Entry #96: If You Don't Vote For Me, You Are Retarded... (sorry, Alex)
This Entry Sponsored By: Holy Shit.
File that one under 'shit that I didn't expect'.
So life recently has been disjointed, hectic, and overall pretty chill. This entry should follow suit... by the bullets!
- First and foremost, the story of Tanner's prom date drama absolutely never fails to bring a smile to my face. I'll give you what I know the story as being, and then when I'm inevitably wrong somebody can come and fix it or something.
So Tanner and Lindsay were on-again off-again wack-ass couple that was together for the same reason most high school couples are together: quick sex and a shoulder to cry on. Naturally this is a relationship doomed to fail, and as such they have several blowups. Finally about a week ago, two weeks before prom, Lindsay says that it's over for real now. However, she still expects Tanner to take her to prom.
So Tanner strolls into physics Monday morning and winds up having a nice heart-to-heart with me and Alyssa, a conversation in which he brings up the fact that he has somebody else he can easily go to prom with and not have a shitty, drama-filled time with. Me being me, I tell him to drop Lindsay like she's hot and go with the other girl. Alyssa didn't actually give an opinion, but even if she did it wouldn't matter. (is he kidding?)
So Tuesday rolls around and Tanner's going to prom with Reagan and Lindsay has a prom dress and prom shoes and yet, no ticket to prom. I find this all to be wonderfully ironic and feel that it teaches a valuable lesson: For God's sakes, if you dump a person two weeks before prom, don't expect that person to take you to prom. I mean, common sense dude.
- On a similar prom-related note, after the Shania Twain incident I was to go with Holly. Then, depending on who you hear it from, either Buckley had a fit or Holly decided she didn't really want to go, leaving me dateless on Monday morning. Naturally I didn't find out until graphics, when Holly wrote me a note saying "I talked to Brooke..." Don't get me wrong, I like Brooke, but when I told my economics class I was planning on taking her every last one of them said "Don't fucking do it". So... no Brooke. Jess was working. I wasn't going to go stag, but things were looking that way when like an angel in American Eagle, Amber told me that Amanda would go with me. I'm psyched. If nothing else I'll have a chill time with Amanda without having to worry about any dumb drama, so I'll have fun.
- I'm having girl troubles. This shouldn't be a surprise to anybody. There's three girls, currently, each of whom will be referred to by witty pseudonyms.
Shania Twain is driving me insane. She's still cute and still seems to have an electric personality. You can see how this could work to my benefit, right? Well... eh. I guess the easy explanation is "I have no balls". Because after working up the nut to ask her to prom and getting smacked down, I'm now stuck at crossroads. I can ask her to hang sometime, but if she can smack me down once there's no reason for her to be shy and try and spare my feelings. On the other hand, I can ask her to hang sometime and she can fall in love with me and we'll neck til the break of dawn. So really, it's a risk v. reward situation, and I'm trying to decide if the risk is worth the reward. Stay tuned.
Buck Nasty is driving me insane. She's clingy and not really sexy but talks like she puts out. You can see how this could work to my benefit, right? The problem is that she has a boyfriend. Actually, that's not the problem. The problem is that my sources have told me that said boyfriend does not exist and is in fact a figment of her imagination. I can see how this is a possibility, and how she's using this invisible boyfriend to avoid dates with less attractive people, but at the same time she's never actually talked about having a boyfriend to me. She discusses him with other guys but... never me. What do I do? Stay tuned.
Tequila Sunrise is driving me insane. This one is probably the funniest. She's uh... well, she's in eighth grade, wears ridiculously padded bras that make her look sexy, and she talks like she puts out. Furthermore, Tanner and I have been talking about corrupting her and the rest of her friends over the past week or so. You can see how this could work to my benefit, right? The problem is that I'm not sure if I want to chase a fucking eighth grader. Getting her would be easy enough, but dude... eighth grade, man. It's a stressful position to be in. Again, it's risk v. reward. I'm risking my social status, my dignity, possibly even my faith in the human race... but the reward is obvious. Who knows. I gave her a ride to the park and she said, direct quote, "Like, thanks for giving me a riiiiiide..." Were we that forward with our sexuality in eighth grade? Stay tuned.
Anyway... that's about it. I've been self-censoring my journal a bit lately because I know a lot of people read it, so if you want to hear director's cuts of any of these stories, hit me up on AIM (hollywoodmcfly) or cell me (603-991-3763). I love to tell a good story.
