(no subject)
No doubt affected by the fact that I spent last week simultaneously (well, perhaps alternately would be a better word) reading Cell by Stephen King and Life Expectancy by Dean Koontz, I had a dream last night in which I was being chased by clown zombies. This is rather weird, actually, because... well, okay, no qualification needed. It's just rather weird. But it's even weirder because unlike quite a few of my friends, I am not particularly afraid of clowns. So to me clown zombies were really just zombies with big shoes. And that doesn't make them all that much scarier. Unless they came up in a little zombie clown car, in which case I might run out of ammo.[1]
Anyway, lack of clown phobia notwithstanding, it was not a particularly fun dream. It was, needless to say, memorable. And I have to admit that in my dream, clown zombies were killed in the more or less normal zombie way, by shooting them in the head.
But once I woke up, I couldn't help but think that if there were such a thing as clown zombies, it would be much funnier if they could only be killed by squirting them in the mouth with a garden house while their bow tie rotated around and their hat inflated until it burst. Less effective, sure, but much funnier.
[1] Complete aside (unless it stuck in my brain more firmly than I was aware, and influenced the dream): Last week I was heading out to lunch with a gang from the office and a SUV came flying up in the lane beside me doing about 30 mph over the speed limit, and then immediately merged in front of us with about 4 feet to spare. As the car went by, we were all rather surprised to see that the passenger seat held a clown. Without thinking, I said "Man, it's a good thing my boss was with me, otherwise I would have just flipped off a clown!" And Kevin (my boss) warned that I should never, ever flip off a clown on the highway. After I suggested that there were three of us and we could probably take him, he said "Well, yeah, we could take him. But what about the 8 guys that jump out of the trunk?"
Anyway, lack of clown phobia notwithstanding, it was not a particularly fun dream. It was, needless to say, memorable. And I have to admit that in my dream, clown zombies were killed in the more or less normal zombie way, by shooting them in the head.
But once I woke up, I couldn't help but think that if there were such a thing as clown zombies, it would be much funnier if they could only be killed by squirting them in the mouth with a garden house while their bow tie rotated around and their hat inflated until it burst. Less effective, sure, but much funnier.
[1] Complete aside (unless it stuck in my brain more firmly than I was aware, and influenced the dream): Last week I was heading out to lunch with a gang from the office and a SUV came flying up in the lane beside me doing about 30 mph over the speed limit, and then immediately merged in front of us with about 4 feet to spare. As the car went by, we were all rather surprised to see that the passenger seat held a clown. Without thinking, I said "Man, it's a good thing my boss was with me, otherwise I would have just flipped off a clown!" And Kevin (my boss) warned that I should never, ever flip off a clown on the highway. After I suggested that there were three of us and we could probably take him, he said "Well, yeah, we could take him. But what about the 8 guys that jump out of the trunk?"