Transcript: Psych 3x04 The Greatest Adventure in the History of Basic Cable
INT. SBPD, INTERROGATION, NIGHT
We are looking at SHAWN, HENRY and GUS sitting at a table in an interrogation room from the angle of a surveillance camera. It says “Monday, 8:15pm”. HENRY leans back in his chair, GUS rubs his face with his hand and SHAWN drums with his hands on the table. The angle switches to their level and into color.
HENRY:
Don't say a word.
SHAWN:
(after a long pause) Fergulous.
HENRY:
Shawn, I said no words.
SHAWN:
Oh, I see how works. Two weeks ago, playing Scrabble, it’s not a word. Now, suddenly, it is a word because it's convenient for you. Oh, buddy.
SHAWN reaches behind GUS’ ear and GUS slaps him away.
SHAWN:
Dude, you've got some peat moss jammed behind your ear.
GUS reaches behind his ear himself.
SHAWN:
It could be infested with mites.
GUS:
Mites? (puts his leg on the table) I lost a $200 shoe. Your dad almost got a skull fracture. You're the one who got us into this, and absolutely nothing happened to you.
HENRY:
Would you two stop it? I've been on the other side of this table a thousand times. You'll tell them only what they need to know.
SHAWN:
What do we say about Uncle Jack?
HENRY:
He's not here, is he, Shawn? Why don’t we take care of ourselves? We didn't do anything wrong. We didn't break any laws.
SHAWN looks a little cagey and won’t meet HENRY’S eye.
HENRY:
Oh no. Oh no. What… What did you do, Shawn?
SHAWN:
Nothing. It's just the laws keep changing. It's getting very challenging to keep up with them all. Did you know, for instance, that is it now illegal pretend to give a perm to a possum? What?
HENRY:
Shawn. Did you or did you not break any laws?
GUS:
We impersonated priests.
HENRY:
What?
SHAWN:
What? We were professors.
GUS:
We were priests, Shawn.
The door opens and VICK, LASSITER and JULIET enter.
VICK:
You gentlemen have a lot of explaining to do.
LASSITER:
You can bet your ass I'm getting to the bottom of this.
SHAWN:
Don't I get a phone call or something?
LASSITER:
No.
SHAWN:
Fine. How about a text message? I'll be quick. I just need to respond, "OMG, LOL.” Here's a question. How do you make the face that's winking with the tongue coming out one side?
HENRY elbows SHAWN in the side.
VICK:
Mr. Spencer! Now, by my estimation, you may be in some serious trouble here, so I am only going to ask you this once. (leans down) Where's the gold?
SHAWN looks to HENRY.
HENRY:
It's not quite as simple as that.
SHAWN:
Right, if we were to really answer that question, we'd have to go back quite a while.
VICK:
How long?
SHAWN:
About 20 years.
>>>FLASHBACK>>>
INT. CLASSROOM, DAY
About twenty years ago, in an elementary school classroom, a man is standing in front of the students, telling a story of some glamourous adventure. The children are enthralled. The MAN’S nametag reads “Shawn’s Dad” though he is obviously not HENRY.
MAN:
As the rain thundered down from the dark night sky and 30-foot waves crashed over his ship, the great pirate Bouchard stood on his bow, pointed at the California coast, and yelled, "We shall take this land as ours, men!"
The kids all cheer and applaud.
BOY:
Your dad's awesome.
SHAWN:
I know.
BOY:
I'm so glad my dad didn't come. I mean, I don't even know what a manager of debt consolidation does, anyways. Except drink.
MAN:
Rumor has it that Bouchard was obsessed with searching for Spanish gold. They also say he may have had syphilis and went crazy searching for something that never existed. But I say the gold did exist! (dumps fake coins out of his pack)
While the MAN has been talking, a police car pulls up and HENRY steps out. SHAWN sees him and tries to hurry things up.
SHAWN:
Okay, my dad has to go now. Thanks, Dad. See you later. Bye.
HENRY walks in at that moment and the two men look at each other.
HENRY:
Wh... Wh... What the heck's going on here?
The TEACHER walks over.
TEACHER:
Officer, we're just in the middle of a class. Is there a problemm with something?
HENRY:
Yes, there is a problem. That's not Shawn’s dad, 'cause I'm Shawn Spencer’s father.
TEACHER:
You're not Shawn’s dad?
MAN:
Uh, well, uh, you know technically…
HENRY:
Uh, technically, that is my brother Jack, who technically didn't tell me he was coming to town and obviously cooked up this ruse with Shawn to fool his new teacher. What were you thinking?
SHAWN:
I don't know. I just thought it'd be cooler if Uncle Jack spoke.
HENRY:
Look, class, I'm sorry to break this to you, but... He's not a real treasure hunter. And this is not real gold.
The class groans in disappointment.
JACK:
Kids, my big brother Henry is absolutely right. This is not real gold. But it is real chocolate! (throws the coins into the air)
>>>END FLASHBACK>>>
INT. SBPD, INTERROGATION, NIGHT
LASSITER:
What does this have to do with the gold?
