(no subject)
all the dreams i have that i remember lately have been nightmares of being raped and something dealing with water and nature. last night i dreamt i was in mexico on an elevator with like 5 other guys when the elevator stopped and they started to attack me. this time i didn't actually dream the act of being raped, but in the dream i knew they were going to and they were starting to grab my arms and legs to hold me down. i was crawling on my hands and knees to get away and i could feel my fingernails digging into the floor and dragging as they pulled me back. my mom and alan and my brother were waiting on the bottom floor of the building, not realizing anything out of the ordinary had happened when the elevator doors finally opened. then we were trapped underneath a waterfall in the ocean and whole logs and trees were going down the waterfall. gah i've been having so many dreams like this it's hard to keep them straight in my head. the water parts i don't understand. and it's natural bodies of water, oceans, lakes filled with scariness (marine life). the people under me finally moved out, they're cleaning right now. i myself did some cleaning today, even though i'm sick right now. but now i feel completely depleted and exhausted after only an hour of it. i need to shower. i hate being sick. my head feels like a retarded balloon. i told my landlord yesterday i wont be staying, so i now only have my apartment for 2 more months, and then goodbye first apartment =( i actually did a good amount of cleaning today, half of which was starting the process of throwing out shit in my closet. i figure it'll be good to start the cleaning process now for moving out, that way it's at least a little easier at the end of may. most of what is in my closet is shit rob just gave me that i never unpacked and that i don't need. it's annoying he gave me boxes of garbage he didn't feel like getting rid of. i'm not sad at all that hanging out never worked out for us. it's hard to explain. scooter is so cute. i'm out.