I Wish
Title: I Wish
Characters: Jude/Max
Fandom: Across the Universe
Rating: PG-13
Table: 1
Prompt: 94. Silk Sheets
Author's Note: This is entirely a product of imagination, and I do not own Jude Feeny, Max Carrigan, or any of the other characters depicted in the film Across the Universe.
Dear Jude,
I spent last night dreaming about you. When I woke up this morning, lying there on the ground in a tent, wrapped up in a sleeping bag with a really flat pillow, that dream was so real that I almost thought I could reach out and touch you.
It only took me a few seconds to remember where I was, though. And then I got all depressed because I don't know how much longer I'm going to be here, or even if I'll ever make it back home to you and be able to touch you and hold you again.
I don't want to think like that. I want to keep the faith, and to be absolutely positive that I'll be with you one day. Right now, I'm just trying to live each day as it comes and take it one step at a time -- and hope that those steps lead me back home to you.
When I'm making my way through the jungles of this godforsaken place, I'm thinking about you. That's the only thing that keeps me from going insane, did you know that? Keeping you in my mind and in my heart and telling myself that you're still waiting for me.
I know you are. I know you're not the kind of guy who's going to find somebody else and forget about me just because I'm not there with you every second of every day. You're not an "out of sight, out of mind" kind of person. You never could be.
I'm not even sure why I'm saying that. I guess it's because there's a part of me that's terrified you will find somebody else, somebody who didn't have to go off and fight in this fucking war and who can be there for you whenever you need them.
I know you're not like that, Jude. I hope you can forgive me for having those doubts. But you don't know what it's like over here. You don't know what it's like to dream about everything you think you have at home that you'll be going back to, and not being sure if it'll still be there.
I know you'll be there. I know I don't have to be afraid of losing you. You promised me that you'd wait for me, and I believe you with all my heart. I have to hold on to that belief, or else I won't have anything to keep me going through all this.
I'm sitting here right now writing this, thinking of how you'll look when you're reading it. I'm imagining you naked, sitting up in bed, wearing nothing but the silk sheets on our bed wrapped around your body. If I close my eyes, I can see you lying there.
I wish I was there with you, baby. I wish I was those silk sheets, so close against your skin. I wish I could peel those sheets away from your body and look at you and whisper in your ear how beautiful you are and how much I love you.
I wish we could be together. I wish I was there with you more than I've ever wished for anything. I want us to be together, not thousands of miles apart writing letters to each other and wondering what our lives will be like once I make it out of this living hell.
We will be together again, Jude. Fate was fucking cruel to send me over here away from you, but I don't think it's going to be so cruel as to separate us for the rest of our lives. We were meant to be with each other. We're each only half a person when we're apart.
All I want to do right now is push all of this away from me, get on a plane and come back to you. Fuck this war, fuck the people who started it, and fuck being away from the one person who means everything in the world to me.
Those silk sheets that I know are twisted around your body when you sleep are something I can hardly even remember now. I have to struggle for the memory of what it feels like to sleep in a real bed, with your arms around me and your breathing the only sound I can hear.
But I try my best to hold on to those memories. I don't want to forget. I don't want to start feeling like this is the only world I know, because then I would give up on any hope of getting home to you and start to accept this as the only reality.
There's another reality back there at home. A reality where I wake up in the morning next to you, and fall asleep with you in my arms. A reality where I smile and laugh and I'm happy because I feel like I'm on top of the world when I'm with you.
I'm coming back to that reality. I'm not going to let it erode in my memory just because I was forced into this. Yeah, I'm serving my country and making the world safe. I can be proud of that. But that doesn't make up for being without you, Jude.
Nothing can make up for all this time away from you. I'm sorry this happened to us, baby. I'm sorry that I had the bad luck to get caught up in all this. You know I didn't want it. You know that I wanted to stay with you more than anything in the world.
I keep thinking that I'll get back and there won't be anything left. I worry that you'll get tired of waiting, and that you'll find somebody else who'll be better for you. But then I tell myself that I'm being stupid, and that I don't have any reason to worry so much.
You won't leave me, just like I won't leave you. We're meant for each other. We always have been. We both knew that on the night we met, the first time we looked at each other and smiled. And the first time we kissed, I knew that I belonged to you.
We'll be wrapped up in those silk sheets together one day, Jude. I hope it won't be too much longer before this damn war is over and I"m back with you. Just keep taking it one day at a time, just like I'm doing, and keep hoping that day will get here sooner than we think.