SHAWN:
Relax, Lassidophilus, we're getting there. Last night...
>>>FLASHBACK>>>
EXT. HENRY’S HOUSE, NIGHT
HENRY, SHAWN and GUS are walking along the road towards HENRY’S house. We learn it is Sunday night at 10:20.
HENRY:
What can I say? The movie didn't make any sense.
SHAWN:
Of course, it didn't make any sense to you. You came in 20 minutes late, fell asleep for an hour, then woke up and asked me what happened. You always do this.
They enter the yard through the open gate.
HENRY:
What can I say? They’re making the movie theaters too damn dark. It makes me sleepy.
SHAWN:
So basically I paid $10 for you to take a nap.
GUS:
Uh, basically, I paid...
SHAWN stops them when he sees movement inside the house.
SHAWN:
Dad, someone's in the house.
GUS:
Oh, my God. Let's call the cops. We should call the cops.
HENRY goes over to a birdhouse and pulls out a gun.
SHAWN:
You keep a stun gun in the birdhouse? What's under the garden gnome, an M-80?
HENRY points the first two fingers of his left hand towards his eyes and then points to the roof of the house.
SHAWN:
You want me to poke you in the eyes on the roof?
HENRY then points at SHAWN and motions for him to move. He then goes around the side of the house.
GUS:
We're calling the cops, right?
SHAWN sighs and goes around the opposite side from his father.
GUS:
Why aren't we calling the cops? (puts up hands like he’s about to fight)
INT. HENRY’S HOUSE, NIGHT
SHAWN enters carrying an oar. HENRY comes down the stairs with the stun gun. SHAWN stops when he sees a penny on the coffee table. He picks it up and smiles.
SHAWN:
Dad, wait.
HENRY:
Stop!
HENRY turns on the living room light and we see Uncle JACK kneeling by a table where he quickly closes a drawer.
SHAWN:
Uncle Jack! I knew it was you as soon as I saw the penny.
SHAWN hurries over and hugs JACK.
JACK:
(laughs) The kid! Shawn, my boy. Hey. And by the way, that's a '59 penny. It's the first year they used the Lincoln Memorial on it. I want you to keep it. (pats SHAWN’S shoulder)
HENRY puts the stun gun down and doesn’t look too pleased at seeing his younger brother.
SHAWN:
Thanks, man.
GUS runs into the room with an attempted battle cry. He is carrying the garden hose aiming the spray nozzle. He stops when he sees JACK.
GUS:
Jack?
SHAWN:
Dude. A hose, really? What were you gonna do, give him a high colonic?
GUS:
Shut up, Shawn. (starts to leave)
JACK:
No, no, no, no. I get it. You bust in here, you blind him with water, and then you make your move, baby! Come here, you! (hugs GUS) Ah, boys. (puts an arm around each of their shoulders) It seems like only yesterday I was bringing you kids to the track, and we were betting the ponies.
GUS:
I was the only 8-year-old kid who knew what a trifecta meant.
SHAWN:
Uncle Jack, I haven't heard from you since you sent that e-mail from Prince Albert’s boat in the Maldives.
JACK:
Yeah, well, I had to sign a confidentiality agreement there, guys. Can't really talk about it. Ooh! By the way, I got presents for everybody. (opens backpack) I got these when I was excavating near Machu Picchu. Dug them up myself.
JACK pulls out what looks like tribal masks and hands them to SHAWN and GUS. They look at the masks before switching them. They then hold them up to their faces and make growling noises. JACK walks over to HENRY with a small bowl in his hand.
HENRY:
It's been three years, Jack. What are you doing here besides breaking into my house?
JACK:
Breaking in. You gave me a key, Henry.
HENRY:
I didn't give you a key. I don't give anyone keys, not even Shawn. (flips bowl over and sees remnants of a tag underneath)
SHAWN:
(lowers mask) Oh, that's not true. I actually made a copy a while back. It was when I was hooked on Wow! Wow! Wubbzy! on Noggin. I didn't have cable. Oh, I also stole your toilet paper for about a year, and a huge box of sporks. (puts mask to face again)
JACK looks at a framed photo on the mantel before turning to face them.
JACK:
I guess you are wondering why I came back. I want you to help me find Bouchard's treasure.
SHAWN and GUS lower their masks to look at him.
HENRY:
Come on, not that again, Jack. I hate to break it to you, little brother, but Bouchard’s treasure does not, has not, and will not ever exist. It's a pipe dream.
SHAWN:
Don't listen to him, Uncle Jack. He's a dream killer.
