Who?
Who are you?
I'm sure you have an answer as this is not the first time you've heard this question. You would probably state your name. If you're a student, you'd state your course, year level and school. If you're working, you'd state your job and for what company you work for. Or perhaps you'd define yourself in relation to someone else. I'm his daughter. Her friend. His girlfriend. Your cousin. Your classmate from pre-school. As a member of this organization. Or maybe you'd define yourself in relation to another object. I own this company. I live here. Or you could possibly define yourself by your achievements. I won this. Held this position. Did this thing on TV everyone saw me do.
But think about it again. Who are YOU?
And then you'd have even more answers. List your hobbies, your talents, what you're good at and what you're not good at. But does any of it actually define who you are?
And then there's the even more confusing question of: Who do you want to be?
I used to know. I always thought life was a straight road. I was taught, early on, to have a one track mind. That success in life was always measured by the awards other people have decided I deserved, of high grades, of finishing high school, going to college and being rich and successful. I'm sure this isn't anything new. As a child, you were rarely asked questions, too young to even know what other options are out there other than what your parents give you. And, more often than not, your dreams were constrained to adhere to other people's measure of success. If you wished to be a poet, they'd tell you you wouldn't earn a living. If you wished to be a scientist, they'd tell you that science here in the country lacks funding and is not at par worldwide. If you wish to be a farmer, they'd tell you you're aiming too low. And you would never question them because they know what success is.
Life, however, doesn't always turn out as I expected. Eventually I had the bravery to question the status quo. And I thought I had it all figured out. But then you'd realize that there are so many aspects of life that you've never even considered, so many sides of you that you haven't even gotten to know, and now that you're finally old enough to choose who you want to be, they'd tell you you're too old to do so. That it's too late. That you should have done this in college when you were meant to choose your course.
So you form insecurities. You think of yourself a failure, lost and directionless. You feel a certain sense of despair and you sink further and further into a hole that fosters nothing but fear. So much so that when you ask: 'Who am I'? You've stopped having an answer.
But there's also a moment of clarity because being nothing also means that you could be anything you want to be. Because then you can explore the possibilities and be as crazy as you want to be. And that's life. It's about experiencing a host of different things. Of not being afraid to take a risk. Of breaking your comfort zone, your routine and living a life that would scandalize and baffle everyone else but would only make sense to you. Because what is success anyway? What should you be working hard for? Is it not to live a good life for the glory of God? So it should never be for money or power but rather, for fulfillment and praise.
So I would rather not ask myself or anyone else who they are. Rather, shouldn't we all just ask ourselves on which other versions of ourselves do we want to be?
I'm sure you have an answer as this is not the first time you've heard this question. You would probably state your name. If you're a student, you'd state your course, year level and school. If you're working, you'd state your job and for what company you work for. Or perhaps you'd define yourself in relation to someone else. I'm his daughter. Her friend. His girlfriend. Your cousin. Your classmate from pre-school. As a member of this organization. Or maybe you'd define yourself in relation to another object. I own this company. I live here. Or you could possibly define yourself by your achievements. I won this. Held this position. Did this thing on TV everyone saw me do.
But think about it again. Who are YOU?
And then you'd have even more answers. List your hobbies, your talents, what you're good at and what you're not good at. But does any of it actually define who you are?
And then there's the even more confusing question of: Who do you want to be?
I used to know. I always thought life was a straight road. I was taught, early on, to have a one track mind. That success in life was always measured by the awards other people have decided I deserved, of high grades, of finishing high school, going to college and being rich and successful. I'm sure this isn't anything new. As a child, you were rarely asked questions, too young to even know what other options are out there other than what your parents give you. And, more often than not, your dreams were constrained to adhere to other people's measure of success. If you wished to be a poet, they'd tell you you wouldn't earn a living. If you wished to be a scientist, they'd tell you that science here in the country lacks funding and is not at par worldwide. If you wish to be a farmer, they'd tell you you're aiming too low. And you would never question them because they know what success is.
Life, however, doesn't always turn out as I expected. Eventually I had the bravery to question the status quo. And I thought I had it all figured out. But then you'd realize that there are so many aspects of life that you've never even considered, so many sides of you that you haven't even gotten to know, and now that you're finally old enough to choose who you want to be, they'd tell you you're too old to do so. That it's too late. That you should have done this in college when you were meant to choose your course.
So you form insecurities. You think of yourself a failure, lost and directionless. You feel a certain sense of despair and you sink further and further into a hole that fosters nothing but fear. So much so that when you ask: 'Who am I'? You've stopped having an answer.
But there's also a moment of clarity because being nothing also means that you could be anything you want to be. Because then you can explore the possibilities and be as crazy as you want to be. And that's life. It's about experiencing a host of different things. Of not being afraid to take a risk. Of breaking your comfort zone, your routine and living a life that would scandalize and baffle everyone else but would only make sense to you. Because what is success anyway? What should you be working hard for? Is it not to live a good life for the glory of God? So it should never be for money or power but rather, for fulfillment and praise.
So I would rather not ask myself or anyone else who they are. Rather, shouldn't we all just ask ourselves on which other versions of ourselves do we want to be?