Unhappy...
Can I just say that I really fucking hate all of my friends. They all really suck some major dick, excuse my language. Yesterday was my last day of school. I didn't get not one congratulations. I thought graduating was like, a big deal, but apparently with me, it's really not. I'm so fucking depressed. Everyone in my graduating class has gotten their college acceptance letters, they all know where they are going, they all have help. I haven't even applied yet because I have no idea how and no one cares enough to help me. It sucks. I'm supposed to be thrilled to be out of high school and graduating but instead all I am is depressed and it sucks. I don't want to be depressed. I don't want to sit here crying. I want my boyfriend to hold me and cheer me up, I want my friends to give a shit, I want my mom to push me to apply to every college in the state of Connecticut. I want a lot and I'm getting none of it. I wish I at least knew why. I miss my father, I miss my little sister, I miss so many people, I miss Rob in a way, I miss Christina and Lizzie, I am so fucking sick and tired of missing people and things and feeling hopeless and lost and being pathetic like this. I just want everything to be okay. Nothing is falling into place, nothing is going right and noone even cares enough to hold me hand and dry my tears. Why is that? I thought I had people that were there for me, that care like I care about them. I had no fucking clue how wrong I was. No clue at all. And, needless to say, it fucking hurts.