I yet live!
It's kinda funny how stupid I can be. After moving to Austin, I had figured things would be interesting, that I would have metric shit tons of things to write about and tell people about and call people about and... derp. I guess not.
I had a presentation back in Kansas City a couple weeks back and I arranged to ambush my family at a pizza joint in Waldo. By the way right here I should make, as the kids say, a shout out to Marlena, who actually made all that shit possible. My family is pretty goddamned terrible at keeping secrets, so I'm glad my brother is importing someone that breaks that particular mold. So the humor here is I go through all of this to see people I haven't seen in six months and naturall I get asked "so what've you been up to?"
"Oh... nothin."
I guess it's sort've funny how far back I feel like I've stepped from my own life. Even the shit I do from day to day I just don't feel very involved with. I guess that's the only way to explain it really. I don't mean like I'm shrinking into a tiny person oh god save me or anything retarded like that. I just don't feel very... engrossed, I guess? It doesn't seem interesting on alot of levels. I still love my job, it gives me the sort of creative freedom I had always wanted. Alot of my hobby time is taken up by Warcraft still, but it's been much less stressful since I've taken a step back and quit trying to control every tiny detail of everything.
Writing is frustrating. I go back to what I was working on before the move and half the time I feel like someone else wrote it. I try to continue the book but something isn't meshing up. I talked to mom about it when I was in KC and she pointed out that I was writing when I was working at SBC and it provided a sort of desperate escape from the shithole that was that place. I guess the joking has some basis in fact - I get motivation from misery. I'm gonna try to get back to the book, but I'm not sure what'll happen with it now. It feels finished in my head, and it was easier to write when I felt like I was still planning it out. It almost feels like a chore on some levels: writing out what I've already gone through the work of figuring out.
I'm gonna try to get back to a dojo as well, but I'm not sure what the layout looks like here in Austin. Nikki goes to a nice school that she's really into, but I've never really meshed that well with Chinese philosophy. I have a feeling I wouldn't be as good as I used to at hiding my smirking and sneering at stuff that comes up that I don't agree with.
Anyway, I think that's enough rambling for now.
I had a presentation back in Kansas City a couple weeks back and I arranged to ambush my family at a pizza joint in Waldo. By the way right here I should make, as the kids say, a shout out to Marlena, who actually made all that shit possible. My family is pretty goddamned terrible at keeping secrets, so I'm glad my brother is importing someone that breaks that particular mold. So the humor here is I go through all of this to see people I haven't seen in six months and naturall I get asked "so what've you been up to?"
"Oh... nothin."
I guess it's sort've funny how far back I feel like I've stepped from my own life. Even the shit I do from day to day I just don't feel very involved with. I guess that's the only way to explain it really. I don't mean like I'm shrinking into a tiny person oh god save me or anything retarded like that. I just don't feel very... engrossed, I guess? It doesn't seem interesting on alot of levels. I still love my job, it gives me the sort of creative freedom I had always wanted. Alot of my hobby time is taken up by Warcraft still, but it's been much less stressful since I've taken a step back and quit trying to control every tiny detail of everything.
Writing is frustrating. I go back to what I was working on before the move and half the time I feel like someone else wrote it. I try to continue the book but something isn't meshing up. I talked to mom about it when I was in KC and she pointed out that I was writing when I was working at SBC and it provided a sort of desperate escape from the shithole that was that place. I guess the joking has some basis in fact - I get motivation from misery. I'm gonna try to get back to the book, but I'm not sure what'll happen with it now. It feels finished in my head, and it was easier to write when I felt like I was still planning it out. It almost feels like a chore on some levels: writing out what I've already gone through the work of figuring out.
I'm gonna try to get back to a dojo as well, but I'm not sure what the layout looks like here in Austin. Nikki goes to a nice school that she's really into, but I've never really meshed that well with Chinese philosophy. I have a feeling I wouldn't be as good as I used to at hiding my smirking and sneering at stuff that comes up that I don't agree with.
Anyway, I think that's enough rambling for now.