Shredding My Heart
Thank Gods it's Friday. That's all I have to say. Today was one of those days where I just wanted to laze around and do absolutely. Positively. Nothing. I got up for Philosophy, went and turned in my paper, and came back to sleep for another few hours. It was nice to sleep today, even though I blew off my Math homework. But I'm not too worried about it. I can do it in my sleep. It's really easy. I had a sectional today too. It put in a pretty good mood. My Symphonic Band Professor is so awesome, he knows how to cheer ya up when you're down. And he does it unintentionally. Astronomy was... alright. I could've done without the Two-Bodied System Gravity Math though.
I've actually been pretty down all day though. Freg'n love absolutely sucks. Heh... Especially if it's to a friend. Yeah, one of those. I'm in love with my friend, and it's absolutely slaughtering my heart. My friend's gay and we have so much in common. He's really cute and cool and funny and sweet.... Argh. *Presses fastfoward.* ANYWAYS... He found a boyfriend. I'm happy for him, I really am, but I wish I was that boyfriend.... I mean, they're really cute together and happy and seem to be just right for each other. I'm jealous yeah, but more sad than anything. When I tell him those things.... That I'm happy for him, they're cute together, it's cool he found a boyfriend, I can feel my heart shredding into absolute pieces. I mean, he's told me he doesn't like me that way, but I had hoped ideally that after some time together and knowing each other that we'd maybe get together. But it doesn't seem like that's going to happen.
Gods, I'm freaking shaking. And my heart is lterally shredding (I doubt it is but... it feels like that). My eyes are watering, my mouth is wet (Probably cuz I finished a soda), and my stomach feels like a torrential blackhole, threatening to engulf my soul. But I still want him to be happy, even if he doesn't like me back. That's the best thing I think I could do for him is to be on his side rather then meddle and try to break them up. That's really low....
I'm so glad it's the weekend. And least I have all weekend to think about everything on my mind. Play some Kingdom Hearts. Have lunch with a friend. And maybe actually cheer up....
I've actually been pretty down all day though. Freg'n love absolutely sucks. Heh... Especially if it's to a friend. Yeah, one of those. I'm in love with my friend, and it's absolutely slaughtering my heart. My friend's gay and we have so much in common. He's really cute and cool and funny and sweet.... Argh. *Presses fastfoward.* ANYWAYS... He found a boyfriend. I'm happy for him, I really am, but I wish I was that boyfriend.... I mean, they're really cute together and happy and seem to be just right for each other. I'm jealous yeah, but more sad than anything. When I tell him those things.... That I'm happy for him, they're cute together, it's cool he found a boyfriend, I can feel my heart shredding into absolute pieces. I mean, he's told me he doesn't like me that way, but I had hoped ideally that after some time together and knowing each other that we'd maybe get together. But it doesn't seem like that's going to happen.
Gods, I'm freaking shaking. And my heart is lterally shredding (I doubt it is but... it feels like that). My eyes are watering, my mouth is wet (Probably cuz I finished a soda), and my stomach feels like a torrential blackhole, threatening to engulf my soul. But I still want him to be happy, even if he doesn't like me back. That's the best thing I think I could do for him is to be on his side rather then meddle and try to break them up. That's really low....
I'm so glad it's the weekend. And least I have all weekend to think about everything on my mind. Play some Kingdom Hearts. Have lunch with a friend. And maybe actually cheer up....