The (C)hicago (D)ating (C)lub
Hello to any and all,
Last night I was hanging out with a group of friends and we were talking about "dating." Not "dating" as in the relationship sense of the word, but "dating" as in going on dates, being taken out, taking someone out, "dating." At some point during this conversation an idea (that may be a good idea or a bad idea) began to take form from our conversation. At the moment, it's just an idea. There are good points and bad points and prolly some stuff that makes absolutely no sense. So I thought asking some friends, with whom I have had similar conversations, what they thought of the basic premise, and how we might further fine tune some of our suggested specifics, might help us to flesh out the logistics of our proposed CDC. I am really asking for thoughts, comments and suggestions. Please point out the gaping holes in our proposal.
(C)hicago (D)ating (C)lub
The basic premise of the CDC is that not enough people go on "real" dates anymore. (Perhaps, more true is that we - our lame friends - don't go on real dates any more. You know where someone buys someone flowers and picks them up and takes them on a date. We came up with a bunch of specifics about how to make this a safe and comfortable experience for all parties involved. (Currently the all of the wording of this sucks - but I was just trying to get the ideas out of my head and onto paper.)
(1) One of the primary goals of the CDC is not to go on a date with the intent of getting in anyone's pants. That's so not the point! In fact, if you go on a date with the intent of getting in someone's pants the other person has the right to call "shenanigans" (or play the "Winnebago" card) and end the date immediately.
If one member of the date feels that the other member is being manipulative about trying to make the date about getting laid - that individual has every right to put a stop to the date IMMEDIATELY. The person who feels that he (or she) is being jockeyed (or pushed) toward doing the nasty, can (a) inform the other person that they are being made to feel uncomfortable (by the other person) or (b) simply walk out.
The purpose of the CDC is not to get anyone laid. The purpose of the CDC is to re-introduce the fine art of dating as well as learning how to be taken on a date.
(2) If someone takes you on a date you are obligated to take someone else (another member of the CDC) on a date within 14 days. You are not allowed to just be the object of everyone's affections. You must put some energy and creativity and effort, into dating.
(3) A date is not always (or ever) about money. There are no limits or requirements on what constitutes a date. (a) The Asker should have a plan, and put thought into the date. (b) The Asker should pay for the date. This is not about going "Dutch", or about hanging out with friends. It's about going out on a date.(c) I suppose this is either a caveat or a reminder - not so much a rule - If a person is taking you out on a date, somewhere inside of yourself please acknowledge that some other human being with feelings has gone to some effort to take you out on a date. Don't be cruel. Don't be mean. If you really have no desire to go on a date with that person - even knowing that, per the rules of the CDC, they are not going to try and get in your pants - ***** you should probably refuse the date ***** (Examine this section of the rules, because we started by saying that no one could refuse a date, if asked. That got amended to "you have to accept the first two dates, beyond that you should go out if you want to, but you are under no obligation to go.)
(4) You have to accept to (at least) the first two dates that you get asked on.
(5) Posting to the Yahoogroup about how your date went is completely acceptable. Feel free to "Brag" or "Rag" in this public CDC forum. Please know that it will be expected. However, the "Brag and Rag" is not the forum in which two folk fight with each other. If y'all have problems, handle them like adults - or at least have the courtesy and respect for all of us to do it in the privacy of your own private media utilities.
(6) Put some effort into your dates. There are so many entertaining things to do in this city - and there are list upon list of entertaining things to do in this city found in free paper and on line - that a lame date is a completely acceptable subject about which someone may choose to "Rag."
(7) Standing someone up - "No call/No Show" - will get you distinctly uninvited from the Chicago Dating Club.
(8) Once a month we will find a bar, or some other public space, and host a "Meet and Greet"/"Mixer" so that folks can meet and exchange e-mails with folks that they might consider going on a date with. If you come to the mixer, please bring someone who is not a member of the CDC, who might find re-finding the fine art of dating enjoyable.
-- So, these were some of the things that were discussed last evening. As this idea is on just now in the process of forming I thought I would ask my friends to comment on what exists, what needs to be changed, and what we haven't thought of.
