long overdue for a rant
I rarely ever mention my family here -- generally when I do it's a complaint. That's not going to change in this entry, though they are great people most of the time.
So, quick background:
My mom was born in Colombia, the middle child in a giant family with very strict parents. She was the first to move to the US, and she put herself through college and a PhD program. She's really smart and people respect her at work. A few years ago she helped found a charity to send money and supplies to poor children in South America. Moral of the story: she has her shit together.
EXCEPT. If you argue with her, she turns into a 5-year-old. Seriously. If she doesn't like what you're saying she'll start humming loudly to herself. One time we were at an outdoor concert having a picnic, and my dad brought fried chicken. She had requested grilled, and when she saw it wasn't what she asked for she STOOD UP AND WALKED AWAY. The three of us were eating, and she was across the lawn, sitting under a tree, watching us.
I wanted to have a nice dinner out together before I move to Boston next week, so I asked my parents if it would be okay to pick a restaurant. They said fine. I chose Central, which is a top-rated DC restaurant. It's pricy, but not super expensive for the area, and anyway, I won't be around for my birthday in September, so this is an early celebration. Also, we have never had problems with money.
Immediately my mom starts throwing out objections: "The meal's going to cost $400." "I don't want to go to the city on a weeknight." "We're going to stay out too late." "You only want to go because Yelp tells you to." (seriously???)
So I counter with, "The most expensive entree is $30; the meal will be $200 max. But if you want me to pay for it, I will." "You stay out until 11 on weeknights for your charity meetings, but okay. How about we have the dinner Sunday at 6?" "You're being ridiculous."
So THEN she says she thinks it's a waste of money, that she'd rather buy me a fall wardrobe (which just proves money wasn't the issue), and that she's old and only likes eating at the places she's used to. So, despite the fact that I've offered to compromise on all her talking points, ANY restaurant is preferable to the one I've picked, and she refuses to go.
Normally I'd say, okay, I want things to be good between us before I leave, I'll just pick something else -- but I've catered to her getting her way for years. She does this on holidays and birthdays. And honestly, why can't SHE cooperate for once? How hard is it to just say yes? If I'm sounding selfish, so be it -- I'm 26 and she's a grown woman with kids and a PhD. I'm tired of being the mature one.
So I made the reservation anyway, and it may just be me and my dad and sister next Wednesday. I hope she can figure out that it's not worth fighting over before then, because I'll be gone three days later.
So, quick background:
My mom was born in Colombia, the middle child in a giant family with very strict parents. She was the first to move to the US, and she put herself through college and a PhD program. She's really smart and people respect her at work. A few years ago she helped found a charity to send money and supplies to poor children in South America. Moral of the story: she has her shit together.
EXCEPT. If you argue with her, she turns into a 5-year-old. Seriously. If she doesn't like what you're saying she'll start humming loudly to herself. One time we were at an outdoor concert having a picnic, and my dad brought fried chicken. She had requested grilled, and when she saw it wasn't what she asked for she STOOD UP AND WALKED AWAY. The three of us were eating, and she was across the lawn, sitting under a tree, watching us.
I wanted to have a nice dinner out together before I move to Boston next week, so I asked my parents if it would be okay to pick a restaurant. They said fine. I chose Central, which is a top-rated DC restaurant. It's pricy, but not super expensive for the area, and anyway, I won't be around for my birthday in September, so this is an early celebration. Also, we have never had problems with money.
Immediately my mom starts throwing out objections: "The meal's going to cost $400." "I don't want to go to the city on a weeknight." "We're going to stay out too late." "You only want to go because Yelp tells you to." (seriously???)
So I counter with, "The most expensive entree is $30; the meal will be $200 max. But if you want me to pay for it, I will." "You stay out until 11 on weeknights for your charity meetings, but okay. How about we have the dinner Sunday at 6?" "You're being ridiculous."
So THEN she says she thinks it's a waste of money, that she'd rather buy me a fall wardrobe (which just proves money wasn't the issue), and that she's old and only likes eating at the places she's used to. So, despite the fact that I've offered to compromise on all her talking points, ANY restaurant is preferable to the one I've picked, and she refuses to go.
Normally I'd say, okay, I want things to be good between us before I leave, I'll just pick something else -- but I've catered to her getting her way for years. She does this on holidays and birthdays. And honestly, why can't SHE cooperate for once? How hard is it to just say yes? If I'm sounding selfish, so be it -- I'm 26 and she's a grown woman with kids and a PhD. I'm tired of being the mature one.
So I made the reservation anyway, and it may just be me and my dad and sister next Wednesday. I hope she can figure out that it's not worth fighting over before then, because I'll be gone three days later.