a freedom of souls
so this is it, everyone. my two years serving active duty in the u.s. air force is about to come to an end. inthis light, i've decided that this will be the last post of my journal.
i have gone through many changes, many places over the last two years. i look over all my posts and see the depths of my soul to which i've travelled. it has been quite a past two years, and in a few weeks, it will all be over and my vita nuova will begin.
perhaps it is not a coincidence that andy would get married just a few weeks prior and use the same quote to describe the life which he is beginning. his is much greater, i think, but mine is new nonetheless, and the largest change in life i have yet known in these short 23 years.
it is difficult to express the magnitude of this change to people, but it is there nonetheless. i feel it in the depths of who I am as a changing of winds, a shifting of tides. the seas of my soul have been out, and i feel the tide is beginning to turn. it is amazing, beautiful, powerful, and real. as real as the fact that my eyes can see, and my ears can hear. it is as real and true as the depths of the ocean and the vast expanse of the universe.
to tell truthfully, i have no idea of what will come for me. true, i have guesses, hopes, desires, and approximations...but no solid notion of the future. just whisps and approximate calculations.
but all is well. indeed, my heart cries out with joy in these last few weeks, though the stress is high with my CD and with the end of my time in the AF, moving to Dallas, and beginning to teach. my heart cries out from depths unknown, sings over the highest clouds with songs of praise, dances exuberantly throughout the mountains of europe and the canyons of arizona. my soul is watching the ropes fall off and the scars wear away. it knows the depths to which it has travelled, and it is thankful for them. it is thankful that it has seen the darkness, for it knows that somewhere, in the future, perhaps sooner rather than later, this will make the light shine all the more brightly throughout my life. and for this, and for the ability to know my self all the better through my dark times (though i fear darker will come throughout my life), I am thankful, and my soul is thankful.
so there it is.
i recently returned from andy's wedding in california, and it was one for the records. perhaps it is because his and my souls are similiar or simply because of the beauty of the day, but the love shown there...not only from the couple but throughout all the people present...blew me away. the symbology, prayers, and beconings, from Dante to John Paul II, took me closer to God in such a ceremony than I have been in a while.
it is dificult to be back in S.A., but i know i must go on, and life must continue.
for those who wish to continue hearing my thoughts and my music, i will continue a news journal of sorts on my website, www.johnslattery.com . i'll also be selling CDs in the very near future from the same place.
like i said, i will take this journal down very soon...before i leave san antonio. thanks so much for reading, praying, and honoring me with your thoughts, love and hope. God bless and I'll see you each soon.
i have gone through many changes, many places over the last two years. i look over all my posts and see the depths of my soul to which i've travelled. it has been quite a past two years, and in a few weeks, it will all be over and my vita nuova will begin.
perhaps it is not a coincidence that andy would get married just a few weeks prior and use the same quote to describe the life which he is beginning. his is much greater, i think, but mine is new nonetheless, and the largest change in life i have yet known in these short 23 years.
it is difficult to express the magnitude of this change to people, but it is there nonetheless. i feel it in the depths of who I am as a changing of winds, a shifting of tides. the seas of my soul have been out, and i feel the tide is beginning to turn. it is amazing, beautiful, powerful, and real. as real as the fact that my eyes can see, and my ears can hear. it is as real and true as the depths of the ocean and the vast expanse of the universe.
to tell truthfully, i have no idea of what will come for me. true, i have guesses, hopes, desires, and approximations...but no solid notion of the future. just whisps and approximate calculations.
but all is well. indeed, my heart cries out with joy in these last few weeks, though the stress is high with my CD and with the end of my time in the AF, moving to Dallas, and beginning to teach. my heart cries out from depths unknown, sings over the highest clouds with songs of praise, dances exuberantly throughout the mountains of europe and the canyons of arizona. my soul is watching the ropes fall off and the scars wear away. it knows the depths to which it has travelled, and it is thankful for them. it is thankful that it has seen the darkness, for it knows that somewhere, in the future, perhaps sooner rather than later, this will make the light shine all the more brightly throughout my life. and for this, and for the ability to know my self all the better through my dark times (though i fear darker will come throughout my life), I am thankful, and my soul is thankful.
so there it is.
i recently returned from andy's wedding in california, and it was one for the records. perhaps it is because his and my souls are similiar or simply because of the beauty of the day, but the love shown there...not only from the couple but throughout all the people present...blew me away. the symbology, prayers, and beconings, from Dante to John Paul II, took me closer to God in such a ceremony than I have been in a while.
it is dificult to be back in S.A., but i know i must go on, and life must continue.
for those who wish to continue hearing my thoughts and my music, i will continue a news journal of sorts on my website, www.johnslattery.com . i'll also be selling CDs in the very near future from the same place.
like i said, i will take this journal down very soon...before i leave san antonio. thanks so much for reading, praying, and honoring me with your thoughts, love and hope. God bless and I'll see you each soon.