WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE FIFTEEN YEARS OLDER THAN ME AND GAY?! YOU'RE SO HOT IT'S UNBEARABLE. JUST STOP BEING GAY FOR LIKE AN HOUR AND DO ME. OKAY?

Edit @ 1:10 am: It should be a tad bit disturbing to have both a 44 and a 33 year old man slap my ass, but I guess it doesn't matter since they're gay. Right? (He said my ass was firm. THAT MAKES ME ( Read more... )

Duuude. Ali, the dishwasher from IHOP, knows Madame Taylor...weird. Ali is like the funniest person ever ( Read more... )

( Quotes from my first week at IHOP )

I HAVE A JOB. YESS ( Read more... )