(no subject)
My God, I so hate my parents. I told my mother to stop yelling because she was, and I get in trouble for asking her to stop. Then she has to actually scream and I still get in trouble. I did not tell her in an authoritative voice and I asked her to leave because I was losing my voice trying to get her to understand that I was wrong, I feel as if I wasn’t but had to say it and everytime I talk to her I’m in the wrong. My father even told her that she doesn’t listen and hears stuff that isn’t going on, except maybe in her head. She denies it and says she has selective hearing. I know I do on certain stuff, we all do but still…none of us hear anything except her. So why are we always in the wrong and she always right? Why?
And people wonder why i’m not married or going out with anyone or outgoing. I think it’s because i’m afraid that when i get in an argument with someone i will be put down and won’t be able to defend myself.
I know there is someone out there for me but I’m scared to death that i’m never going to be ready and i’m always going to be so submissive and never able to stand up for myself. How do I get over that? How do I make myself like myself a lot more? How?