(no subject)
I feel a huge sense of loss today. I HATE being tossed from counsellor to counsellor. In this case it was even worse, because I actually LIKED her. Usually sessions are like pulling teeth for me, but it was different. I think her sense of humour really helped put me at ease, and make my issues seem less... heavy. This didn't minimize them (as I am accustomed to doing), but just made the environment more casual and friendly. I liked that. I felt like we were making progress... I mean, I've been two weeks more-or-less pull-free at this point. And, to just be cut off from that? It's heartbreaking. I fought tears as she walked out the door and told me to take care. As soon as my session with my new counsellor was over, I sped to my car and just cried. I cried and I cried. I cried all the way home. I cried in my room. I cried all the way to Delta, where I shoved down my emotions with 5 donuts. It's very hard for me to find anyone that I click with, and then to have one that I had found, taken away... :'(
My new counsellor is an old bag. No sense of humour. In fact, she has so little humour she doesn't just not make jokes. She doesn't even laugh at mine! It's insulting. Plus, she's like two and a half times my age. It's weird. I've always liked talking to counsellors that are female, less than twice my age... and at least young at heart. I liked Christen (Ms. Ryall) very much. She was fun too. I miss her. I miss all the mentors that made a difference in my life. Unfortunately, for professional reasons, they can't see me anymore. And it crushes me, because it makes me feel like all I am is a client. I am work. I am not a friend, I am not a person they would want to see for any other reason beyond the fact that they are paid to see me. It's as if nobody would want to be friends with me unless it was profitable to them. Very uncool. And very lonely.
Oh, and it turns out I'm barely competent in the english language. I only got 66 on my CPT. Pathetic, I know. Shut up.
It doesn't matter right now, 'cause I'm not going to school in the fall anyway.
I feel a compulsive need to clean my room. But I don't want to become obsessive compulsive. Not yet anyway. I have to become manic-depressive first. Then obsessive compulsive. Then I'm aiming for psychosis. If all else fails, schizophrenia might be fun too.
You Are 20% Extrovert, 80% Introvert
You are quite reserved
You aren't afraid of social situations...
But you very much prefer to go it alone
And why not? You're your own best friend!
Are You An Extrovert or An Introvert?
My new counsellor is an old bag. No sense of humour. In fact, she has so little humour she doesn't just not make jokes. She doesn't even laugh at mine! It's insulting. Plus, she's like two and a half times my age. It's weird. I've always liked talking to counsellors that are female, less than twice my age... and at least young at heart. I liked Christen (Ms. Ryall) very much. She was fun too. I miss her. I miss all the mentors that made a difference in my life. Unfortunately, for professional reasons, they can't see me anymore. And it crushes me, because it makes me feel like all I am is a client. I am work. I am not a friend, I am not a person they would want to see for any other reason beyond the fact that they are paid to see me. It's as if nobody would want to be friends with me unless it was profitable to them. Very uncool. And very lonely.
Oh, and it turns out I'm barely competent in the english language. I only got 66 on my CPT. Pathetic, I know. Shut up.
It doesn't matter right now, 'cause I'm not going to school in the fall anyway.
I feel a compulsive need to clean my room. But I don't want to become obsessive compulsive. Not yet anyway. I have to become manic-depressive first. Then obsessive compulsive. Then I'm aiming for psychosis. If all else fails, schizophrenia might be fun too.
You Are 20% Extrovert, 80% Introvert
You are quite reserved
You aren't afraid of social situations...
But you very much prefer to go it alone
And why not? You're your own best friend!
Are You An Extrovert or An Introvert?