Swallowed Pride
I just read over my last entry, and wow do I sound angry.
After I wrote that entry two nights ago, I went to bed and woke up the next day in the pits of numbness. Then I realized I was being a total moron. I was letting myself fall into my own trap - depression. Was I really going to do that to myself again? After all that I've been through in the last two years, all of the lessons I've learned and the obstacles I've overcome, I was seriously going to fall into the downward spiral again?
And then, an epiphany. I've been seeing this wrong way all along. During this whole break-up process I have been viewing my ex as the enemy... well, not the enemy, but getting over him has been the enemy. The obstacle I must overcome. But that hasn't been my worst enemy. My worst enemy has been myself. I haven't been fighting a battle with someone out there, I've been fighting with someone in here *points to chest*. I am the person who can make myself feel better because I am the person who makes myself feel worse. And I don't need to get over him - I need to get over myself. I will not be eaten alive by this. I will not go back to where I was before. I refuse.
After I wrote that entry two nights ago, I went to bed and woke up the next day in the pits of numbness. Then I realized I was being a total moron. I was letting myself fall into my own trap - depression. Was I really going to do that to myself again? After all that I've been through in the last two years, all of the lessons I've learned and the obstacles I've overcome, I was seriously going to fall into the downward spiral again?
And then, an epiphany. I've been seeing this wrong way all along. During this whole break-up process I have been viewing my ex as the enemy... well, not the enemy, but getting over him has been the enemy. The obstacle I must overcome. But that hasn't been my worst enemy. My worst enemy has been myself. I haven't been fighting a battle with someone out there, I've been fighting with someone in here *points to chest*. I am the person who can make myself feel better because I am the person who makes myself feel worse. And I don't need to get over him - I need to get over myself. I will not be eaten alive by this. I will not go back to where I was before. I refuse.