Slight normalcy
Hey gang! How goes it? I hope well!
Things here are ok. I had a little bit of time here and so I thought I would use it to make a much-needed update here in the world of LJ. : )
First and foremost I want to take a minute to extend a huge thank you to all of you who have been so super understanding of my absence and distance over the past couple of months. I'm glad that you know that my love for you doesn't dim just because I am busy and that life happens, but you're always there on my mind and in my heart. I so appreciate you...and I'll tell you why it really means so much more than me than it might to others.
All of my life until recently I've spent the bulk of my time looking out for everyone around me, even people I barely knew. I focused my attention on making sure that they were happy and that their lives were good and if they weren't...how could I fix it? I got so consumed in this mission, that I never even considered stopping to check on myself...to see if I were ok or if I was happy. Am I doing what I want? Am I where I want to be?
This work I've been doing with The District...it was mine. This was something that I wanted from the beginning...I didn't hesitate in making the decision to do it and I didn't ask anyone around me if they thought I should do it. I made that decision on my own.
For once, I did something completely for myself. It took up a lot of my time (most of my free time) and was at times stressful, but even in the midst of stress, I was doing something I loved.
I. LIVED.
I went out, I took chances, and along the way, I found pieces of myself that I know I wouldn't have found otherwise. This experience has helped me greatly in my path to growth that I have been on and I know that some of you are probably reading this and making light of it...go ahead. To me, though...this was life-changing in a big way.
It wasn't just about the music...or the boys. It was about me owning something and doing something that I truly wanted to do, even if other people disagreed with what I was doing or thought it was crazy. True, I love the music and the boys and I met a lot of great people along the way and I wouldn't have traded a minute of it.
But, the main point is that this was MY life...I was living MY life, MY dream...I made it a reality and I embraced it with fully open arms and an open heart and mind.
Unfortunately, it ended before it was supposed to and that was a little devastating, but you know what? It's only just the beginning because I know a little more about myself...I speak up more now...and this is the moment I was telling you about. I am emerging and I am stronger and more confident.
I still have a ways to go before I am the woman that I know is inside me, waiting to come out, but I am working my way there and these small steps might as well be giant leaps and bounds. : )
So again...thanks to those of you who are with me! I left a message here letting you all know that I would be on a hiatus of sorts and if you still took my absence as something that it wasn't, then I am sorry but I didn't do that to you...you did it to yourselves. I can't hurt your feelings...only you can allow that to happen.
Life seems to be settling down now so I should be in touch with everyone on a more regular basis...so I'll talk to you soon, ok??
These past couple of months I have been dubbed "Mama Bear" by my boys and so I am going through a sort of empty den syndrome being without them and knowing that they are scattered all over the country and not knowing when I'll see them again. So...I am sure you'll be seeing random posts about them. hahaa
Love you guys! *huge huge huggles...and great big smiles...Tina
Things here are ok. I had a little bit of time here and so I thought I would use it to make a much-needed update here in the world of LJ. : )
First and foremost I want to take a minute to extend a huge thank you to all of you who have been so super understanding of my absence and distance over the past couple of months. I'm glad that you know that my love for you doesn't dim just because I am busy and that life happens, but you're always there on my mind and in my heart. I so appreciate you...and I'll tell you why it really means so much more than me than it might to others.
All of my life until recently I've spent the bulk of my time looking out for everyone around me, even people I barely knew. I focused my attention on making sure that they were happy and that their lives were good and if they weren't...how could I fix it? I got so consumed in this mission, that I never even considered stopping to check on myself...to see if I were ok or if I was happy. Am I doing what I want? Am I where I want to be?
This work I've been doing with The District...it was mine. This was something that I wanted from the beginning...I didn't hesitate in making the decision to do it and I didn't ask anyone around me if they thought I should do it. I made that decision on my own.
For once, I did something completely for myself. It took up a lot of my time (most of my free time) and was at times stressful, but even in the midst of stress, I was doing something I loved.
I. LIVED.
I went out, I took chances, and along the way, I found pieces of myself that I know I wouldn't have found otherwise. This experience has helped me greatly in my path to growth that I have been on and I know that some of you are probably reading this and making light of it...go ahead. To me, though...this was life-changing in a big way.
It wasn't just about the music...or the boys. It was about me owning something and doing something that I truly wanted to do, even if other people disagreed with what I was doing or thought it was crazy. True, I love the music and the boys and I met a lot of great people along the way and I wouldn't have traded a minute of it.
But, the main point is that this was MY life...I was living MY life, MY dream...I made it a reality and I embraced it with fully open arms and an open heart and mind.
Unfortunately, it ended before it was supposed to and that was a little devastating, but you know what? It's only just the beginning because I know a little more about myself...I speak up more now...and this is the moment I was telling you about. I am emerging and I am stronger and more confident.
I still have a ways to go before I am the woman that I know is inside me, waiting to come out, but I am working my way there and these small steps might as well be giant leaps and bounds. : )
So again...thanks to those of you who are with me! I left a message here letting you all know that I would be on a hiatus of sorts and if you still took my absence as something that it wasn't, then I am sorry but I didn't do that to you...you did it to yourselves. I can't hurt your feelings...only you can allow that to happen.
Life seems to be settling down now so I should be in touch with everyone on a more regular basis...so I'll talk to you soon, ok??
These past couple of months I have been dubbed "Mama Bear" by my boys and so I am going through a sort of empty den syndrome being without them and knowing that they are scattered all over the country and not knowing when I'll see them again. So...I am sure you'll be seeing random posts about them. hahaa
Love you guys! *huge huge huggles...and great big smiles...Tina