doctor who - Those Things
She’d been back with him for two days when she first noticed it. There, in the kitchen bin, the remains of a pear.
She knew it wasn’t her pear, that much was certain.
Even now, looking back, she should have noticed the little things. The things that gave it all away.
“I’m glad you’re back,” he murmured into her hair, clinging to her so tight. They’d saved the universe, the Doctor and Rose. She’d found her was back to him after all this time.
“Me too,” she replied, hugging him just as tightly.
It had made sense, in her brain. They were all little things she passed off to time. It had been three long years for him, and she knew it every time she looked at him and saw the weight in his eyes she’d thought she’d banished.
“Let’s get some chips.” It was spontaneous, but she knew he expected that from her. He should have grinned widely and agreed that it was a wonderful idea.
Instead he wrinkled his forehead and looked a bit confused. “Why?” he asked.
Rose felt like he’d just popped a hole in her ballooning hopes. “Well, I mean, it’s a good tradition, right?”
He wasn’t quiet as thick as he looked, because he smiled brightly and informed her it would be a wonderful tradition.
She should have noticed things like that. How the most things that had seemed so important were now lost on him.
Things that defined them he couldn’t even remember.
Rose cursed her own naivety. It wouldn’t have been that simple. Not for her, not for them. They always learned things the hard way.
“Doctor, I’m fine, really. You can let go of me now.”
He still clung to her, unwilling (and maybe even unable) to let her go. Back for two whole weeks and he was still worried about her.
“The room. It looked-it looked a bit like Torchwood, didn’t it?” His voice cracked a bit and she could feel his chest catch between them.
“Yeah, it did,” she replied, remember the stark white room with levers and handholds and slipping away from everything.
“It was so dark.”
What? She though, pulling back from his embrace with a frown. “What do you mean, so dark?”
Now it was his turn to look confused. His voice faltered a bit. “I meant the room. It was so black and dark and cold…like at Torchwood 4.”
Rose gazed at him in confusion, suddenly things fitting, missing pieces sliding into place. She practically jumped away from him, across the console room in just a few steps.
“No,” she whispered, horrified. “No, no, no, no, this is the right place. Right. Here.”
“Rose?” The Doctor took a step towards her, and suddenly it was wrong. His hair was just a bit too long and orderly, his brown suit just a tad too dark, the glow of the TARDIS just a little too yellow.
Shaking, she reached her hand into her jacket pocket and pulled out the one thing she’d thought she’d never ever use again.
The Doctor’s eyes widened. “Rose! No! What are you doing!?”
She was crying now. So much time, wasted because she tried to ignore reality. This wasn’t her home…it never had been.
“I’m sorry. So sorry. ‘s all my fault. This isn’t the right universe, not for me.” She pulled the dimension cannon out and clutched it in her right hand. He took two long strides and was in front of her, his hand reaching for her left and clutching it tight.
“No! You can’t go. This, this is me, and you, in the TARDIS. Where we’re meant to be.” Now they were both letting tears slip out. His voice was just above a whisper, and she was so sorry. She’d messed up, so bad, so very badly.
“Rose. Please, don’t go.” He released her hand and reached up to cup her cheeks.
“I’m so sorry. But, I’m not your Rose.” Now she was sobbing, and he was trying to smile through both their tears.
“Yes, you are. You’re Rose, and that’s all there is to it.” She shook hear head in his hands.
“No it’s not. But,” she said, sniffling a bit and trying to smile, “your Rose, she’s smart. She’ll find her way home too.” And then she was fingering the button, trying to gather the courage to press it.
“Rose!” The Doctor cried, a last ditch attempt. “I-”
“No,” she said. “Tell her.”
And she pressed the button.
“She’ll be back,” she whispered as she began to fade away, being pulled back to another place, any other place. Anywhere were she didn’t have to see this Doctor’s heartbreak and pain and loss and shock.
But it didn’t matter, because his face would be something she never forgot.