(no subject)
Hello trendy internet log, it's been awhile.
The past few months have been pretty good. Settled into a new job, got used to doing sales again, started keeping an actual regular exercise routine, all kinds of good shit. Of course, a week ago today that all went straight to bloody shit. Got kicked out of sales last Thursday night about 4:30, at the end of my shift, and told I would be reporting to the RMC the next day. No ifs/ands/butts. I can't describe the alternating stages of rage and disbelief I went through on my way home and the ensuing night. It still hasn't set in fully, and I guess that's a good thing since I filed a greivance with the Union and hopefully I'll be able to get the job back.
I've been off work for the past week as I try to "collect my shit" and "not kill some fuckers", but it's not working. I've been trying to get some work on my novel done as I have excessive amounts of time on my hands now, but instead I've been sitting alone in the apartment and dragging myself down into a funk. As stubborn as I am, I've decided that of course the best thing to do is just keep trying to write... and that has worked predictably "well". I've barely spat out a few thousand words of usable content, and now as the next Monday keeps drawing nearer the sense of dread is just building and building. I think the main problem I have with what's happened is that I feel like I've been fucked, yet again, by SBC and out of nowhere. The possibility of me ending up a paranoid old man is becoming more plausible, it seems.
The problem with the job is that I think about it too much, I guess. Every day I spend working for SBC is another day I'm not furthering a career I really want to have. I guess it would be better if I had some vague notion of "I don't want to do this thing I'm doing" but instead I know exactly what I want. Working at the RMC ground most of the energy out of me so that at the end of the day I was barely capable of keeping up with my AEG assignments. I blame myself 100% for not pushing myself to work on my novel once I got out of there, because I was in a better mood almost immediately. The idea that I'll be there once again Monday is such a looming threat of suffering it's making it hard to get on with alot of things. I mean, hopefully I get my old sales job back ... but I'm not so sure that's going to be how it works out. The job markey is just terrible enough that leaving SBC for a shitty-paying job and barely being able to afford my bills is about neck-and-neck with just staying at SBC.
Anyway, beyond that I guess things are going okay. I ... uh. Got a haircut. Third Edition is coming along swimmingly even though I'll probably have to swoop in and claw the eyes off some playtesters. Yah.
This whole venting thing wasn't as helpful as I'd hoped it'd be.
Anjin-san off.
The past few months have been pretty good. Settled into a new job, got used to doing sales again, started keeping an actual regular exercise routine, all kinds of good shit. Of course, a week ago today that all went straight to bloody shit. Got kicked out of sales last Thursday night about 4:30, at the end of my shift, and told I would be reporting to the RMC the next day. No ifs/ands/butts. I can't describe the alternating stages of rage and disbelief I went through on my way home and the ensuing night. It still hasn't set in fully, and I guess that's a good thing since I filed a greivance with the Union and hopefully I'll be able to get the job back.
I've been off work for the past week as I try to "collect my shit" and "not kill some fuckers", but it's not working. I've been trying to get some work on my novel done as I have excessive amounts of time on my hands now, but instead I've been sitting alone in the apartment and dragging myself down into a funk. As stubborn as I am, I've decided that of course the best thing to do is just keep trying to write... and that has worked predictably "well". I've barely spat out a few thousand words of usable content, and now as the next Monday keeps drawing nearer the sense of dread is just building and building. I think the main problem I have with what's happened is that I feel like I've been fucked, yet again, by SBC and out of nowhere. The possibility of me ending up a paranoid old man is becoming more plausible, it seems.
The problem with the job is that I think about it too much, I guess. Every day I spend working for SBC is another day I'm not furthering a career I really want to have. I guess it would be better if I had some vague notion of "I don't want to do this thing I'm doing" but instead I know exactly what I want. Working at the RMC ground most of the energy out of me so that at the end of the day I was barely capable of keeping up with my AEG assignments. I blame myself 100% for not pushing myself to work on my novel once I got out of there, because I was in a better mood almost immediately. The idea that I'll be there once again Monday is such a looming threat of suffering it's making it hard to get on with alot of things. I mean, hopefully I get my old sales job back ... but I'm not so sure that's going to be how it works out. The job markey is just terrible enough that leaving SBC for a shitty-paying job and barely being able to afford my bills is about neck-and-neck with just staying at SBC.
Anyway, beyond that I guess things are going okay. I ... uh. Got a haircut. Third Edition is coming along swimmingly even though I'll probably have to swoop in and claw the eyes off some playtesters. Yah.
This whole venting thing wasn't as helpful as I'd hoped it'd be.
Anjin-san off.