ugh
John flipped out on me today, not sure how he found out im going to see kyle, not to sure that i really give a fuck. He told me he hopes my plane crashes a few times, and that if it lands somehow both times he hopes i get mugged and pregnat, and he insisted on telling me that he cheated on me way more times then i thought he did, and gave me some names. I cared for maybe a mintue, I know i'm better off, im happy, it hurt to hear he cheated more...alot but, i hope for the best of him, and its good we are not talking, he needs do some growing up and i hope he does and i really hope someday me and john will be able to be friends, honestly. Somewhere in him....hes a good person, i know cause i loved that person. Oh well.
i leave in 11 days now, its after midnight so i count it, im scared and excited at the same time, im terrified to fly, john didnt help that. I'm stressed out about my eating habits. Not that i have a disorder or anything, its just that im super pickey, and dont eat alot of things, theres no burger king there i dont think, and idk, it stresses me out kinda. I donno, im worried about money too, we have like none...but im gunna try to make the best of it, kyle is terrible with money, seriously awful, but im hoping things just manage to work out, i also donno what im gunna do while hes working...and im just hangin out at his house lol. And i dont think we're gunna be sleeping in the same bed, his dad doesnt think its right since were not married...hopefully that changes....
Im so excited to go though too, im scared i'll never wanna leave. I have so much to do in the next couple days, i actually got some things done today, i cleaned my car more or less and i went running, i wanna start taking my dogs everyday. hopefully i can get my mom into it too, she needs it too. i wanna be healthier, when i come home from seattle im gunna start taking vitamins and im gunna study and im gunna job hunt, i promise. I really need to get my ass in gear and do some shit. ughh im trying. I dont think ill be bringing my laptop to seattle but i might...i havent decided yet, probably not though. hes got a computer so. whatever idk. to much on my mind..ugh
i leave in 11 days now, its after midnight so i count it, im scared and excited at the same time, im terrified to fly, john didnt help that. I'm stressed out about my eating habits. Not that i have a disorder or anything, its just that im super pickey, and dont eat alot of things, theres no burger king there i dont think, and idk, it stresses me out kinda. I donno, im worried about money too, we have like none...but im gunna try to make the best of it, kyle is terrible with money, seriously awful, but im hoping things just manage to work out, i also donno what im gunna do while hes working...and im just hangin out at his house lol. And i dont think we're gunna be sleeping in the same bed, his dad doesnt think its right since were not married...hopefully that changes....
Im so excited to go though too, im scared i'll never wanna leave. I have so much to do in the next couple days, i actually got some things done today, i cleaned my car more or less and i went running, i wanna start taking my dogs everyday. hopefully i can get my mom into it too, she needs it too. i wanna be healthier, when i come home from seattle im gunna start taking vitamins and im gunna study and im gunna job hunt, i promise. I really need to get my ass in gear and do some shit. ughh im trying. I dont think ill be bringing my laptop to seattle but i might...i havent decided yet, probably not though. hes got a computer so. whatever idk. to much on my mind..ugh