JACK:
Ah, I understand his frustration. All those years spent listening to me drone on about the whole "treasure" thing without even a semblance of proof. I get it. One thing confuses me, though. If it is just a figment of my imagination, where'd I get this? (holds up treasure map)
**********************************************************************
PSYCH
“The Greatest Adventure in the History of Basic Cable”
By
Josh Bycel
STARRING:
James Roday
Dulé Hill
Timothy Omundson
Maggie Lawson
Kirsten Nelson
And
Corbin Bernsen
DIRECTOR
Jay Chandrasekhar
**********************************************************************
INT. SBPD, OBSERVATION, NIGHT
Monday night, 9:45. LASSITER and JULIET are watching SHAWN from the observation room and he seems to be staring right at them through the one-way glass.
JULIET:
Why do I feel like he can see us?
LASSITER:
No, it's impossible. He can't see or hear a thing.
LASSITER leans forward and so does SHAWN. He then moves his finger and SHAWN turns his head to follow it. VICK doesn’t know what to make of it either.
LASSITER:
That's just weird. (he looks off-screen then back to VICK) So, what, we're just gonna let this guy listens in on everything?
There’s a MAN sitting in the corner at a desk watching a monitor showing the interrogation room.
VICK:
It's out of our hands, Detective. Now just get in there and get to the bottom of this.
LASSITER:
You got it.
LASSITER and JULIET leave the room.
INT. SBPD, INTERROGATION, NIGHT
iLASSITER and JULIET enter and SHAWN turns to face them.
SHAWN:
When are we gonna find out the deal with suit guy in there?
LASSITER and JULIET exchange a glance.
LASSITER:
Let's just get back to the story.
Everybody sits back down at the table.
JULIET:
I can't believe your Uncle Jack actually had a treasure map.
LASSITER:
I can't believe you actually pretended your uncle was your dad.
SHAWN:
I wanted Gus' dad to do it, but there was a genealogy issue I just couldn't resolve.
JULIET:
What else can you tell us about the Bouchard guy?
GUS:
We could only remember bits and pieces of the Bouchard myth, but Jack filled us in on the rest.
>>>FLASHBACK>>>
INT. HENRY’S HOUSE, KITCHEN, NIGHT
Sunday 11:15 PM - JACK has the map spread out on the kitchen table. SHAWN and GUS look through all the papers JACK has on Bouchard.
JACK:
November, 1818. Bouchard sailed up and down the California coast, searching desperately for the mythical Spanish gold. He ravaged and looted the mission in Monterey, was repelled at San Juan Capistrano, and finally made land here, at Santa Barbara, where he did battle with a small Spanish garrison and the Chumash Indians.
HENRY takes some glasses from a cabinet.
GUS:
Yeah, I remember reading about that. They say he made off with millions in Spanish gold coins, but his boat sunk off the coast north of here. He disappeared, and years later he showed up in Argentina.
JACK:
Superior retention of historic detail, Gus. Bouchard was also fond of hiding clues to the treasure's whereabouts in the map. And I stumbled upon this one while researching him in Argentina.
HENRY:
(pouring drinks) Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! First you say you're in Machu Picchu in Peru, and all of a sudden, now you're in Argentina, so which one is it?
SHAWN:
Dad, he's not a suspect.
HENRY:
(scoffs) He's suspect, all right.
JACK:
Forget him. Forget him, okay? My big brother's always been just a little cynical. And that's what I love about him.
HENRY walks over and hands JACK a whiskey.
HENRY:
You still haven't answered my question. (walks away)
JACK:
What about it, boys? Want to be treasure hunters? (sips his drink)
SHAWN:
Are you kidding me? That's like asking me if I want my own jet pack. Or if I've ever wanted to be a koala bear.
GUS:
Okay, I think he means, yes, you can count him in. And me too.
JACK:
Superb. Mm. (puts drink down and leans against counter) You know, I've been, uh, reading a lot about that detective stuff you do, and it seems to me that having a psychic might be a real asset. Who knew I had one in my own family?
SHAWN:
Well, Uncle Jack, I... I don't know. I'm not really... I wouldn't necessarily say psychic.
JACK:
Stop that right now. Don't you do that to yourself, young man. Do not sell yourself short. Do not feel embarrassed just 'cause you're a little different. Didn't I always tell you you'd be great, didn't I?
SHAWN:
Yeah, you did.
JACK:
Okay, now, here's the plan. Everything we find, we split 50/50…
GUS:
That's after we donate most of it to a museum, right?
JACK:
We are so gonna do that, Gus.
GUS:
Right.
JACK:
You and I are really, up here, in synch. Okay, so the first thing we need to do is...
GUS:
Get matching fedoras?
>>>END FLASHBACK>>>
INT. SBPD, INTERROGATION, NIGHT
LASSITER has his face half-buried in his palm.
GUS:
Get matching fedoras? You're the one who wanted the fedoras, not me. Stop changing the story.
SHAWN:
My mistake. He wanted the yellow gauchos. I said no to that.
HENRY:
Would you please put me in a separate room from these idiots? I will tell you everything.
JULIET:
Just continue.
>>>FLASHBACK>>>
EXT. SANTA BARBARA MISSION, DAY
Monday morning, 10:15 -
SHAWN: (v.o.)
