(no subject)
OK. Heeere we go. I should really be doing my hw. But i need to get stuff off my chest.
From the passover seder saturday, i forgot to mention something.
Whenever we have dinners with my grandfather, he gives us comics from the New Yorker magazine. They almost always have something to do with us. For instance, i always get something related to music, ben might often get a science geek related one, and mike, something to do with immaturity. Well this seder of course was no different. I did expect to get another music related one. Did I? not this time. This time it presented a young boy giving his father his report card. The caption read, "I don't need good grades because I can always hire smart people to work for me." WHAT THE HELL IS HE TRYING TO SAY HERE? OK, I'm not as smart as my brother, but i get good grades. Have my grades been top notch? Not at all... but they're nowhere near bad. My grandfather has to be implying that he's not happy with my grades. he's afraid that I will go on the path of my oldest cousins (not that there's anything remotely wrong with that, but since that road won't make me rich or famous, it's not approved) and quite frankly, he has nothing to be afraid of. If he's alive to see me work, it WON'T be like them. I have no problem with their path, but it won't be mine. But here he comes, practically telling me to my face that my grades aren't good enough for his standards, jesus fucking christ. That pissed me off.
However, that segues well into my next point. My grades haven't been amazing this year... but I'm falling into the same slump I fell in last year towards the end. My last report card last year was terrible, and I'm falling into that same slump, and I can't stop. It's kinda funny that I complain about my grandfather not liking my grades when, quite honestly, I'm just as concerned as he is. But my grades have just been... slumping. This is the first quarter that i'm actually getting consistent b's in math. we had a test in french and i got an 84. in english i got a B on an essay, didn't turn in a small thing, and got a 17/20 on a response. In history... i've gotten one grade, so it's hard to judge, but i've missed 3 homework assignments out of maybe 6 (tho on those that i turned in, i got good marks). Luckily he forgot to check hw today. In science... oh boy. We've had 4 labs and how many have I turned in? None. Zero. Not that I'll get points off (damn Raso with his no due dates! You'd think that'd be great but... look where it got me). This is just not good. This is awful. This is just wrong.
I used to be such an enthusiastic student. In like, elementary school. And then I started at Poly where my grades weren't terrific, and Ben's were, and I transformed into a pretty-smart-but-not-thaaat-smart kid and my attitude has changed. I've started to slack off and now, I'm procrastinating. i haven't done any hw yet (math and 2 history assignments) and I just don't know what to do with myself. My sleeping habits have been awful. I've been going to sleep at 1:30 it seems every night and I have NO reason to. I really don't. I'm not doing hw that late, I'm just, not going to bed. I can't get over this. I wasn't tired today, but it's having some effect on me...
If you didn't remember, I still play the violin. Well, the fingerboard actually came off the violin a couple weeks ago and months ago the bow fell apart. I've been playing off of borrowed cheap violins and a borrowed bow. I need to get it fixed, but there's been no time and my parents keep forgetting to make the call (I'm terrified of making calls). I've felt SO guilty about this it's nuts. I hope it'll get done this week, but I'm not too sure. I just can't keep walking into my violin lessons with a borrowed violin- it's just wrong.
I'm really bad at tennis. In JV tennis i get extremely frustrated but in the midst of everything, I've been able to just keep that off my shoulders. I would be gone from it but I have other reasons tying me down. But it isn't thaat terrible playing with the other terrible kids. Just as long as I keep an eye out for who's watching...
Kayla Raff is a dirty whore. About a month ago I found out she was talking REALLY horribly behind my back. But it's not only that... it's that I trusted with her with ALL of my innermost private secrets. It all started a while ago when she told me of some problems of hers. i decided i could therefore trust her with some of mine, but i may have gone overboard. But she would listen, and she would encourage me. She said she would always be there to listen. And there she goes... yappin away to onah about how I'm some gross loser. And I wouldn't mind that she called me that if she didn't let me tell her everything! That's.. dirty! and she's so NICE to me in person. I hate it. I really wanna talk to her about it, but I can't sell onah out.
Not to mention, 3 months away from gen is coming around.
shoot me.
