Maxed out - Breastfeeding woes
That's it. I cracked.
The precious and much appreciated resource of a lactation room at work has caused me more anxiety than any other aspect of my job. It is the home of all of my fears and stress related to trying to work and nurse a baby at the same time. And clearly I'm not alone. The other women using the rooms are equally emotionally vulnerable and stressed out. There is just nothing pleasant about it.
I almost wish the resource wasn't there. That it was much harder,even prohibitive, to work and breastfeed an infant at the same time. The layers of complication are too deep.
Today because of meetings I had to try and find time in a room outside of my normally scheduled time. I thought I had found a spot but then when I opened the unlocked door, there was a woman pumping - a horrible situation in which to be when someone unexpected comes into the room. So I went to another room where I knew someone was scheduled, but she wasn't there. Hoping she was already finished, I jumped in. Within minutes I heard her outside the door waiting. So I quickly finished up, having only pumped for 5 minutes. I apologized immediately when I saw her outside the room. She did not respond and only looked hard at me...right in the eye. Then she turned and said she would have to head back to work because she didn't have enough time (10 minutes still in her scheduled window). Before going to my 9am meeting I emailed her and again apologized and told her she was welcome to use my time slot since I was in a meeting then. She still has not replied. I have been sobbing all morning. I have had conflicts at other times with the room schedule and I just feel like I'm really in the wrong, but I don't really know how other people don't have the same scheduling problems sometimes. My empathy for others is so great, but yet I have my own needs to consider. And my own feelings.
I'm soliciting any and all input on this topic. Does anyone else have a similar experience? Or suggestions about how to feel less alone in this challenge? I'm making this post public so that anyone and everyone can chime in.
The precious and much appreciated resource of a lactation room at work has caused me more anxiety than any other aspect of my job. It is the home of all of my fears and stress related to trying to work and nurse a baby at the same time. And clearly I'm not alone. The other women using the rooms are equally emotionally vulnerable and stressed out. There is just nothing pleasant about it.
I almost wish the resource wasn't there. That it was much harder,even prohibitive, to work and breastfeed an infant at the same time. The layers of complication are too deep.
Today because of meetings I had to try and find time in a room outside of my normally scheduled time. I thought I had found a spot but then when I opened the unlocked door, there was a woman pumping - a horrible situation in which to be when someone unexpected comes into the room. So I went to another room where I knew someone was scheduled, but she wasn't there. Hoping she was already finished, I jumped in. Within minutes I heard her outside the door waiting. So I quickly finished up, having only pumped for 5 minutes. I apologized immediately when I saw her outside the room. She did not respond and only looked hard at me...right in the eye. Then she turned and said she would have to head back to work because she didn't have enough time (10 minutes still in her scheduled window). Before going to my 9am meeting I emailed her and again apologized and told her she was welcome to use my time slot since I was in a meeting then. She still has not replied. I have been sobbing all morning. I have had conflicts at other times with the room schedule and I just feel like I'm really in the wrong, but I don't really know how other people don't have the same scheduling problems sometimes. My empathy for others is so great, but yet I have my own needs to consider. And my own feelings.
I'm soliciting any and all input on this topic. Does anyone else have a similar experience? Or suggestions about how to feel less alone in this challenge? I'm making this post public so that anyone and everyone can chime in.