Jack had told us to meet him at the front steps of the mission, because that was the first step on the map. Gus and I could barely contain our excitement.
GUS trips on the stairs but stands back up quickly.
SHAWN: (v.o.)
I contained mine a little better.
JACK is waiting for them at the door. He sets a penny down on the steps.
JACK:
Okay, just follow my lead. Say yes to everything.
JACK goes inside and SHAWN and GUS follow.
INT. SANTA BARBARA MISSION, HALL, DAY
JACK, SHAWN and GUS are greeted by a WOMAN and MAN.
WOMAN:
Oh, welcome. Welcome. I'm Karen Raven, head of the Santa Barbara historical society. We are delighted to have such a distinguished professor as yourself visiting us.
There are three men paying their respects and lighting candles at the shrine behind them.
JACK:
(Spanish accent) Ah, gracias, gracias. I am Abner Espinoza, and these are my compatriots, Ernesto Agapito Garces con y a de Abelar and Juan Priestly.
>>>END FLASHBACK>>>
INT. SBPD, INTERROGATION, NIGHT
SHAWN:
Oh, now I see where you got the priest thing.
JULIET:
What does that mean?
BOTH:
Nothing.
>>>FLASHBACK>>>
INT. SANTA BARBARA MISSION, HALL, DAY
RAVEN:
Well, welcome. Please, come this way. (leads them to a door marked private) Now, as you know, most of our prized collection pieces are kept away from the public, but, well, we're happy to open our doors for visiting dignitaries such as yourselves.
BOTH:
(horrible nasal accent) Yes.
RAVEN:
Okay, then. Um… Take as much time as you need. (unlocks and opens the door) And, uh, Bill here will be waiting just outside.
INT. SANTA BARBARA MISSION, ROOM, DAY
Once inside the room, they resume their real voices.
JACK:
All right, boys, we got about 10 minutes before the real Espinoza shows up.
SHAWN:
There's a real Espinoza?
JACK:
Well, technically speaking, we used to be partners. He's a great guy, but we had a little falling out when I had a small dalliance with his wife. And his sister. And his housekeeper, Debbie.
SHAWN:
Uncle Jack, what's really going on here?
JACK:
My research has told me there are clues about the treasure's whereabouts hidden somewhere in this room. (looks around) And it all has to do with the number 152.
GUS:
Why don't we just use the map?
JACK:
Well, technically, there's, uh, something I haven't told you about the whole map.
JACK walks over to a desk and unfurls the map. Part of it is missing.
SHAWN:
Uncle Jack, this is a pretty big thing to leave out.
JACK:
Yeah, I know, I know, I know. It's a long story. (scratches chin) A one-legged woman, a bottle of Cutty Sark… The point is that the missing part of the map is the first step of the hunt. Now, come on, kid, use that psychic gift you got. Come on. (pats SHAWN on the back)
SHAWN studies the map and singles out the capital letters.
SHAWN:
Oh, boy. I- I'm seeing letters, swarming. They're... They're zinging. They're... They're...They're forming... They're forming words. They're forming words... Couleur. C-couleur.
They all keep repeating the word.
SHAWN:
What is that? What does that mean?
JACK:
French… Color… Paint! Painting! That's it. Come on, let's go. Hurry up, more.
GUS:
There are paintings over there.
GUS walks to where paintings are leaning against the wall and starts to flip through them. SHAWN stands with his back to them but angles his head just enough so he can see without being obvious. One painting looks similar to one of the sketches JACK had.
SHAWN:
Whoa, whoa, wait. Go back. Go back.
SHAWN reaches back “blindly” before pulling out the painting.
SHAWN:
Hello, Bouchard. Let me see the map.
SHAWN takes the painting to the desk and sets it down next to the map.
SHAWN:
Where did you hide that clue, you old syphilitic sea dog?
SHAWN sees part of a tower on the ripped section of the map. In the painting, Bouchard’s telescope is pointing to the top of a similar tower on the coast.
SHAWN:
I know where the map starts. And I know where the first clue is.
EXT. PARK, DAY
Monday, 11:25AM - SHAWN, GUS and JACK run up to the remains of a tower or column. There is a brass plaque on the base. “Montaña de Oro Lighthouse Built in 1816” Underneath that “California State Landmark #152”.
>>>END FLASHBACK>>>
INT. SBPD, INTERROGATION, NIGHT
LASSITER:
Wait. The map was actually real?
GUS:
Oh, yeah. We couldn't believe it.
JULIET:
The lighthouse was the first clue. What happened from there?
SHAWN:
We didn't make it to the second clue.
LASSITER:
Why not?
HENRY makes a motion like he wants them to keep quiet.
GUS:
Because we weren't the only ones who found the lighthouse.
>>>FLASHBACK>>>
EXT. PARK, DAY
SHAWN, GUS and JACK run away from the lighthouse and three men emerge from the other side and start shotting at them while chasing them.
