may 28th
I'm not even going to attempt, in this small space, to explore the depths of my adventure in Europe the past two weeks, or my feelings now as I approach the last two months of my time in the Air Force. I will, however, present a few notable moments for you to reflect on...some of my best times in the islands of Europe:
*****as described to a friend over email***
-staying several days with an old roommate from Georgetown who I haven't seen in 3 years, and talking to him about politics, life around the world, and his last two years in the Peace Corps in Gabon, Africa.
-experiencing Shakespeare by seeing a play at the Globe Theatre in London, and then visiting his hometown of Stratford-upon-Avon and seeing a play there as well as many other adventures
-having lunch in the pub in Oxford, England where CS Lewis and Tolkien used to meet weekly with a few other authors
-seeing the sunrise in a small city called Malahide off the eastern beaches of Ireland. one of the most amazing sunrises I have ever seen...partially because of the beauty over the water, partially because i was standing on an empty beach early Sunday morning on the East Coast of Ireland. :)
-playing guitar at a small Irish pub in Galway (near the west coast of Ireland) with some other instruments. then drinking beer for a while as the main band played in this small pub. eventually, after little sleep the night before (note the sunrise) and several pints, I sang a rousing version of "House of the Rising Sun" as the band played the soulful song. many loud cheers. i think i developed a big fan of a dancing irish woman behind me, but she was a bit older (while quite beautiful) and i was a bit tired. :)
-standing on the edge of the Cliffs of Mohor on the west coast. i was only allowed to be there an hour or so because of the tour, but i could've stayed there days. they are alive with passion.
-kneeling, weeping, and praying for several hours before the shrine of Our Lady of Knock, an apparition of Mary and others in the small town of Knock, Ireland in 1879.
-a light rain and a beautiful rainbow directly over the basilica in Knock as I exited that intense time of prayer before the place where heaven touched earth, where all reason fails and my mind was split in two. where Dante's last lines of the Comedy rang true.
"then my mind was struck by light that flashed
and, with this light, received what it had asked.
Here force failed my high fantasy; but my
desire and will were moved already
like a wheel revolving uniformly
by the Love that moes the sun and the other stars."
-the next 24 hours of peace, reflection, and a deep sense that God was still there, still watching, still helping, still loving, though i do not understand, and i do not know the way.
i am truly moved, and i am truly changed. i tell people i "learned alot" on this trip. i walked tons, met many crazy people, had some crazy times, good food, rough times, tears, laughter, confusion, despair, doubt, dreams, and adventures. i learned that plans are meant to be changed, and that, from the small picture to the big picture, it is He who will direct our plans for the better. i don't understand it, but i believe it, somewhere, somehow.
on the way back home, a university student from Zimbabwe asked me how i would define a Christian. this was one of best questions i have had in a long time, and i thanked him for it. in the midst of so many denominations, strifes, disagreements, and nonsense these days, how do -i- define a christian? sheesh. i said i'd have to go from Jesus's two commandments, and say a Christian is one who loves. God, others, himself...but in the end, one who truly loves and defines everything he or she does by this sacrificing, unselfish, untiring love. this is the mystery of the cross, this is depth of our faith.
love has allowed me, so far in life, to mostly remain open to new ideas and new understandings. i have so much more appreciation and understanding (though i still have very little) for the cares and grievances of the world, and in particular the countries of africa. without love, i could see this and change, but i could not look back on those who think differently here in america and still love them as i did a month ago. with true love, i am always in conflict between following the ideas that i think are best, and catering to those good individuals who believe otherwise. with true love, i am forced to never settle by alienating entire classes, sections, or groups of individuals, no matter how much i do not agree with their beliefs. for love knows no bounds, and sacrifices itself for all people, indeed love would sacrifice itself for just one person, no matter how sinful he or she is. it is not the state that matters to love, it is the person. this is why Mother Theresa will become a Saint faster than John Paul II.
*****************
ok, perhaps I went in a bit deep there. for the best, right? one last thing i have learned on this trip, and that is time. i have always, i think, been afraid of time. never enjoyed heared the ticking of a clock, never wanted to hear the bells of the next hour go by. but as I sat on the train from Stratford to London late at night, something was revealed to me.
It is not the current time that matters, but that we have time at all.
Could we be forgiven without time? Could wounds be healed or sorrows end? Time is undefinable, yet so often we call it by its man-made names of seconds, minutes, hours, days. But these are mere place-markes in the infinite expanse of that which we cannot grasp and cannot bend to our will. I am thankful for time, and am beginning to embrace it for the life that it brings us. I would not exist without it.
that's enough for now. i may start writing less here, and focus on putting this in a book or something. not sure, but perhaps.
cheers, mate.
