Well here's a quarter...call someone who cares.
well...
here's an update:
-Snow camp was so much fun. the cat with the bra....haha. good times.
-i got a 48% on my math test.
-work's been going good.
-cheerleading ended for good. We did the gymastic's show for ms. carroll...and it was fun. but it was so sad--i cried. and you know what? i have the right to. it may sound dumb. but when you've done something for 5 years...and now it's just over...it's ok to cry. so. i'm bummed cheerleading is over bc it's been fun && i'm gunna miss all the girls. but it's all good now. i'm def. not gunna miss the practices & the drama. lol.
-I went to the Dierks Bentley concert at RIT with Deb, Brad, Ryan && Katie...and it was AMAZING! he's absolutely gorgeous. we were so close...like 3rd row from the stage. oh yeah baby. i got good pictures. it was such a good time &&& i'm sooo glad i went. i didn't get home till 1am. and then i watched wedding crashers--till 3am. so that was a long day--cause i didn't get a nap!!!! lol.
-Sunday i left for albany for 3 days with the most amazing people EVER. from genesee county libby, christie, chip, paul & i went. omg. it was soo much fun. it was basically a government trip. i mean the classes were boring, but the people i went with, the people i met & all the things i experenced made it all worth while. Sunday we just traveled..and got settled in. we went to dinner and just hung out. Saturday we had our orientation and breakfast and all that good stuff. we had lotsa tours & crap...but i was super tired. BECAUSE my arm started to hurt....really really bad, so i took hydrocodone. which is a really really strong drug for pain. um...so i was drowsy, and i had to take another one bc it started wearing off. so i was super tired & after moving around & walking and crap...i got really sick feeling. so monday wasn't so great bc i was sick mostly the whole day. BUT we did get to see some pretty cool stuff. We got to be there for the swearing in of Assesmbly man Steve Hawley from Genesee county. i thought it was pretty cool. not many ppl get to see that. soooo yeah. we got back to the hotel...and i skipped dinner so i could sleep. i did that for about 2 hrs. and i felt better-so went to play the jepordy game thing. it was so much fun. lol. actually chris c. made it so much fun. he's hillarious! i love that kid. so we had a good ol time. then it was time to go back to bed for me. sooo then tuesday we had to get up at like 6am. it sucked. we had a breakfast with our assembly men, and senators. soo i got to meet mary-lou wrath & Dan Burling. it was pretty cool...bc they both knew my grandpa. so yeah. we got to talk to them & get pictures. then we had more tours...and i got to hang out w all the cool ppl again. and then it was time to leave...sad...but i met reed, chris, hannah, jon & got closer w lotsa people. i dunno. i just had a good time. and i love 4-H <3<3<3<3!!!!!!!!!! then we had meetings, and we finally left at 4ish. the ride home seemed like forever! it went by so slow. i just wanted to get home. ya know? we got back to cce @ 7:30ish. i went home && watched american idol and did hw. but i did have a bad night. i just started crying & crying & crying. i dunno why. do you ever get the feeling where you just NEED to cry? thats what i felt like. i just had a break down about everything. and i cried bc i didn't wanna go to school the next day. so then i watched tv & went to bed.
-TOday was bad. bad. bad. first of all---i didn't wanna go to school...even though i missed some ppl. andddd everything was just bugging me. ok so here's what i've decided i'm upset about.
first. i have my period. so i'm super emotional anyways.
but what it all boils down to is....i'm scared. i'm scared about graduating & going to college. yes i'm super excited but i'm scared. when you've done something your whole life...and now you have to change. that's scary. and i'm not going to have a lot of friends bc...everyone goes to college to party. that's why everyone gets so excited. but i'm not going to party. i'm not going to drink. so what do i have to be excited about? no one's guna like me. so i'm kinda scared. and i think high school is hard...well college is gunna be 10 times harder. then classes & everything. even though i'll have more time to do it----more is expected from me. i dunno. ijust don't think i'm gunna like college after all. and even though i hate high school (i mean i HATE it)...i'm gunna miss it. not the schooling..but all the other stuff. i was looking around study hall today-and i realized i'm never going to see these ppl agian. i'll never sit in the round room agian. and now it's actually hitting me. i mean i went to albany this weekend--and that's where kaleigh is going to college. and it took soooo long to get there. she's never gunna visit me. and i dunno if i'll wanna travel that far to visit her. our friendship is never gunna last! and i'm never gunna do cheerleading again, and i'm never gunna do all the fun things i love again. and today i was talking to jeremy about him dying bc what if he gets alchol poisening & i'll be soooo sad. i mean i was half kidding...but seriously what if that happends? it's not unlikely...it really does happen. i mean everyone in my grade drinks...heavily. and it makes me sad that they have no respect for themselves. ya know? and i don't want to see my good freinds die of something so stupid. so i got upset about that. and just everyting came down on me today. math keeps getting harder & harder--and ijust don't know waht to doanymore. bc idon't know how to do it! but i don't want to give up...bc i want this! i've worked so hard...i'm not going to just quit. that's not me. and everyone is talking about prom. and it's making me upset bc i don't have a date. and i dont' have a boyfreind. and i dont' have a date for my cousin's wedding. what am i supposed to do? i'm not going to this stuff alone. so i just dont' know waht to do. i just wish i had an effing boyfriend...bc it would be pretty convenient. lol. i know...that sounds horrible. and it seems lately like everything is wrong with me. i have so many fricken medical problems with me...it's not funny. people don't even know about some of them. i mean i have kidney stones & carpeltunel...and i'm fricken 17 years old! why does this have to happen to me!? i always get sick...and its so frustrating. it seems like i can never enjoy things bc i always have something wrong w me. i mean i'm a good person---or so i'd like to think so...so why does all this crap have to happen to me? i knwo...things could be worse. but. yeah. isn't it funny...that for once, this isn't about a guy? lol.
so in accounting...mrs. majewski gave me and meg a zero on our one project bc she thought we cheated...but we didnt. sooo i was pissed...and just started balling. imean i was like sobbing. god. i just hate feeling like this. it feels like the whole world is falling on me. soooooooooooo yeah. then i had study hall. and then i had work 3-6. it was ok. i felt better when i got to work. i dunno why------but i love working. i just do. it just sucks bc after college i really have to buckle down and do good at one thing...forever. well not forever. but. i'm gunna have to get good grades...so i can get a really good job. errr. why is everything so complicated?
so now i'm at home.
no church tonight.
i have to work on some english crap.
and then american idol.
yea baby.
<3<3
out.
<3<3
Well you and I
We're buddies
And we've been since we first met
Me && you
Well we've sure been through
Our share of laughter and regret
Lord knows we've had our bad days
And more than once we've disagreed
But you've always been a friend to me
You can be so stubborn
There's times I think you just like to fight
And I hope and pray
I live to see a day
When you say I might be right
And there's times I'd rather kill you
Than listen to your honesty
But you've always been a friend to me
You've always been
Time and again
The one to take my hand
And show to me it's okay to be
Just the way I am
With no apology
Oh you've always been
And you will 'til God knows when
Yes you've always been a friend to me