>>>END FLASHBACK>>>
INT. SBPD, OBSERVATION, NIGHT
Tuesday, 2:30AM. The MAN is the suit is still watching the interrogation while talking on his cell phone in Spanish.
INT. SBPD, INTERROGATION, NIGHT
LASSITER, JULIET and VICK re-enter the room.
LASSITER:
All right, Spencer, tell the Chief what you just told us.
SHAWN:
Okay, Chief, here it goes. We're so hungry. I can't get the burrito place on Coda Street out of my mind. They're open late. Gus, children's burrito, no sauce, Dad, I know you're a fan of the carne asada.
VICK:
All right, Mr. Spencer, let me be frank.
SHAWN:
As long as I can be Dean and Gus can be Sammy.
GUS:
Why do I have to be Sammy?
SHAWN:
Fine. He's Sammy. (points to HENRY) That makes you Joey Bishop. Is that what you really want? You want to be Joey Bishop?
JULIET:
Shawn.
SHAWN:
I'm sorry, Jules. How often does someone set you up with "let me be Frank"?
JULIET:
(leans over and slaps the table) Shawn!
SHAWN, GUS and HENRY lean back in their chairs. Even LASSITER looks at her, surprised.
JULIET:
Don't forget that you are in a lot of trouble here. And I am probably the only person in this room who cares to see you get out of it. Now, it's 2:30 in the morning, we've been here for hours, enough with the jokes, stop delaying, and tell us what we want to hear! (stands)
SHAWN:
(turns slowly to look at GUS) Oh my God. That was so hot.
LASSITER:
Spencer, tell the Chief what you told us about the guys who chased you away from the lighthouse with the guns.
GUS:
Not just chasing us. They found us hiding in a cabin.
LASSITER:
Who were they?
HENRY:
Jack's partners. Because the one thing that you could count on with my brother Jackie, he always had partners.
>>>FLASHBACK>>>
INT. CABIN, DAY
Monday, 2:00PM - The men have tied SHAWN, GUS and JACK to chairs, back-to-back in a circle.
MAN:
Jack! What the hell are you doing?
JACK:
Mark, calm down, will ya? It's all part of the plan.
SHAWN:
Wait a second. You guys know each other?
MARK:
Oh, yeah. We were partners.
GUS:
I thought we were partners.
JACK:
Oh, technically, you're all my partners.
SHAWN:
Well, I don't know where you guys went to partner college, but I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to shoot at your partners.
MARK:
Yeah? Should partners do this? (punches JACK)
GUS:
(to SHAWN) Maybe we shouldn't use the word "partners" anymore. It seems to make him mad.
JACK:
(groans) Mark. (spits) Kitten, listen, this is my nephew Shawn, okay? He's psychic. For real. Works with the cops sometimes. Fully legitimate, fully. I only brought him around to help with the hunt. And I was just gonna pay him a small finder's fee. That's it.
SHAWN:
(to GUS) What’s finder's fee? Is that like 50%?
GUS:
Not even close.
MARK:
No. Not buying it. You were gonna sell us out. (gets ready to punch JACK)
SHAWN:
Whoa! Psychic things are happening to me! Oh! Running down my legs.
SHAWN peeks with one eye and the other two men with MARK. He remembers seeing them at the mission at the shrine lighting candles. It was the shrine of St. Gerard Majella, Patron Saint of Pregnant Women.
SHAWN:
You don't worry about the pregnancy. Your girlfriend's gonna be just fine.
The man looks over at MARK who looks at SHAWN and JACK.
JACK:
Hmm, hmm, hmm? What did I tell you? Now, why don't you just let us go? We'll all find the treasure. We'll be stinking, filthy rich, and live fabulous lives.
MARK:
No. Give us the map.
JACK:
We don't have the map.
MARK:
Really? That's too bad. (grabs JACK by the collar and prepares to punch him)
SHAWN:
Okay, it's in the backpack.
GUS turns to SHAWN, questioning.
MARK:
Thanks. (lets go of JACK and goes to the backpack)
GUS:
What are you…
SHAWN:
Wait.
GUS:
What…
SHAWN:
Just wait.
MARK tips out the backpack. JACK looks at SHAWN.
SHAWN:
Wait. (to MARK) It's in... It's in the side pouch. (to GUS) Ssh!
MARK pulls the map out of the side pocket then comes back.
SHAWN:
(in stage whisper) Hey, Gus, should we tell Mark that there's a tear in the map?
They watch as MARK opens the map.
MARK:
Son of a bitch, Jack!
>>>END FLASHBACK>>>
INT. SBPD, INTERROGATION, NIGHT
LASSITER:
Hold it. So, you just gave them the map and told them everything?
SHAWN, GUS and HENRY are eating take-out meals.
SHAWN:
No, not everything.
GUS jabs him in the side with his elbow while sipping his drink.
SHAWN:
Okay, everything.
LASSITER:
So, they found the treasure?
SHAWN:
(scoffs) Not exactly.
>>>FLASHBACK>>>
MARK and his men are on a ferry crossing to a land similar to one on the map.
