Days Three and Four
So i successfully made it through days three and four at work.
Day three was fine. The train was slow and super quiet so it wasn't hard at all to focus on NOT focusing on my hunger. As a matter of fact, i actually LIKED it when people came up and ordered a hotdog or a hamburger or a pizza. it smelled soooooo good. sure i wanted to eat it... like SO BAD. but at the same time i didn't want to eat it. it just looked so nasty. and the people who would come and get it would remind me why i shouldn't. "hi, can i have 3 hotdogs please? oh and a diet pepsi." sure you can mr 900 lb man who can hardly breathe. ew. But truly, i felt like a million dollars the whole day. My mind felt clear and i felt totally energetic. I was so glad i was doing it. But once i got to the hotel i was in hell. I just wanted to eat so bad. As a matter of fact, i put a chip in my mouth, chewed it, and spit it out. then i did it again. LOL. i felt so pathetic. but then i remembered, oh yeah, i haven't eaten in 3 days. so i don't feel so dumb anymore, at least i spit it out.
Day four was another story. To make a long story short, it was busy as hell. I was hungry and bitchy the whole time. Nothing made me feel better. I tried to breathe and focus but it was to busy and i was to hungry. For the most part i thought of the day as a pretty big failure. My goal was to remain normal even while fasting and at work. But i didn't. But to my credit... it was REALLY BUSY. as a matter of fact, i remitted the most money i EVER have at work. almost 1900 dollars. ew.
oh yeah. i had a couple good craps but nothing spectacular. not as much as i wanted. so since i'm off for the next two days i'm gonna laxitive tea it up. yum.
I must admit, peter is insturmental in this. Even when i feel like crap, i call him and he makes me feel better. everytime.
I'm having two cravings. One for tomato soup, which i never really cared for before. the other is for a toasted sandwich with lots of letuse and tomotoes. that's it. I don't know why. I just want it SOOOOO bad.
okay. LOVE YOU GIRLS.
Day three was fine. The train was slow and super quiet so it wasn't hard at all to focus on NOT focusing on my hunger. As a matter of fact, i actually LIKED it when people came up and ordered a hotdog or a hamburger or a pizza. it smelled soooooo good. sure i wanted to eat it... like SO BAD. but at the same time i didn't want to eat it. it just looked so nasty. and the people who would come and get it would remind me why i shouldn't. "hi, can i have 3 hotdogs please? oh and a diet pepsi." sure you can mr 900 lb man who can hardly breathe. ew. But truly, i felt like a million dollars the whole day. My mind felt clear and i felt totally energetic. I was so glad i was doing it. But once i got to the hotel i was in hell. I just wanted to eat so bad. As a matter of fact, i put a chip in my mouth, chewed it, and spit it out. then i did it again. LOL. i felt so pathetic. but then i remembered, oh yeah, i haven't eaten in 3 days. so i don't feel so dumb anymore, at least i spit it out.
Day four was another story. To make a long story short, it was busy as hell. I was hungry and bitchy the whole time. Nothing made me feel better. I tried to breathe and focus but it was to busy and i was to hungry. For the most part i thought of the day as a pretty big failure. My goal was to remain normal even while fasting and at work. But i didn't. But to my credit... it was REALLY BUSY. as a matter of fact, i remitted the most money i EVER have at work. almost 1900 dollars. ew.
oh yeah. i had a couple good craps but nothing spectacular. not as much as i wanted. so since i'm off for the next two days i'm gonna laxitive tea it up. yum.
I must admit, peter is insturmental in this. Even when i feel like crap, i call him and he makes me feel better. everytime.
I'm having two cravings. One for tomato soup, which i never really cared for before. the other is for a toasted sandwich with lots of letuse and tomotoes. that's it. I don't know why. I just want it SOOOOO bad.
okay. LOVE YOU GIRLS.