny it any longer), she tried to turn it all around by blaming Deb, telling Deb that if she were 'any sort of a decent wife', this wouldn't have happened.
Tammy is lucky Deb didn't kill her. (If it were me who'd been in Deb's shoes, and Tammy said that to my face, I'd be in fucking jail on a murder charge.)
Deb walked out on Darren and filed for divorce. Her lawyer has a huge stack of paper with all his emails, adult site ads, credit card statements, etc. Not sure what's going to transpire from here, because it's all still in the works, last I heard.
But, the problem Deb has now, is that she hears people talk about Mike and Tammy, and Larry and Bonnie, and they say shit like, "Oh, they're just such wonderful people! They're so kind, and helpful, and they'll give you the shirts off their backs! Salt of the earth, they are!"
This makes Deb rage. It makes me rage, too, because anyone who is going to help someone screw around on their spouse is a fucking asshole. Plain and simple. There is no excuse for their actions. I don't give a shit if they donate to the needy, volunteer to work with sick babies or find the cure for rare diseases. They're fucking assholes.
Deb has told a few of people about what had happened, and why she's not overly fond of them. Some 'just couldn't believe it'. Others think she's got a case of 'sour grapes' and is just trying to stir up shit. Deb has offered to show them emails, but they don't want to see them. They're still sticking up for Mike and Tammy (and to a lesser degree, Larry and Bonnie).
Mark and Tammy are still going around, telling people about 'poor Darren', and how tough his life is/was, etc.
I feel sorry for Deb, because she did nothing wrong. But, she still has to live and work around people who are singing praises about Mark, Tammy, Larry and Bonnie, and it just nauseates her.
It nauseates me, too.
My question is, what should Deb do/say when people are going on and on about how fucking wonderful these people are? She can't just suck it up, nod and smile. She said she's simply not capable of doing that. Personally, I'd be saying some obscene things about them, but I don't live there anymore, and I don't have to deal with any of it. Even Deb's boss knows them, and he thinks 'they're not all that bad'.
Small towns are so fucked, sometimes.