and its my life ...crazy shit man im so emotionally drained
D flips i DEJ: hey
Bnw102: um. hi?
Bnw102: i didnt expect u to answer i was just fucking around... are you gonna make me cry now too?
D flips i DEJ: what are you talking about?
Bnw102: are you kidding me?
Bnw102: www.livejournal.com/~junglebaby215
Bnw102: but besides that just how much u hate me and how u were the last time i tried to talk to you
Bnw102: i bet this isnt even russell... i bet its luis
D flips i DEJ: why would luis be on my im?
D flips i DEJ: i was like anything last time i talked to you, you just started attacking me like i did something while i was just chilling on IM
Bnw102: nah dude
Bnw102: russell, the last time i imed you, you said " why do you keep iming me" ...
D flips i DEJ: right
D flips i DEJ: because you seem to only IM me to start a fight
Bnw102: and you are gonna make me cry then
Bnw102: no russell thats the last thing i ever want to do
D flips i DEJ: i wouldnt mind if you were friendly, that would be great
D flips i DEJ: but you always IM me and act all hostile
Bnw102: im a completely different person than i was yr ago
Bnw102: i dont even drink or smoke anymore, only on rare occasions
D flips i DEJ: good stuff, congrats
Bnw102: :-) and crew is great...
D flips i DEJ: awesome
Bnw102: russell, i know you hate me and all, and believe me... if there was anything in the world i could sacrifice to go back a year, and to do things differently, i would. and i know i acted like an asshole.... and i know how i played mind games, but i was just telling jacqueline (one of ur bros gfs)... its how i deal with shit. an i know it was wrong and i wish i could have handled it differently... as much as i know i hurt you i honestly never meant to... and i know i deserve all of this... and i know i never deserved a friend like you... you were everything to me since i came to school here and really nothing meant more to me than you
D flips i DEJ: maybe we can do lunch one day or something and well talk
D flips i DEJ: i just won 50 bucks on a scratch off monopoly game from the gas station
D flips i DEJ: holy crap
Bnw102: but really, i know im an asshole, and i know all of that.... and i wish there was something that could fix it, but w/o a time travel machine i know its not possible.... but seriously there is not anything in the world that i love more than you.. not one regret ive ever had... and i do cray over it at least twice a week... and i will one day write every thought ive ever had and write it down.. but i just hopeyou dont rip it up... really, ive never been this emotionally distraught in my life... and i deserve this times ten for how i was with you
Bnw102: yay :-)
D flips i DEJ: i gotta go though
Bnw102: but really. if there was any physical pain i could replace this with, i would rather it any day... i know i never treated you how you deserved to be treated last yr... bc im psycho... but u meant more to me than anyone has in my life. seriously.
Bnw102: alright. goodbye.
D flips i DEJ: peace...i guess ill see you online or something this week and we can figuere out a day