So damned retarded.

[judge]

It's days like this I think there's a vengeful and sarcastic God somewhere. After spending the day at work making fun of people with Jeremy, I managed to cut the lower right side of my tongue with a Dorito. Am I good or what, eh? Anyway, so right now I have to keep my tongue pressed against the roof of my mouth no matter what, or it rubs against my lower teeth and hurts like hell.

Naturally, when I try to talk, I sound like the biggest retard you are ever likely to meet. It's pretty fucking funny, except the exact opposite. I think I need to apply as a greeter for Wal-Mart or something now...

Anjin-san off.