c is for cooking
Usually when people ask if I can cook, I'll joke and say something like, "Yeah, I make a mean grilled cheese sandwich" (true). But I'm actually not terrible in the kitchen -- when I put my mind to it, I can cook up tasty stuff; I just don't try very hard most of the time. However, when it comes to baking... eyargh. Last week my office had a potluck lunch, and I decided that this would be the year I'd dazzle my co-workers with my oven skills.
$25 worth of ingredients, two and a half hours in the kitchen, and a giant mess later, I had a dozen piping hot peppermint-chocolate cupcakes. After they cooled, I swirled light pink frosting from a squeezy tube mixed with red and white crystals and topped each one with a mint leaf; they were gorgeous. The next day I placed the batch on a counter and watched people claim them, one-by-one; I had already snagged a cupcake to split with my friend Anne. When I eagerly bit into my half... eh. The frosting was great, but the cake part was dry. Pretty on the outside, lameness on the inside. BAKING FAIL.
Cut to last night: my office is having a cookie exchange -- perfect way to redeem myself, right? I chose to make stained glass sugar cookies because they looked simple to make, but impressive. I whipped up the dough pretty quickly, popped it in the fridge and had a beer. Then my mom called, asking if I wanted to help her and my dad decorate their Christmas tree. I agreed to come over, and I brought the chilled dough with me; I thought it would be fun to have them help with my project.
I had my mom crush Jolly Ranchers while I attempted to cut the dough into shapes -- I say attempted because the dough was extremely sticky and gooey; I couldn't get it to hold any shape or cooperate with a rolling pin. I finally ditched the cookie cutter idea and squashed some circles out with my hands while my dad shook his head. My mom scattered candy shards on top, and we popped them in the oven. The circles turned into MONSTERS within five minutes, puffing up and expanding all over the cookie sheet. The candy looked like radioactive acne on these giant mounds of dough -- ALLOW ME TO SHOW YOU!
So, after two failed baking attempts in one week, we arrive at the moral of this post/note to self: The grocery store is your friend. Five minutes and $10 later, you have two dozen perfectly baked cookies, and a free evening to spend watching Glee.
$25 worth of ingredients, two and a half hours in the kitchen, and a giant mess later, I had a dozen piping hot peppermint-chocolate cupcakes. After they cooled, I swirled light pink frosting from a squeezy tube mixed with red and white crystals and topped each one with a mint leaf; they were gorgeous. The next day I placed the batch on a counter and watched people claim them, one-by-one; I had already snagged a cupcake to split with my friend Anne. When I eagerly bit into my half... eh. The frosting was great, but the cake part was dry. Pretty on the outside, lameness on the inside. BAKING FAIL.
Cut to last night: my office is having a cookie exchange -- perfect way to redeem myself, right? I chose to make stained glass sugar cookies because they looked simple to make, but impressive. I whipped up the dough pretty quickly, popped it in the fridge and had a beer. Then my mom called, asking if I wanted to help her and my dad decorate their Christmas tree. I agreed to come over, and I brought the chilled dough with me; I thought it would be fun to have them help with my project.
I had my mom crush Jolly Ranchers while I attempted to cut the dough into shapes -- I say attempted because the dough was extremely sticky and gooey; I couldn't get it to hold any shape or cooperate with a rolling pin. I finally ditched the cookie cutter idea and squashed some circles out with my hands while my dad shook his head. My mom scattered candy shards on top, and we popped them in the oven. The circles turned into MONSTERS within five minutes, puffing up and expanding all over the cookie sheet. The candy looked like radioactive acne on these giant mounds of dough -- ALLOW ME TO SHOW YOU!
So, after two failed baking attempts in one week, we arrive at the moral of this post/note to self: The grocery store is your friend. Five minutes and $10 later, you have two dozen perfectly baked cookies, and a free evening to spend watching Glee.