Change
It's been awhile. I hardly write anymore. I still read others' posts regularly...always checking at least once a day for any updates.
As for me, life is changing. A chapter 2 years in the making is rapidly coming to an end. I had to make great sacrifices to come here, to follow my dream. And I may have made one or two mistakes along the way that cost me dearly.
But here I am. Two years later. A Master of Archaeology (with Honors), more traveled, more cultured, more knowledgeable, more experienced. New friendships, old friendships still strong, and old ones that have waned. So much is different, and here I sit in my room--half empty, half a mess of things scattered about the floor waiting for their ultimate destiny in the bin or at a charity shop--on the verge of another change. I like to tell myself it will simply be going back to the way things were. But will it? I think that's a very optimistic view. I doubt anything in life will ever be the same. Only time will tell. Will I love being home? Will I forget about my desire to come back? Or will I only yearn for the great London--despise my life in America because it was forced upon me when I wasn't completely ready? Only time can tell.
To be honest, I'm terrified, excited, and sad all at once. i'm afraid of what the future there--"home"--holds for me. I am terrified because I hate change. I have so much here, and to move again is no easy task. I'm terrified I'll go and never return or I'll go and I'll hate it or I'll love it and I'll forget all that I have here and that is scary. I'm excited to be back and not have to rush to see everyone in a week and feel guilty or pressured by those whom I don't have the time and energy for because I'll be HOME and there will be no immediate return so everyone will be seen and visited; I will be home...my family, my friends...and it will be wonderful. And I am sad because I have friends here, I have a life here, I love this city so much--everything that i can provide me with, every door it can open and leaving it is not easy task.
I mix and plethora of emotion.
But I have no choice. In 3 days time, I will be stepping foot onto a plane for my next chapter. I just hope it will be as grand an adventure as this one.
As for me, life is changing. A chapter 2 years in the making is rapidly coming to an end. I had to make great sacrifices to come here, to follow my dream. And I may have made one or two mistakes along the way that cost me dearly.
But here I am. Two years later. A Master of Archaeology (with Honors), more traveled, more cultured, more knowledgeable, more experienced. New friendships, old friendships still strong, and old ones that have waned. So much is different, and here I sit in my room--half empty, half a mess of things scattered about the floor waiting for their ultimate destiny in the bin or at a charity shop--on the verge of another change. I like to tell myself it will simply be going back to the way things were. But will it? I think that's a very optimistic view. I doubt anything in life will ever be the same. Only time will tell. Will I love being home? Will I forget about my desire to come back? Or will I only yearn for the great London--despise my life in America because it was forced upon me when I wasn't completely ready? Only time can tell.
To be honest, I'm terrified, excited, and sad all at once. i'm afraid of what the future there--"home"--holds for me. I am terrified because I hate change. I have so much here, and to move again is no easy task. I'm terrified I'll go and never return or I'll go and I'll hate it or I'll love it and I'll forget all that I have here and that is scary. I'm excited to be back and not have to rush to see everyone in a week and feel guilty or pressured by those whom I don't have the time and energy for because I'll be HOME and there will be no immediate return so everyone will be seen and visited; I will be home...my family, my friends...and it will be wonderful. And I am sad because I have friends here, I have a life here, I love this city so much--everything that i can provide me with, every door it can open and leaving it is not easy task.
I mix and plethora of emotion.
But I have no choice. In 3 days time, I will be stepping foot onto a plane for my next chapter. I just hope it will be as grand an adventure as this one.