The trick is to keep breathing.
Sometimes I wish the shit I did at work wasn't so sensitive so I could vent about it to people. I'm not moving nukalur missiles around or anything, but the most frustrating shit I deal with at the office is invariably the sort of shit no one outside the company can really hear about.
I took a look through the past few years on my livejournal today, and I have to say it was more than a little irritating to look at. I've been thinking alot about things like "why do people see me like that, that's really kind of unfair," and if that fucking blog is any sort of snapshot, I am honestly the most grossly ignorant person on the planet. I can't even turn a properly clever phrase when making fun of myself anymore.
If I could figure out where the tipping point was, I feel like I could do something about it, but I can't seem to find it. What did I change to mire myself in this situation where I constantly feel/appear irritated at everything going on around me. When did it stop being a punchline and start being the script? There's not one single thing, sure, but there's got to be some pattern or some... something. I dunno.
Private Practice still sucks balls. Srs. Kim and I watched it to catch all the Grey's shit and ended up fast forwarding through all the PP stuff. I mean, the shows in spirit seem virtually identical, but there's just this sort of self-awareness going on in Practice I can't get over. Like the actors all have this smug air about them, as if they're so convinced they're being so clever and hip with their shit. Assigning motives, sure.
I think I used to just be angry about certain things, and now I'm just mildly irritated at everything. That might be it.
She knows the human heart
And how to read the stars
Now everything's about to fall apart