*****as described to a friend over email***
-staying several days with an old roommate from Georgetown who I haven't seen in 3 years, and talking to him about politics, life around the world, and his last two years in the Peace Corps in Gabon, Africa.
-experiencing Shakespeare by seeing a play at the Globe Theatre in London, and then visiting his hometown of Stratford-upon-Avon and seeing a play there as well as many other adventures
-having lunch in the pub in Oxford, England where CS Lewis and Tolkien used to meet weekly with a few other authors
-seeing the sunrise in a small city called Malahide off the eastern beaches of Ireland. one of the most amazing sunrises I have ever seen...partially because of the beauty over the water, partially because i was standing on an empty beach early Sunday morning on the East Coast of Ireland. :)
-playing guitar at a small Irish pub in Galway (near the west coast of Ireland) with some other instruments. then drinking beer for a while as the main band played in this small pub. eventually, after little sleep the night before (note the sunrise) and several pints, I sang a rousing version of "House of the Rising Sun" as the band played the soulful song. many loud cheers. i think i developed a big fan of a dancing irish woman behind me, but she was a bit older (while quite beautiful) and i was a bit tired. :)
-standing on the edge of the Cliffs of Mohor on the west coast. i was only allowed to be there an hour or so because of the tour, but i could've stayed there days. they are alive with passion.
-kneeling, weeping, and praying for several hours before the shrine of Our Lady of Knock, an apparition of Mary and others in the small town of Knock, Ireland in 1879.
-a light rain and a beautiful rainbow directly over the basilica in Knock as I exited that intense time of prayer before the place where heaven touched earth, where all reason fails and my mind was split in two. where Dante's last lines of the Comedy rang true.
"then my mind was struck by light that flashed
and, with this light, received what it had asked.
Here force failed my high fantasy; but my
desire and will were moved already
like a wheel revolving uniformly
by the Love that moes the sun and the other stars."
-the next 24 hours of peace, reflection, and a deep sense that God was still there, still watching, still helping, still loving, though i do not understand, and i do not know the way.
i am truly moved, and i am truly changed. i tell people i "learned alot" on this trip. i walked tons, met many crazy people, had some crazy times, good food, rough times, tears, laughter, confusion, despair, doubt, dreams, and adventures. i learned that plans are meant to be changed, and that, from the small picture to the big picture, it is He who will direct our plans for the better. i don't understand it, but i believe it, somewhere, somehow.
on the way back home, a university student from Zimbabwe asked me how i would define a Christian. this was one of best questions i have had in a long time, and i thanked him for it. in the midst of so many denominations, strifes, disagreements, and nonsense these days, how do -i- define a christian? sheesh. i said i'd have to go from Jesus's two commandments, and say a Christian is one who loves. God, others, himself...but in the end, one who truly loves and defines everything he or she does by this sacrificing, unselfish, untiring love. this is the mystery of the cross, this is depth of our faith.
love has allowed me, so far in life, to mostly remain open to new ideas and new understandings. i have so much more appreciation and understanding (though i still have very little) for the cares and grievances of the world, and in particular the countries of africa. without love, i could see this and change, but i could not look back on those who think differently here in america and still love them as i did a month ago. with true love, i am always in conflict between following the ideas that i think are best, and catering to those good individuals who believe otherwise. with true love, i am forced to never settle by alienating entire classes, sections, or groups of individuals, no matter how much i do not agree with their beliefs. for love knows no bounds, and sacrifices itself for all people, indeed love would sacrifice itself for just one person, no matter how sinful he or she is. it is not the state that matters to love, it is the person. this is why Mother Theresa will become a Saint faster than John Paul II.
*****************
ok, perhaps I went in a bit deep there. for the best, right? one last thing i have learned on this trip, and that is time. i have always, i think, been afraid of time. never enjoyed heared the ticking of a clock, never wanted to hear the bells of the next hour go by. but as I sat on the train from Stratford to London late at night, something was revealed to me.
It is not the current time that matters, but that we have time at all.
Could we be forgiven without time? Could wounds be healed or sorrows end? Time is undefinable, yet so often we call it by its man-made names of seconds, minutes, hours, days. But these are mere place-markes in the infinite expanse of that which we cannot grasp and cannot bend to our will. I am thankful for time, and am beginning to embrace it for the life that it brings us. I would not exist without it.
that's enough for now. i may start writing less here, and focus on putting this in a book or something. not sure, but perhaps.
cheers, mate.