These are things. They exist.
Uhm...long time no update. I've been okay for the most part, even if my coping methods may be questionable. My parents were pretty much hysterical for the first couple days after Lacey's death... there was a lot of guilt and such involved. I really, really, really don't know what to do when my parents are crying. I never know what to say. There's nothing I can say; nothing they don't know. And I have my own mixed up emotions to deal with. So...I've been spending a lot of time downstairs. It didn't help that until early last week I was still suffering from what we confirmed was Klonapin withdrawal. I am back on it for now and am feeling mostly better physically, which is step up.
The fact that I've been talking to pikachuashnat regularly now after months has been a major help. I've missed my buddy just so much, and it's been good to talk to her, even about silly geeky stuff. Perhaps I rely on escapism too much as a coping mechanism, but at least I'm using escapism with someone else...? I dunno. Honestly I wouldn't have any of my stories if I never used fantasy as a coping mechanism. Lawd knows Lillian was a huge outlet of my angst, and that Dakota was the support and love I wished I had. As if it wasn't terribly obvious.
I'm finally going back to work this weekend, which I'm looking forward to. I really just want my life to return to somewhat normal. We'll figure out what to do about the Klonapin later. I just know I'll feel better when I'm being useful.
Need to scan stuff. Managing to get back into drawing now that I'm not being bothered by twitching fits. I WILLL SCAN THAT ART FOR YOU, VINCI!!!
The fact that I've been talking to pikachuashnat regularly now after months has been a major help. I've missed my buddy just so much, and it's been good to talk to her, even about silly geeky stuff. Perhaps I rely on escapism too much as a coping mechanism, but at least I'm using escapism with someone else...? I dunno. Honestly I wouldn't have any of my stories if I never used fantasy as a coping mechanism. Lawd knows Lillian was a huge outlet of my angst, and that Dakota was the support and love I wished I had. As if it wasn't terribly obvious.
I'm finally going back to work this weekend, which I'm looking forward to. I really just want my life to return to somewhat normal. We'll figure out what to do about the Klonapin later. I just know I'll feel better when I'm being useful.
Need to scan stuff. Managing to get back into drawing now that I'm not being bothered by twitching fits. I WILLL SCAN THAT ART FOR YOU, VINCI!!!