(no subject)
I went through a folder of e-mails that I can't bring myself to delete today. I like keeping them around because like this LiveJournal which I update sparsely (but still update!) it reminds me my naivety, but also my brevity and optimism. The more I push myself to evolve and grow, the happier I am.
My life is full of intense, ephemeral highs and has been for a few years. I lead a life enviable to most in a sense that I start a thought with, "I want to do ___ " and develop an action plan to attain it, and eventually do. My life for the past two years has basically followed the path of this:
1. Strive to be close to the thing or people who could make me the most happy in this time period.
2. Fly there.
3. Fly home on a redeye in time for work the next morning.
Obviously, this is not sustainable. I need to be saving more money. Who knows what the future will hold? At the same time, you're really only young once. Who knows what will make me happy next year? Three years ago, it was fine beverage, the art of cocktail, gourmet coffee. Two years ago, I was photoblogging a tasting menu at the L'Espalier chef's table. Last year, I traveled with no regard to cost. Throughout the winter, I basically became a hermit because I was so sad and depressed because work was getting to me. I tried to see people but I just did not have the motivation to do that, or take care of myself. I'm really glad that I've developed a reflective pattern where I never let myself slip too far. I fought through it, got my resume together, and landed a sweet full-time job as a commercial real estate servicing analyst. I love my job, and I am really proud of all the hard work I put into my career to get to where I am, and the options I still have no matter what even though I've fucked up so many times along the way. It's empowering. It's a nice feeling.
The good news is that life has stabilized. The bad news is, it's like cleaning up tornado wreckage. Bit by bit, but at least I have a clear plan. I work one job - 40 hours. I have some great friends. I love my family. Very little is missing from my life. I don't feel like a snowball rolling down a hill anymore.
Recently reconnected with an old roommate from 5 Rose, the epic commune i used to live in back in my Somervillian days. She gladly roped me into volunteering for a women's center in Cambridge. I'm excited to see what kind of cool awareness efforts we can wrangle when we put our smart, sexy minds to it. It also gives me an excuse to hang out in Cambridge. Not the closest commute to where I am but a nice one. I like reading on the train. It's what I do.
I had the best day ever on Saturday with two of my friends. Went to Isa's house in Allston. We had all gone to White Horse Tavern the night before. I took it easy, and was pretty happy I woke up non-ill. We went shopping and talked over bubble teas. I spent $120 over 3 thrift stores and bought five dresses, four sweaters, a pair of red flats, a shirt, a skirt, and a dress to repurpose into a skirt. We went out, stole our friend Eric for the day, and went out to the popular new ramen place in Porter Square. It was beautiful. It was seriously the best day I've had in a long while. I am and always will be so very easy to please.
I guess I'll continue to write in this occasionally as I've been doing since 2001. It's really fun to see how I've moved along nicely in the past twelve years. I just feel really great about everything, and I have for awhile and I hope it stays that way forever and ever and ever and ever.
My life is full of intense, ephemeral highs and has been for a few years. I lead a life enviable to most in a sense that I start a thought with, "I want to do ___ " and develop an action plan to attain it, and eventually do. My life for the past two years has basically followed the path of this:
1. Strive to be close to the thing or people who could make me the most happy in this time period.
2. Fly there.
3. Fly home on a redeye in time for work the next morning.
Obviously, this is not sustainable. I need to be saving more money. Who knows what the future will hold? At the same time, you're really only young once. Who knows what will make me happy next year? Three years ago, it was fine beverage, the art of cocktail, gourmet coffee. Two years ago, I was photoblogging a tasting menu at the L'Espalier chef's table. Last year, I traveled with no regard to cost. Throughout the winter, I basically became a hermit because I was so sad and depressed because work was getting to me. I tried to see people but I just did not have the motivation to do that, or take care of myself. I'm really glad that I've developed a reflective pattern where I never let myself slip too far. I fought through it, got my resume together, and landed a sweet full-time job as a commercial real estate servicing analyst. I love my job, and I am really proud of all the hard work I put into my career to get to where I am, and the options I still have no matter what even though I've fucked up so many times along the way. It's empowering. It's a nice feeling.
The good news is that life has stabilized. The bad news is, it's like cleaning up tornado wreckage. Bit by bit, but at least I have a clear plan. I work one job - 40 hours. I have some great friends. I love my family. Very little is missing from my life. I don't feel like a snowball rolling down a hill anymore.
Recently reconnected with an old roommate from 5 Rose, the epic commune i used to live in back in my Somervillian days. She gladly roped me into volunteering for a women's center in Cambridge. I'm excited to see what kind of cool awareness efforts we can wrangle when we put our smart, sexy minds to it. It also gives me an excuse to hang out in Cambridge. Not the closest commute to where I am but a nice one. I like reading on the train. It's what I do.
I had the best day ever on Saturday with two of my friends. Went to Isa's house in Allston. We had all gone to White Horse Tavern the night before. I took it easy, and was pretty happy I woke up non-ill. We went shopping and talked over bubble teas. I spent $120 over 3 thrift stores and bought five dresses, four sweaters, a pair of red flats, a shirt, a skirt, and a dress to repurpose into a skirt. We went out, stole our friend Eric for the day, and went out to the popular new ramen place in Porter Square. It was beautiful. It was seriously the best day I've had in a long while. I am and always will be so very easy to please.
I guess I'll continue to write in this occasionally as I've been doing since 2001. It's really fun to see how I've moved along nicely in the past twelve years. I just feel really great about everything, and I have for awhile and I hope it stays that way forever and ever and ever and ever.