Update: OK so I think there wasn't actually homework due today. I think the person who told me was lying... and lmao guess who told me... *cough*dirty whore*cough*
From the passover seder saturday, i forgot to mention something.
Whenever we have dinners with my grandfather, he gives us comics from the New Yorker magazine. They almost always have something to do with us. For instance, i always get something related to music, ben might often get a science geek related one, and mike, something to do with immaturity. Well this seder of course was no different. I did expect to get another music related one. Did I? not this time. This time it presented a young boy giving his father his report card. The caption read, "I don't need good grades because I can always hire smart people to work for me." WHAT THE HELL IS HE TRYING TO SAY HERE? OK, I'm not as smart as my brother, but i get good grades. Have my grades been top notch? Not at all... but they're nowhere near bad. My grandfather has to be implying that he's not happy with my grades. he's afraid that I will go on the path of my oldest cousins (not that there's anything remotely wrong with that, but since that road won't make me rich or famous, it's not approved) and quite frankly, he has nothing to be afraid of. If he's alive to see me work, it WON'T be like them. I have no problem with their path, but it won't be mine. But here he comes, practically telling me to my face that my grades aren't good enough for his standards, jesus fucking christ. That pissed me off.
However, that segues well into my next point. My grades haven't been amazing this year... but I'm falling into the same slump I fell in last year towards the end. My last report card last year was terrible, and I'm falling into that same slump, and I can't stop. It's kinda funny that I complain about my grandfather not liking my grades when, quite honestly, I'm just as concerned as he is. But my grades have just been... slumping. This is the first quarter that i'm actually getting consistent b's in math. we had a test in french and i got an 84. in english i got a B on an essay, didn't turn in a small thing, and got a 17/20 on a response. In history... i've gotten one grade, so it's hard to judge, but i've missed 3 homework assignments out of maybe 6 (tho on those that i turned in, i got good marks). Luckily he forgot to check hw today. In science... oh boy. We've had 4 labs and how many have I turned in? None. Zero. Not that I'll get points off (damn Raso with his no due dates! You'd think that'd be great but... look where it got me). This is just not good. This is awful. This is just wrong.
I used to be such an enthusiastic student. In like, elementary school. And then I started at Poly where my grades weren't terrific, and Ben's were, and I transformed into a pretty-smart-but-not-thaaat-smart kid and my attitude has changed. I've started to slack off and now, I'm procrastinating. i haven't done any hw yet (math and 2 history assignments) and I just don't know what to do with myself. My sleeping habits have been awful. I've been going to sleep at 1:30 it seems every night and I have NO reason to. I really don't. I'm not doing hw that late, I'm just, not going to bed. I can't get over this. I wasn't tired today, but it's having some effect on me...
If you didn't remember, I still play the violin. Well, the fingerboard actually came off the violin a couple weeks ago and months ago the bow fell apart. I've been playing off of borrowed cheap violins and a borrowed bow. I need to get it fixed, but there's been no time and my parents keep forgetting to make the call (I'm terrified of making calls). I've felt SO guilty about this it's nuts. I hope it'll get done this week, but I'm not too sure. I just can't keep walking into my violin lessons with a borrowed violin- it's just wrong.
I'm really bad at tennis. In JV tennis i get extremely frustrated but in the midst of everything, I've been able to just keep that off my shoulders. I would be gone from it but I have other reasons tying me down. But it isn't thaat terrible playing with the other terrible kids. Just as long as I keep an eye out for who's watching...
Kayla Raff is a dirty whore. About a month ago I found out she was talking REALLY horribly behind my back. But it's not only that... it's that I trusted with her with ALL of my innermost private secrets. It all started a while ago when she told me of some problems of hers. i decided i could therefore trust her with some of mine, but i may have gone overboard. But she would listen, and she would encourage me. She said she would always be there to listen. And there she goes... yappin away to onah about how I'm some gross loser. And I wouldn't mind that she called me that if she didn't let me tell her everything! That's.. dirty! and she's so NICE to me in person. I hate it. I really wanna talk to her about it, but I can't sell onah out.
Not to mention, 3 months away from gen is coming around.
shoot me.
Update: OK so I think there wasn't actually homework due today. I think the person who told me was lying... and lmao guess who told me... *cough*dirty whore*cough*