- Joseph H.
File that one under 'shit that I didn't expect'.
So life recently has been disjointed, hectic, and overall pretty chill. This entry should follow suit... by the bullets!
- First and foremost, the story of Tanner's prom date drama absolutely never fails to bring a smile to my face. I'll give you what I know the story as being, and then when I'm inevitably wrong somebody can come and fix it or something.
So Tanner and Lindsay were on-again off-again wack-ass couple that was together for the same reason most high school couples are together: quick sex and a shoulder to cry on. Naturally this is a relationship doomed to fail, and as such they have several blowups. Finally about a week ago, two weeks before prom, Lindsay says that it's over for real now. However, she still expects Tanner to take her to prom.
So Tanner strolls into physics Monday morning and winds up having a nice heart-to-heart with me and Alyssa, a conversation in which he brings up the fact that he has somebody else he can easily go to prom with and not have a shitty, drama-filled time with. Me being me, I tell him to drop Lindsay like she's hot and go with the other girl. Alyssa didn't actually give an opinion, but even if she did it wouldn't matter. (is he kidding?)
So Tuesday rolls around and Tanner's going to prom with Reagan and Lindsay has a prom dress and prom shoes and yet, no ticket to prom. I find this all to be wonderfully ironic and feel that it teaches a valuable lesson: For God's sakes, if you dump a person two weeks before prom, don't expect that person to take you to prom. I mean, common sense dude.
- On a similar prom-related note, after the Shania Twain incident I was to go with Holly. Then, depending on who you hear it from, either Buckley had a fit or Holly decided she didn't really want to go, leaving me dateless on Monday morning. Naturally I didn't find out until graphics, when Holly wrote me a note saying "I talked to Brooke..." Don't get me wrong, I like Brooke, but when I told my economics class I was planning on taking her every last one of them said "Don't fucking do it". So... no Brooke. Jess was working. I wasn't going to go stag, but things were looking that way when like an angel in American Eagle, Amber told me that Amanda would go with me. I'm psyched. If nothing else I'll have a chill time with Amanda without having to worry about any dumb drama, so I'll have fun.
- I'm having girl troubles. This shouldn't be a surprise to anybody. There's three girls, currently, each of whom will be referred to by witty pseudonyms.
Shania Twain is driving me insane. She's still cute and still seems to have an electric personality. You can see how this could work to my benefit, right? Well... eh. I guess the easy explanation is "I have no balls". Because after working up the nut to ask her to prom and getting smacked down, I'm now stuck at crossroads. I can ask her to hang sometime, but if she can smack me down once there's no reason for her to be shy and try and spare my feelings. On the other hand, I can ask her to hang sometime and she can fall in love with me and we'll neck til the break of dawn. So really, it's a risk v. reward situation, and I'm trying to decide if the risk is worth the reward. Stay tuned.
Buck Nasty is driving me insane. She's clingy and not really sexy but talks like she puts out. You can see how this could work to my benefit, right? The problem is that she has a boyfriend. Actually, that's not the problem. The problem is that my sources have told me that said boyfriend does not exist and is in fact a figment of her imagination. I can see how this is a possibility, and how she's using this invisible boyfriend to avoid dates with less attractive people, but at the same time she's never actually talked about having a boyfriend to me. She discusses him with other guys but... never me. What do I do? Stay tuned.
Tequila Sunrise is driving me insane. This one is probably the funniest. She's uh... well, she's in eighth grade, wears ridiculously padded bras that make her look sexy, and she talks like she puts out. Furthermore, Tanner and I have been talking about corrupting her and the rest of her friends over the past week or so. You can see how this could work to my benefit, right? The problem is that I'm not sure if I want to chase a fucking eighth grader. Getting her would be easy enough, but dude... eighth grade, man. It's a stressful position to be in. Again, it's risk v. reward. I'm risking my social status, my dignity, possibly even my faith in the human race... but the reward is obvious. Who knows. I gave her a ride to the park and she said, direct quote, "Like, thanks for giving me a riiiiiide..." Were we that forward with our sexuality in eighth grade? Stay tuned.
Anyway... that's about it. I've been self-censoring my journal a bit lately because I know a lot of people read it, so if you want to hear director's cuts of any of these stories, hit me up on AIM (hollywoodmcfly) or cell me (603-991-3763). I love to tell a good story.
- Joseph H.