I just thought I'd update this
So I realized a few things about my life lately, and here goes:
There's a few people that go through my mind daily. And I'm sorry if you aren't one of them, there's no offense meant by this, I just have to say this, and it's ok if you don't get it.
I don'tknow what it's like to not be in love anymore. I don't know what it's like to not have him on my mind most of the day, to want him to be there when my papers and stress get me so overwhelmed that I feel like screaming. I don't know how to put it in words how I truly feel about him. And I know that some of you want to know why I feel this way. Well, last night Riley and I were typing away on our laptops, I was talking to Morgan and he was balancing his checkbook..haha yep..and he said, oh, I downloaded a song when you were gone for mother's day. And I said, really, what song? Riley gets all red and says,it's a stupid corny one, and I know you'll probably laugh at me, but I just wanted to have it. He downloaded Sinead O Conner's Nothing Compares to you. Now, I remember this song back in the day. I remember how it was just something my sister liked and it was something that I just heard on the radio and normally turned the station. So, after he gives me this song,and I hear all of the other songs he gives me, I wonder.I wonder about how in the world this one guy could love me this much. And I'm not trying to be depressing, but It's just a thought in my mind.
I wrote him a letter yesterday, or a few days back, well I had been working on the letter for a few days, and I finished it on Monday. And the letter itself was just simply me telling him how much he meant to me. And I know that some of you have gotten letters from me like this, where I tell you how grateful and lucky I am to have you in my life. So that's what he gets a lot b/c I feel like if I do'nt tell him, he'll never know.
I have a huge history paper due today in a few minutes. It's done, don't worry. And it's done because my blood and sweatwent into it. And I worked really hard on it. And I know how much college hasn't been too hard for me, except for the emotional and social changes. But academically, it's not that hard. Socially, and Emotionally,with the rollercoasters of me changing from a young women into a real woman, it's hard to see myself even become a woman. I can't say that I am one. Right now, in my life,I'm not. But one day, one day whenI'm grown up, I will be. In a week, I turn 19. And I know that i should probably think more about all this. So my plan is when I'm home this weekend, to take a little bit of time and think. Just go for a walk and think. That's my plan.
Alright well Ishould go to class.
I love and miss you all and hope to see you soon
-Jules
There's a few people that go through my mind daily. And I'm sorry if you aren't one of them, there's no offense meant by this, I just have to say this, and it's ok if you don't get it.
I don'tknow what it's like to not be in love anymore. I don't know what it's like to not have him on my mind most of the day, to want him to be there when my papers and stress get me so overwhelmed that I feel like screaming. I don't know how to put it in words how I truly feel about him. And I know that some of you want to know why I feel this way. Well, last night Riley and I were typing away on our laptops, I was talking to Morgan and he was balancing his checkbook..haha yep..and he said, oh, I downloaded a song when you were gone for mother's day. And I said, really, what song? Riley gets all red and says,it's a stupid corny one, and I know you'll probably laugh at me, but I just wanted to have it. He downloaded Sinead O Conner's Nothing Compares to you. Now, I remember this song back in the day. I remember how it was just something my sister liked and it was something that I just heard on the radio and normally turned the station. So, after he gives me this song,and I hear all of the other songs he gives me, I wonder.I wonder about how in the world this one guy could love me this much. And I'm not trying to be depressing, but It's just a thought in my mind.
I wrote him a letter yesterday, or a few days back, well I had been working on the letter for a few days, and I finished it on Monday. And the letter itself was just simply me telling him how much he meant to me. And I know that some of you have gotten letters from me like this, where I tell you how grateful and lucky I am to have you in my life. So that's what he gets a lot b/c I feel like if I do'nt tell him, he'll never know.
I have a huge history paper due today in a few minutes. It's done, don't worry. And it's done because my blood and sweatwent into it. And I worked really hard on it. And I know how much college hasn't been too hard for me, except for the emotional and social changes. But academically, it's not that hard. Socially, and Emotionally,with the rollercoasters of me changing from a young women into a real woman, it's hard to see myself even become a woman. I can't say that I am one. Right now, in my life,I'm not. But one day, one day whenI'm grown up, I will be. In a week, I turn 19. And I know that i should probably think more about all this. So my plan is when I'm home this weekend, to take a little bit of time and think. Just go for a walk and think. That's my plan.
Alright well Ishould go to class.
I love and miss you all and hope to see you soon
-Jules