Message Board Morons
Message Board Morons (MBMs) . . . you know the type. They’re the self-proclaimed experts with sub-60 IQs who flock to Internet forums to spread their ignorance. They’ll tell you 2+2=7 and forget the evidence that says otherwise. And don’t expect them to open a book to check their facts, because they a) believe in the hooey they post with religious fanaticism, and b) don’t know how to read anyway.
Understandably, many people are annoyed by MBMs, but I don’t mind ‘em at all. In fact, to borrow from Gen. G. Patton, "I love the bastards." Let’s face it, natural born morons are funny, even more so when they congregate into cabals of mental minimalism. No matter what subject they discuss, odds are it’s going to make you laugh.
As luck would have it, I stumbled across just such an online meeting last week via google. The site was one for console and computer games but I forgot to bookmark it and can't find it again currently... will keep looking though. Regardless this place is truely a Mecca for morons if ever there was one, and as luck would also have it, the subject of the thread was one of my favorites, the Cthulhu mythos.
Luckily though, I managed to copy my favorite quotes from this priceless thread:
“Cthuhlu isn't exactly a god though. He's an alien whos incredible technology makes him seem godlike.”
“Lovecraft didn't write about supernatural entities he wrote about aliens with advanced technology.”
“Cthulhu is a god.”
“wasn't the Necronomicon used to conjure up the dead? IMO, this is pretty much occult to me.”
“the outer gods are extradimension cosmic forces, and cthulhu/dagon/others are merely advanced beings with psionics”
“I read the necronomicon when i was a kid, and it was definitely about the occult, if i recall right”
“Did [the Necronomicon] make anyone else hallucinate? i had to get rid of the book it scared me so bad. Of course back then i was into the occult because it was the cool thing to do until i got scared enough to run like hell from it.”
“yes the necronomicon was written by h.p.l. and the elder god are benovelent gods.”
“I thought the Necronomicon was written Abdul Alhazred in Demascus around the year 500.”
“I never considered the mythos to be alien, more extradimensional.”
“To those saying the necronomicon isn't real, you do know that there is solid proof that necromantric beliefs and texts existed as far back as sumerian times correct? Lovecraft didn't invent Cthulhu or the Necronomicon. He just used their mythos and made his own sourced version of them. Both were already in tact before he was even born. As a neo-necromantric practicer myself I have to stress the point. Call me a nut job or whatever you wish too, but the truth is the truth.”
DOH!
This is like listening to Bill Clinton, Michael Jackson and John Wayne Gayce discuss morals and proper sexual conduct. You couldn’t make this stuff up if you washed down a handful of stupid pills with a bottle of doof juice. Such profound ignorance has to occur naturally.
So what have we learned from the MBMs? We’ve learned that-despite what Lovecraft wrote--Cthulhu may be a god, or he just seems godlike because of his nifty gadgetry. We’ve learned that aliens are no longer supernatural, and extradimensional entities are no longer alien. The Necronomicon was either written or copied by Lovecraft, and it makes you hallucinate when reading it. Great Old Ones possess mental powers detailed in a Dungeons & Dragons rulebook, and raising the dead is considered by some to be an occult activity. Finally, neo-necromantric practicers (a.k.a. emo/goth/poser/nerds) have no grasp of reality.
Love ‘em or hate ‘em, you gotta admit that MBMs have their charming moments . . . despite what their SAT scores may indicate.
Understandably, many people are annoyed by MBMs, but I don’t mind ‘em at all. In fact, to borrow from Gen. G. Patton, "I love the bastards." Let’s face it, natural born morons are funny, even more so when they congregate into cabals of mental minimalism. No matter what subject they discuss, odds are it’s going to make you laugh.
As luck would have it, I stumbled across just such an online meeting last week via google. The site was one for console and computer games but I forgot to bookmark it and can't find it again currently... will keep looking though. Regardless this place is truely a Mecca for morons if ever there was one, and as luck would also have it, the subject of the thread was one of my favorites, the Cthulhu mythos.
Luckily though, I managed to copy my favorite quotes from this priceless thread:
“Cthuhlu isn't exactly a god though. He's an alien whos incredible technology makes him seem godlike.”
“Lovecraft didn't write about supernatural entities he wrote about aliens with advanced technology.”
“Cthulhu is a god.”
“wasn't the Necronomicon used to conjure up the dead? IMO, this is pretty much occult to me.”
“the outer gods are extradimension cosmic forces, and cthulhu/dagon/others are merely advanced beings with psionics”
“I read the necronomicon when i was a kid, and it was definitely about the occult, if i recall right”
“Did [the Necronomicon] make anyone else hallucinate? i had to get rid of the book it scared me so bad. Of course back then i was into the occult because it was the cool thing to do until i got scared enough to run like hell from it.”
“yes the necronomicon was written by h.p.l. and the elder god are benovelent gods.”
“I thought the Necronomicon was written Abdul Alhazred in Demascus around the year 500.”
“I never considered the mythos to be alien, more extradimensional.”
“To those saying the necronomicon isn't real, you do know that there is solid proof that necromantric beliefs and texts existed as far back as sumerian times correct? Lovecraft didn't invent Cthulhu or the Necronomicon. He just used their mythos and made his own sourced version of them. Both were already in tact before he was even born. As a neo-necromantric practicer myself I have to stress the point. Call me a nut job or whatever you wish too, but the truth is the truth.”
DOH!
This is like listening to Bill Clinton, Michael Jackson and John Wayne Gayce discuss morals and proper sexual conduct. You couldn’t make this stuff up if you washed down a handful of stupid pills with a bottle of doof juice. Such profound ignorance has to occur naturally.
So what have we learned from the MBMs? We’ve learned that-despite what Lovecraft wrote--Cthulhu may be a god, or he just seems godlike because of his nifty gadgetry. We’ve learned that aliens are no longer supernatural, and extradimensional entities are no longer alien. The Necronomicon was either written or copied by Lovecraft, and it makes you hallucinate when reading it. Great Old Ones possess mental powers detailed in a Dungeons & Dragons rulebook, and raising the dead is considered by some to be an occult activity. Finally, neo-necromantric practicers (a.k.a. emo/goth/poser/nerds) have no grasp of reality.
Love ‘em or hate ‘em, you gotta admit that MBMs have their charming moments . . . despite what their SAT scores may indicate.