(no subject)
hes gone. =( suckyyyyyyyyy. best couple days of my life?
I leaned agasint him while trying not to cry today. We stood outside by my car. The air wasnt cold, but the breeze felt nice. I felt terriblely sick, I donno if it was me getting over the flu or the butterflies id had all the time he was around me, We kissed, a few times, and hugged tight. there were a few tears i managed to get out of the way, our eyes met,
"dont go kyle, please" i knew how cheesey it sounded then too.
" I gotta baybee (yeah he says it that way, it makes me laugh everytime) i promise i'll be back soon, i promise"
"I think i hate this..."
he hugged me after i said it. this was about twenty mintues after we'd broken into his old house, sat on the stairs, and the floor of his bedroom and laughed about the one time i was over there. We walked through the wholeee house and he told me so many stories.
I still stood agasint my driver side door, knowing i was getting my sweatshirt all muddy,
"anything you wanna tell me?"
"mmmm nope" he tried to kiss me
"you sure?" i asked trying to actually feel the words i knew where there
"yeah babe, anything you wanna tell me?" he asked
"mmm nothing i should" i replied
"im probably thinking it too..." he said, and i felt the progress coming along. i knew he'd say it. I opened my door with my hands behind my back and leaned away in a teasing fashion
"you know.....they say someone who says what their thinking regrets it for a mintues, and someone who doesnt....does forever, you really wanna regret it?" i sat back in my car and looked him dead in the eye, and rolled down my window. we kissed a few more times,
"JUST SAY IT, i know you want to"
"I dont know what you want me to say..."
playingg dumb gets you nowhere. i was begining to think i was wrong.
"nevermind" as i pulled him closer through my window. our lips met again, the passion between us is like fire, its not just pure sexual attraction, its the "i need you here please never leave hey we belong together" kinda passion. theres no other words for it really.
he broke away from our kiss, "I do love you...."
i sat their silent for about seconds before i whisperd "you broke your promise" after another 6 seconds passed by i finally said it, " i love you too"
then i had possibley the best kiss ive had in my life.
goodbyes suck. maybe its an "ill see you later?" i donno. i dont hold out much hope for things. im not a fan of let downs, speaking of, me and abby are no longer friends, shes realllly mature, ill get into that another time. expect more kyle writings. there were so many moments i wanted to write down and didnt, im sure ill remember more when i'm less tired. longggg couple of days. blahhh now to try to sleep...yeah right
ps- scanned this today. i miss youuuuu natalie
