why, hello there...
I. 3 hrs sleep last night. you think this hard work will pay off one day?
II. Walked home from the train at 730pm in my business attire. felt pretty cool as I passed by the young whippersnappers in line for the movie theatre. HA! movies. who has time for THAT nowadays?
III. Get home. Don't have keys. Empty house. Brother's cell phone is always off and kept in his room. Spent 30 min trying to break into my house. Picture this: girl in dress and heels climbing banisters, struggling with windows, and THEN this is the best part: stacking all the bricks and garbage cans, balancing on the edge of the can to hoooooooooiiiist herself up onto the fence. it was a very precarious situation, straddling that rickety wooden fence. I broke one of the tips of the fence and scraped my ass on the way down. So I can't exactly see what's going on back there, but I think i have this cut on the back of my thigh, and who knows how many splinters are buried in my ass.
So now i'm in the backyard, liberating Gren. I tie a wire to his collar and use that as a leash as I try to break into the back windows/door of my house. The basement window is easily opened, but too small for me to squeeze into. The door, my last hope, is locked. Godfuckingdamnitmutherfucker.
So we circle back to the front and I'm tiptoeing on the railing again (in heels cuz I didn't want to take them off or else I'd be stepping on the RUSTY railing and might get tetanus!!!) and i'm pushing and shoving this window and finally, I make a tiny incision where the little stub is on the inside so maybe i can open it that way. But my father, my brilliant father, made the house SO thief-proof that he nailed the screen in place. So I said, fuck it and just ripped the whole screen open, a giant vertical gash and just stepped through into my house. I was so angry, that I almost broke a window just for the hell of it. Just smash everything. And my brother's car. How much you wanna bet that my dad and bro won't ever notice the gash in the screen?
My favorite part in all this is that we live across from this apartment building, where a robber must live cuz there's lots of robberies on my street, so someone is def peering through one of the many windows, keeping tabs on us. I really hope he enjoyed & learned something from watching me break into my own house.
IV. Then I took Gren out for a date at pizza hut and we split a family order of breadsticks, eating it outside.
V. Friday night 9pm. Time to hit the books.
II. Walked home from the train at 730pm in my business attire. felt pretty cool as I passed by the young whippersnappers in line for the movie theatre. HA! movies. who has time for THAT nowadays?
III. Get home. Don't have keys. Empty house. Brother's cell phone is always off and kept in his room. Spent 30 min trying to break into my house. Picture this: girl in dress and heels climbing banisters, struggling with windows, and THEN this is the best part: stacking all the bricks and garbage cans, balancing on the edge of the can to hoooooooooiiiist herself up onto the fence. it was a very precarious situation, straddling that rickety wooden fence. I broke one of the tips of the fence and scraped my ass on the way down. So I can't exactly see what's going on back there, but I think i have this cut on the back of my thigh, and who knows how many splinters are buried in my ass.
So now i'm in the backyard, liberating Gren. I tie a wire to his collar and use that as a leash as I try to break into the back windows/door of my house. The basement window is easily opened, but too small for me to squeeze into. The door, my last hope, is locked. Godfuckingdamnitmutherfucker.
So we circle back to the front and I'm tiptoeing on the railing again (in heels cuz I didn't want to take them off or else I'd be stepping on the RUSTY railing and might get tetanus!!!) and i'm pushing and shoving this window and finally, I make a tiny incision where the little stub is on the inside so maybe i can open it that way. But my father, my brilliant father, made the house SO thief-proof that he nailed the screen in place. So I said, fuck it and just ripped the whole screen open, a giant vertical gash and just stepped through into my house. I was so angry, that I almost broke a window just for the hell of it. Just smash everything. And my brother's car. How much you wanna bet that my dad and bro won't ever notice the gash in the screen?
My favorite part in all this is that we live across from this apartment building, where a robber must live cuz there's lots of robberies on my street, so someone is def peering through one of the many windows, keeping tabs on us. I really hope he enjoyed & learned something from watching me break into my own house.
IV. Then I took Gren out for a date at pizza hut and we split a family order of breadsticks, eating it outside.
V. Friday night 9pm. Time to hit the books.