SHAWN: (v.o.)
Okay, I may have psychically led them down the wrong path.
>>>END FLASHBACK>>>
INT. SBPD, INTERROGATION, NIGHT
SHAWN:
The spirit world is just one of life's little mysteries, like why the Oxygen Network airs Goodfellas, or why fools fall in love.
SHAWN tries to steal a chip from GUS, but GUS slaps his hand away.
VICK:
(enters with a boot and sets it on the table) Oh, here you go, Mr. Guster. This is all they had in lost-and-found in your size.
GUS:
An UGG boot? I can't wear an UGG boot with... (VICK glares at him) It'll be dope with my one Puma. (takes the boot)
VICK:
Now, Mr. Spencer.
BOTH:
Yes.
VICK:
Oh, I meant the older...
HENRY looks at her.
VICK:
Sorry, not old, less...
SHAWN:
Handsome? Less hair? Less friends on Facebook?
HENRY:
Less nose.
SHAWN:
Ooh.
VICK:
Henry. Did you fill out a burglary report on your house yesterday?
HENRY:
I did. But nothing was taken.
VICK:
Oh. And yet why do I feel this somehow plays into this whole mess, doesn't it? (tosses file onto table)
HENRY:
I was the one who picked them up. (takes a bit of his food)
LASSITER:
Wait, wait, wait, wait. How did your dad know where to find you if that Mark guy took all your cell phones?
SHAWN:
That is a good question.
>>>FLASHBACK>>>
INT. CABIN, DAY
The three of them are still tied up.
SHAWN:
I have to pee.
GUS:
No. No way, Shawn.
SHAWN:
What am I supposed to do?
GUS:
Hold it like a man.
SHAWN:
I'll get a urinary tract infection.
GUS:
Like a man.
JACK:
You know what? You can link your legs underneath your chairs and form a wheel and roll to the bathroom.
GUS:
I don't even want to project how that's gonna happen. I'm not rolling anywhere. I don't know why I listened to either one of you. No one is gonna find us. We're probably gonna die out here.
SHAWN:
Gus?
GUS:
What?
SHAWN:
What is that on your leg?
GUS:
Nothing. (moves leg)
SHAWN:
Dude, you are strapped with another cell phone?
JACK:
I can't believe you actually pretended your uncle was your dad.
GUS:
No, no, we're not calling anyone. That is my work phone. For work.
SHAWN:
This is work!
GUS:
My boss is watching everything I do, Shawn. Plus, you already used up half my minutes waiting on hold for concert tickets.
SHAWN:
That was Tony, Toni, Tone and Wet Wet Wet playing together! You know I can't resist that. The symmetry alone...
JACK:
All right, Gus, this is our only choice, man.
GUS:
Fine. Shawn, reach down and get it.
SHAWN:
Me? I'm not gonna reach down and... You get it.
GUS:
With what hand?
SHAWN:
Fine. I'll do it. Hold still.
SHAWN maneuvers in his chair to try to lower himself. Because of the proximity of their chairs, GUS’ chair moves too. He grunts.
SHAWN:
Stop it. You're wobbling!
GUS:
Hold on, now.
They both topple to the floor. SHAWN uses his mouth to get the phone out of its case. GUS jerks his leg.
SHAWN:
Stop flexing.
GUS:
Ow!
SHAWN pulls the phone out by the antenna and drops it on the floor. He then uses a pen in his mouth to dial.
SHAWN:
Wha...No, wait, it's ringing.
MAN: (over phone)
Fu's palace. Want to place order?
GUS:
You must have dialed the wrong number. Hi. We're stuck out in a cabin on Tunnel Road. Can you send help?
MAN: (over phone)
For pickup or delivery?
JACK:
This is Jack Spencer, and I'm willing to offer you a 50/50 split on pirate treasure.
GUS:
Hang up, Shawn.
SHAWN:
Hold on. While he's on the line, you guys want anything?
GUS:
Will you dial it again? And this time try to dial the right number.
SHAWN:
Look, man, I'm dialing with a 10-year-old Erasermate in my mouth. It's not an exact science.
SHAWN dials again and it rings.
HENRY: (answering machine)
You've reached Henry Spencer. Leave your name and number, but speak slowly, because people talk too fast on these things, and I can never understand it. (the message beeps)
SHAWN:
Hey, Dad, what's going on? Uh, I got good news. Great news! The electric wrench you've been wanting is in stock at Home Depot. Uh, what else? There was something else. Oh, I know. If you're not too busy, Gus, Jack, and I are tied up in a cabin about…
INT. HENRY’S HOUSE, DAY
The living room is a mess. It appears to have been ransacked.
SHAWN: (on answering machine)
…100 yards off tunnel road, right by where we had the pulled pork sandwiches that one time.
HENRY:
(picks up phone) Shawn?
LASSITER: (v.o.)
Spencer, are you gonna answer my question or not?
>>>END FLASHBACK>>>
INT. SBPD, INTERROGATION, NIGHT
LASSITER:
How did your dad know where to find you?
