I am releived
The Truth About Love
I feel better than I have in months. Confused, emotional... but so light and burdenless
Kyle and I had a beautiful talk into the full moon night, which began with him saying "If you are moving past me, or if you don't want to be with me anymore you just have to tell me and you can just let me go." and we lived in reality, where we just aren't working out but knowing we'll love each other forever and that we need to grow up. It is like fate does not want us together, because all of the puzzle pieces are in place, but they no longer fit. But fate has always been kind to me, so I have to follow my heart.
For a year my heart has been so confused. We've always been absurdly different and mutually perplexed by each others existence, but now he can let me go so I can move forward. We were meant to be perfect together for a time, and for now that time is over... I do not look to future relationships or ponder the prospects of other men, because I have the highest standard of all: True love!I like see the beauty in everyone, but I am happy to be me by myself for once in my adulthood. I cried to let him go, but I know what fate wants and what my heart needs...I loved that man more than anything.
God I am a cheezeball. But I don't regret a moment, and I know I will never be the same --to my benefit.
I leave next Monday to go tree planting. and then who knows... My life is different now and so am I!
I have finished almost all of my essays and I will be done my undergrad. As temporally stressful as it has been, I am really glad I took the extra time to over-research my end projects. My brain is awake once again and enthused (and on some subjects, delightfully and knowledgeably enraged!). The sun is warm again and finally my heart is ready to heal. I am renewed! I feel like I can make the best of myself now, and that is what I plan to do!
Watch out Halifax, I shall help build you into a real paradise!
Visit me before Sunday, which is when my subletter moves in!