(no subject)
I hope the river does flood tonight and a giant fish washes up on land. Various valley fumes cause the fish to evolve instantly thus enabling it not only to breathe oxygen, but also grow arms, legs, and a penis, get even bigger, and roam the mean streets of the valley eating people. His name is Leroy and he is one insanely badass fish. He mugs old ladies... pushing them down so they break their hips... again... sits on their faces... pokes them with sticks... then just points and laughs for awhile... proceeds to spit on them and runs away. Throughout his journeys, Leroy meets two anorexic crack whores named Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen. He most definitely wants to stick his fins in places they don't belong and butter up their bread. So after checking to make sure they are, infact, of age, he decides to pick them both up. Buys them a couple drinks and two or three smooth lines later he's in. He scores with the Olsen twins. Nine months pass and they give birth to several crack whore/homicidal fish hybrids. Evolution is a process so of course the new fish are even more evolved then the original. They have opposable thumbs and use them to perform a variety of tasks such as driving cars through McDonald's on Sundays to get the 29 cent cheeseburger special. What a bargain. The end.