Love always,
Max
Characters: Jude/Max
Fandom: Across the Universe
Rating: PG-13
Table: 1
Prompt: 94. Silk Sheets
Author's Note: This is entirely a product of imagination, and I do not own Jude Feeny, Max Carrigan, or any of the other characters depicted in the film Across the Universe.
Dear Jude,
I spent last night dreaming about you. When I woke up this morning, lying there on the ground in a tent, wrapped up in a sleeping bag with a really flat pillow, that dream was so real that I almost thought I could reach out and touch you.
It only took me a few seconds to remember where I was, though. And then I got all depressed because I don't know how much longer I'm going to be here, or even if I'll ever make it back home to you and be able to touch you and hold you again.
I don't want to think like that. I want to keep the faith, and to be absolutely positive that I'll be with you one day. Right now, I'm just trying to live each day as it comes and take it one step at a time -- and hope that those steps lead me back home to you.
When I'm making my way through the jungles of this godforsaken place, I'm thinking about you. That's the only thing that keeps me from going insane, did you know that? Keeping you in my mind and in my heart and telling myself that you're still waiting for me.
I know you are. I know you're not the kind of guy who's going to find somebody else and forget about me just because I'm not there with you every second of every day. You're not an "out of sight, out of mind" kind of person. You never could be.
I'm not even sure why I'm saying that. I guess it's because there's a part of me that's terrified you will find somebody else, somebody who didn't have to go off and fight in this fucking war and who can be there for you whenever you need them.
I know you're not like that, Jude. I hope you can forgive me for having those doubts. But you don't know what it's like over here. You don't know what it's like to dream about everything you think you have at home that you'll be going back to, and not being sure if it'll still be there.
I know you'll be there. I know I don't have to be afraid of losing you. You promised me that you'd wait for me, and I believe you with all my heart. I have to hold on to that belief, or else I won't have anything to keep me going through all this.
I'm sitting here right now writing this, thinking of how you'll look when you're reading it. I'm imagining you naked, sitting up in bed, wearing nothing but the silk sheets on our bed wrapped around your body. If I close my eyes, I can see you lying there.
I wish I was there with you, baby. I wish I was those silk sheets, so close against your skin. I wish I could peel those sheets away from your body and look at you and whisper in your ear how beautiful you are and how much I love you.
I wish we could be together. I wish I was there with you more than I've ever wished for anything. I want us to be together, not thousands of miles apart writing letters to each other and wondering what our lives will be like once I make it out of this living hell.
We will be together again, Jude. Fate was fucking cruel to send me over here away from you, but I don't think it's going to be so cruel as to separate us for the rest of our lives. We were meant to be with each other. We're each only half a person when we're apart.
All I want to do right now is push all of this away from me, get on a plane and come back to you. Fuck this war, fuck the people who started it, and fuck being away from the one person who means everything in the world to me.
Those silk sheets that I know are twisted around your body when you sleep are something I can hardly even remember now. I have to struggle for the memory of what it feels like to sleep in a real bed, with your arms around me and your breathing the only sound I can hear.
But I try my best to hold on to those memories. I don't want to forget. I don't want to start feeling like this is the only world I know, because then I would give up on any hope of getting home to you and start to accept this as the only reality.
There's another reality back there at home. A reality where I wake up in the morning next to you, and fall asleep with you in my arms. A reality where I smile and laugh and I'm happy because I feel like I'm on top of the world when I'm with you.
I'm coming back to that reality. I'm not going to let it erode in my memory just because I was forced into this. Yeah, I'm serving my country and making the world safe. I can be proud of that. But that doesn't make up for being without you, Jude.
Nothing can make up for all this time away from you. I'm sorry this happened to us, baby. I'm sorry that I had the bad luck to get caught up in all this. You know I didn't want it. You know that I wanted to stay with you more than anything in the world.
I keep thinking that I'll get back and there won't be anything left. I worry that you'll get tired of waiting, and that you'll find somebody else who'll be better for you. But then I tell myself that I'm being stupid, and that I don't have any reason to worry so much.
You won't leave me, just like I won't leave you. We're meant for each other. We always have been. We both knew that on the night we met, the first time we looked at each other and smiled. And the first time we kissed, I knew that I belonged to you.
We'll be wrapped up in those silk sheets together one day, Jude. I hope it won't be too much longer before this damn war is over and I"m back with you. Just keep taking it one day at a time, just like I'm doing, and keep hoping that day will get here sooner than we think.
Love always,
Max