What to do?
This morning my grandma called me and we had a nice conversation. That was until she started to break down crying and hung up on me.
My mom moved to Italy, finally left today and just arrived in London. My grandma feels really alone. It hurts me so much, that because I do not fit into thier religious mold I have alienated myself from them, though I am quite sure its the other way around.
I keep being told that my decisions affect other people. I understand this, but even my personal decision to worship, or rather not worship a certain god?
Alright, joining the army was a bad idea. I know, I know, but what can I do about that now? I have one more year (hopefully) and I'm done. I don't know what to do. A large part of me just wants to pack up and move to Maryland and be with my family and pat them on the back and say, "its ok. I'm back, everything will be okay."
Can I? Yeah, sure I can find a way to get out there, and find a job and have a life there, but will I really be happy? I know for certain I will not be happy as a Jehovah's Witness. I never was. I can't be. And even if I could, I couldn't rejoin a religon just because my family wants me to. It would have to be something I wanted. I just don't know what to do. I almost want to pack up my clothes and my bike and go make things right. But how? I am very afraid this stress will kill my grandma.
What do I do? Why are the answers so hard in life?
My mom moved to Italy, finally left today and just arrived in London. My grandma feels really alone. It hurts me so much, that because I do not fit into thier religious mold I have alienated myself from them, though I am quite sure its the other way around.
I keep being told that my decisions affect other people. I understand this, but even my personal decision to worship, or rather not worship a certain god?
Alright, joining the army was a bad idea. I know, I know, but what can I do about that now? I have one more year (hopefully) and I'm done. I don't know what to do. A large part of me just wants to pack up and move to Maryland and be with my family and pat them on the back and say, "its ok. I'm back, everything will be okay."
Can I? Yeah, sure I can find a way to get out there, and find a job and have a life there, but will I really be happy? I know for certain I will not be happy as a Jehovah's Witness. I never was. I can't be. And even if I could, I couldn't rejoin a religon just because my family wants me to. It would have to be something I wanted. I just don't know what to do. I almost want to pack up my clothes and my bike and go make things right. But how? I am very afraid this stress will kill my grandma.
What do I do? Why are the answers so hard in life?