Comments? Questions? Suggestions?
Last night I was hanging out with a group of friends and we were talking about "dating." Not "dating" as in the relationship sense of the word, but "dating" as in going on dates, being taken out, taking someone out, "dating." At some point during this conversation an idea (that may be a good idea or a bad idea) began to take form from our conversation. At the moment, it's just an idea. There are good points and bad points and prolly some stuff that makes absolutely no sense. So I thought asking some friends, with whom I have had similar conversations, what they thought of the basic premise, and how we might further fine tune some of our suggested specifics, might help us to flesh out the logistics of our proposed CDC. I am really asking for thoughts, comments and suggestions. Please point out the gaping holes in our proposal.
(C)hicago (D)ating (C)lub
The basic premise of the CDC is that not enough people go on "real" dates anymore. (Perhaps, more true is that we - our lame friends - don't go on real dates any more. You know where someone buys someone flowers and picks them up and takes them on a date. We came up with a bunch of specifics about how to make this a safe and comfortable experience for all parties involved. (Currently the all of the wording of this sucks - but I was just trying to get the ideas out of my head and onto paper.)
(1) One of the primary goals of the CDC is not to go on a date with the intent of getting in anyone's pants. That's so not the point! In fact, if you go on a date with the intent of getting in someone's pants the other person has the right to call "shenanigans" (or play the "Winnebago" card) and end the date immediately.
If one member of the date feels that the other member is being manipulative about trying to make the date about getting laid - that individual has every right to put a stop to the date IMMEDIATELY. The person who feels that he (or she) is being jockeyed (or pushed) toward doing the nasty, can (a) inform the other person that they are being made to feel uncomfortable (by the other person) or (b) simply walk out.
The purpose of the CDC is not to get anyone laid. The purpose of the CDC is to re-introduce the fine art of dating as well as learning how to be taken on a date.
(2) If someone takes you on a date you are obligated to take someone else (another member of the CDC) on a date within 14 days. You are not allowed to just be the object of everyone's affections. You must put some energy and creativity and effort, into dating.
(3) A date is not always (or ever) about money. There are no limits or requirements on what constitutes a date. (a) The Asker should have a plan, and put thought into the date. (b) The Asker should pay for the date. This is not about going "Dutch", or about hanging out with friends. It's about going out on a date.(c) I suppose this is either a caveat or a reminder - not so much a rule - If a person is taking you out on a date, somewhere inside of yourself please acknowledge that some other human being with feelings has gone to some effort to take you out on a date. Don't be cruel. Don't be mean. If you really have no desire to go on a date with that person - even knowing that, per the rules of the CDC, they are not going to try and get in your pants - ***** you should probably refuse the date ***** (Examine this section of the rules, because we started by saying that no one could refuse a date, if asked. That got amended to "you have to accept the first two dates, beyond that you should go out if you want to, but you are under no obligation to go.)
(4) You have to accept to (at least) the first two dates that you get asked on.
(5) Posting to the Yahoogroup about how your date went is completely acceptable. Feel free to "Brag" or "Rag" in this public CDC forum. Please know that it will be expected. However, the "Brag and Rag" is not the forum in which two folk fight with each other. If y'all have problems, handle them like adults - or at least have the courtesy and respect for all of us to do it in the privacy of your own private media utilities.
(6) Put some effort into your dates. There are so many entertaining things to do in this city - and there are list upon list of entertaining things to do in this city found in free paper and on line - that a lame date is a completely acceptable subject about which someone may choose to "Rag."
(7) Standing someone up - "No call/No Show" - will get you distinctly uninvited from the Chicago Dating Club.
(8) Once a month we will find a bar, or some other public space, and host a "Meet and Greet"/"Mixer" so that folks can meet and exchange e-mails with folks that they might consider going on a date with. If you come to the mixer, please bring someone who is not a member of the CDC, who might find re-finding the fine art of dating enjoyable.
-- So, these were some of the things that were discussed last evening. As this idea is on just now in the process of forming I thought I would ask my friends to comment on what exists, what needs to be changed, and what we haven't thought of.
Comments? Questions? Suggestions?