cranky bitch
this weekend turned out to be one of the worst in a looong time. it started friday night, i was staying in, daniel was coming over to hang out with my and a couple of chris's friends. ashley came over later too. the night climaxed when chris refused to help me clean the disaster called our kitchen. and i yelled at him. a little. and when ashley made a little comment about something i said the night before, being "shrill." which it absolutely was NOT. so then i yelled at her too. a lot. well not really, i expressed how offended i was, and compared it to me calling her a CUNT, and walking away. which really offended her, and she was going to get up and leave, so we went at it. hardcore. and she was going to leave because it was getting that heated
(and for some reason, everyone was blaming my anger and rage at the fact that i was drunk, which i was not.)
but then the dishwasher exploded.
not really. just soap and water everywhere. so she and daniel helped me clean it up. then we talked and smoked and drank until 5am ish (when she finally decided to friggin leave.) and i went to daniels to spend the night. and here is where the shit really hits the fan.
apparently, my family was not thrilled that i left the house. and it turned into one of those fights that encompasses every issue we have, combined with the one they were really mad about. i woke up in daniel's bed, 12pm the next day, to my mother screaming "I WANT YOUR ASS BACK IN THIS HOUSE IN ONE HOUR!!" to which i responded "hell nah." apparently, adrian up and decided he was coming down for a visit so my mom was crazy cleaning and cooking. blah blah blah, after fighting with her, she decided to tell me to not come home.
but i did around 3pm. and went to room, slept, woke up and went downstairs. there was chris having his rehearsal with his band, my parents, my brother and sister in law, and the kids. and there i was like a frigging outcast, so i went to bridget and amanda's.
got wasted, slept on the couch. came home mother's day, with a peace offering of wings for my mother. which still didnt inspire much conversation, but at least she let me stay in the house.
and all the while, im paranoid because daniel wont return my calls or texts, and i left him at a nude beach the day before with his friend that he hooked up with "a couple times." haha fucking fantastic, right?
this post could go on and on, but lets wrap it up.
daniel and i are still talking and ok, but im beginning to wonder about certain things. like, does he like me for the wrong reasons? is he hooking up with other people every chance he gets? (which, i think is ok because we're not officially together, but i think there should be SOME limitations.)
my family doesnt want to hear anything about daniel... not because its a gay thing as i originally thought, but because they want me to get my life in order first. (@.<) so basically, they will continue to treat me like shit, and make me feel worthless, while pushing me to magically change my life overnight and get a better job.
i have an interview at 11, and im not sure how i feel about it, but im going to do my best and hope i get it. bleh.
my life really makes me sick sometimes. today is one of those days.
(and for some reason, everyone was blaming my anger and rage at the fact that i was drunk, which i was not.)
but then the dishwasher exploded.
not really. just soap and water everywhere. so she and daniel helped me clean it up. then we talked and smoked and drank until 5am ish (when she finally decided to friggin leave.) and i went to daniels to spend the night. and here is where the shit really hits the fan.
apparently, my family was not thrilled that i left the house. and it turned into one of those fights that encompasses every issue we have, combined with the one they were really mad about. i woke up in daniel's bed, 12pm the next day, to my mother screaming "I WANT YOUR ASS BACK IN THIS HOUSE IN ONE HOUR!!" to which i responded "hell nah." apparently, adrian up and decided he was coming down for a visit so my mom was crazy cleaning and cooking. blah blah blah, after fighting with her, she decided to tell me to not come home.
but i did around 3pm. and went to room, slept, woke up and went downstairs. there was chris having his rehearsal with his band, my parents, my brother and sister in law, and the kids. and there i was like a frigging outcast, so i went to bridget and amanda's.
got wasted, slept on the couch. came home mother's day, with a peace offering of wings for my mother. which still didnt inspire much conversation, but at least she let me stay in the house.
and all the while, im paranoid because daniel wont return my calls or texts, and i left him at a nude beach the day before with his friend that he hooked up with "a couple times." haha fucking fantastic, right?
this post could go on and on, but lets wrap it up.
daniel and i are still talking and ok, but im beginning to wonder about certain things. like, does he like me for the wrong reasons? is he hooking up with other people every chance he gets? (which, i think is ok because we're not officially together, but i think there should be SOME limitations.)
my family doesnt want to hear anything about daniel... not because its a gay thing as i originally thought, but because they want me to get my life in order first. (@.<) so basically, they will continue to treat me like shit, and make me feel worthless, while pushing me to magically change my life overnight and get a better job.
i have an interview at 11, and im not sure how i feel about it, but im going to do my best and hope i get it. bleh.
my life really makes me sick sometimes. today is one of those days.