SHAWN:
With some people, I can communicate through psychic wavelengths. My father is one of them. Val Kilmer is another.
JULIET:
Here's something I don't understand. Jack's partner wanted the map, right? So why would they trash your dad's house? They’d know Jack wouldn't let the map out of his sight.
GUS:
Mark and his men, they weren't looking for a map.
JULIET:
So, what were they looking for?
>>>FLASHBACK>>>
INT. HENRY’S HOUSE, DAY
SHAWN is putting stuff away in a cabinet, HENRY is just standing there, JACK is sitting on a chair while GUS crosses the room.
JACK:
You know you're my boy, Shawn. Why'd you have to go and give Mark the map?
SHAWN:
Because I don't need it. Uncle Jack, trust me. I can re-create the map psychically in my head.
JACK:
Hey, hey! Spare me, kid, okay? You can't snow the snowman. We were so close.
Everyone appears dejected. SHAWN then remembers what JACK was doing when they first saw him.
SHAWN:
(leans on the coffee table) Oh! I feel jittery! (stands) It starts with beans. Gus likes it in the morning. (falls back to the table) Now he has gas!
GUS:
Something having to do with coffee?
SHAWN:
Yes! (hits the table every time he says “coffee”) Coffee! Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee table! Coffee table. (pulls out one of the drawers) Mark and his goons weren't looking for the map, were they? (reaches into the space) No, no. They were looking for something else. A different piece of the puzzle. (pulls out a key) Something you didn't want connected to the map at all. (gasps and stands)
JACK:
Oh! That is downright scary! Maybe you really do have a gift, kid. My bad for doubting it. (takes key) Now, this key is also from Bouchard’s stuff I found in Argentina. It was useless without that map. But if Shawn can actually re-create that map, that plus this key means we are back on track!
JACK and SHAWN both whoop. HENRY is not impressed.
JACK:
Guys, I got to hit the head. But when I come back, we are finding us a treasure!
SHAWN slaps JACK on the back as he leaves. JACK in turn slaps Henry on the shoulder as he passes.
SHAWN:
(exhales) Hope he bought that.
GUS:
With Jack, you never know.
SHAWN:
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But if that key is real...
HENRY:
Shawn, come on. Take a look around. Haven't you had enough? These guys… They’ve destroyed my living room.
SHAWN:
Mark and his goons aren't gonna stop. We got to get back out there! Dad!
HENRY:
No! No. Shawn, no!
SHAWN:
Just come with us. Come with us.
HENRY:
Why do you need me?
SHAWN:
It's not that we need you. We want you. Plus, we need you.
GUS:
We need your truck because my car is still at the lighthouse, and Mark has the key.
HENRY:
There you go. Thank you very much. Sorry. Count me out.
SHAWN:
Shocker!
HENRY nearly bumps into JACK on his way out.
JACK:
(claps hands) Okay, guys, ready? Good. All we got to do now is borrow a car. Now, technically, the term is hot-wiring. However...
HENRY rushes back in.
HENRY:
I'm in. But I drive, I'm the one who decides if and when we go to the police. (points at them emphatically) I don't want any more surprises. Do you understand?
SHAWN:
Yes, Dad!
JACK:
Big bro, I knew you'd come around. Okay, psychic, what's the next step?
SHAWN recalls the map and sees a building that seems to have the key drawn next to it. He puts the key to his forehead. He pulls it away with a deep, shaky breath before putting it back to his head. He does this a couple more times until HENRY yells at him.
HENRY:
Shawn?
SHAWN:
The key will guide us now.
SHAWN holds the key out in front of him and runs from the room. GUS follows.
JACK:
(taps HENRY on the chest) I love this. 50/50 split between me and you guys! (runs after SHAWN and GUS)
EXT, HENRY’S HOUSE, DAY
They all cram into the cab of his truck.
HENRY:
No more surprises, right, Jack?
JACK:
Of course.
They drive away. Hiding down the road is a black sedan. The two men inside are wearing dark suits and sunglasses. The passenger talks into a radio in Spanish. They follow the truck.
EXT. STREET, DAY
Monday, 5:00PM - There is a plaque on the building bearing a sketch and the words “El Presidio del Pacifico - A fort built by the Spanish in 1782 - Destroyed by a fire in 1898”. SHAWN holds the key up to the bell tower. It lines up perfectly.
GUS:
Tell me this, Shawn. How are we supposed to find clues from a bell tower that hasn't been around for over 100 years?
JACK:
The Presidio was huge. It would've taken up several blocks. So, what should we do now?
SHAWN sees a local street map showing sights and landmarks for tourists.
SHAWN:
There's only one thing we can do. Go back in time.
SHAWN closes his eyes and overlays the sketch and the street map, getting a location where the bell tower would have stood. With arms stretched out to his sides, SHAWN goes down the sidewalk. GUS, JACK and HENRY follow. A la Indiana Jones, a red line on the map shows their progress.
