Good Bye
HUGELY EDITED:
leaving my journal. can't handle this online journaling addiction. this insane need for people to know how much pain i'm in and validate it. i need to get out there and tell as much as possible to my therapist and the others involved in my care. i'm returning to paper journaling where i can say everything. i don't have to worry about somebody stumbling accross it; people judging me; or the privacy of others.
it's just gone too far.
i can't believe i would stoop so low as to support eating disorders in others. i got caught up in it all. now, realizing, that my ED doesn't need outside support. it's all in me. i don't need to have other people "understand" me. it's a lonely disease and i was fooling myself to think that i would feel less alone by talking with people who could relate.
fuck those who think this is a lifestyle. fuck those that understand that it's a disease and still encourage it (tho i'm guilty of it too).
bye people. i will miss you and i'll be thinking of you.
leaving my journal. can't handle this online journaling addiction. this insane need for people to know how much pain i'm in and validate it. i need to get out there and tell as much as possible to my therapist and the others involved in my care. i'm returning to paper journaling where i can say everything. i don't have to worry about somebody stumbling accross it; people judging me; or the privacy of others.
it's just gone too far.
i can't believe i would stoop so low as to support eating disorders in others. i got caught up in it all. now, realizing, that my ED doesn't need outside support. it's all in me. i don't need to have other people "understand" me. it's a lonely disease and i was fooling myself to think that i would feel less alone by talking with people who could relate.
fuck those who think this is a lifestyle. fuck those that understand that it's a disease and still encourage it (tho i'm guilty of it too).
bye people. i will miss you and i'll be thinking of you.