SHAWN:
The bell tower is calling me!
He stops quickly and GUS bumps into him.
GUS:
Shawn!
HENRY:
Come on. (slaps SHAWN on the arm)
SHAWN continues to lead them through the neighborhood. HENRY is lagging behind.
HENRY:
Shawn, wait up! Shawn!
HENRY turns to look behind him and walks into a door when he turns around again. GUS helps him keep up. SHAWN stops in front of a muffler shop.
SHAWN:
This is it. This is where the bell tower stood.
JACK:
What do we do now?
SHAWN:
Let's buy some mufflers. (goes inside)
GUS:
He doesn't even own a car. I bet you I end up paying for this.
EXT. MUFFLER SHOP ROOF, DAY
SHAWN sighs and HENRY walks up to him, a Band-Aid on his head.
SHAWN:
You all right?
HENRY:
Yeah. Yeah, I'll survive. What are we doing up here, Shawn?
SHAWN:
I'm not sure yet. But that's part of the fun, isn't it? (pats HENRY on the stomach)
JACK and GUS join them.
JACK:
We are good to go. The manager said we can take as much time as we need. Alvin. Good guy. Filipino. He loved me.
GUS:
And Jack offered him 50% of the treasure.
JACK:
I also gave him an '82 penny. It was the first year they used zinc instead of copper.
GUS:
Okay, what is the deal with you and all these pennies?
JULIET: (v.o.)
Yeah, I don't get that either.
>>>END FLASHBACK>>>
INT. SBPD, INTERROGATION, NIGHT
The meals are gone and a street map is spread on the table. HENRY is standing but leaning on his chair from behind. GUS is lying on his side on the table, fiddling with a pen.
JULIET:
So, Jack collects them and then leaves them places? What's that about?
HENRY:
Jack was always interested in history. Collecting pennies was his way of being a part of it.
SHAWN:
But leaving the pennies was his own personal philosophy. See, Uncle Jack always said...
>>>FLASHBACK>>>
EXT. MUFFLER SHOP ROOF, DAY
JACK has an arm about GUS’ shoulder.
JACK:
I leave the penny because it's good luck. And Lord knows, the world could use more good luck.
GUS:
Are you for real?
HENRY:
All right, Shawn, what are we doing up here? You think that when Bouchard captured the fort, he stood up here on the bell tower, gazing out into the big blue ocean, looking for a place to hide the treasure?
SHAWN:
If I were a French pirate with a bad temper and at least one venereal disease, where would I be looking?
SHAWN looks out at the coastline and pictures it against the map.
SHAWN:
(points) That's it. That's it, right there. We're so close! Let's go!
EXT. STREET, DAY
They exit onto the street and are spotted by MARK and his goons.
MARK:
Hey!
GUS:
How did he find us?
JACK:
He's got the map. He must've figured it out. Come on, let's go!
They run. JACK and his men get into their car. On the map, the red line progresses into the hills away from the city.
EXT. FOREST, DAY
They run through the woods, JACK and HENRY in the lead, followed by SHAWN and then GUS. GUS slips in mud and cries out. His foot gets stuck but the others don’t notice and keep running.
GUS:
Shawn! Shawn!
SHAWN runs back to GUS.
GUS:
I can't leave my Puma, Shawn!
SHAWN pulls GUS by the arm, pulling him free but leaving the shoe behind. MARK and his men are still chasing them. JACK bumps into a tree, knocking his bag to the ground. SHAWN and GUS catch up.
SHAWN:
(grabs bag) I got it.
They stop at the edge of the bluff.
SHAWN:
This is it. This is the bluff on the map.
A black helicopter rises up to face them. SHAWN, GUS and HENRY raise their hands. JACK takes off.
SHAWN:
(looks back) Uncle Jack!
The men in the helicopter are the same ones who followed them earlier.
SHAWN:
I know this probably isn't the right time to say this, but, dude, I think we're gonna get to ride in a helicopter!
>>>END FLASHBACK>>>
INT. SBPD, HALL, DAY
Tuesday Morning, Right Now - VICK is arguing with the MAN who had witnessed the interrogation.
MAN:
You're obligated to let me speak with them.
VICK:
I'm not obligated to make you do anything.
MAN:
(holds up paper) Chief, perhaps you should see this one more time.
VICK:
No, I don't need to see the letter one more time.
INT. SBPD, INTERROGATION, DAY
LASSITER and JULIET are looking through the open door at VICK’S conversation.
SHAWN:
Jules. Lassie, what's going on out there? What's the deal with that guy? He didn't say a word to us when he brought us in.
JULIET:
His name is Andres Candelaria. He works for the Spanish government.
LASSITER:
Apparently, he's part of some inter-governmental task force on stolen antiquities.
VICK clears her throat as she and CANDELARIA enter. JULIET and LASSITER stand and move out of the way.
CANDELARIA:
Hello, Mr. Spencer. I believe you know why you're here.
SHAWN:
And I believe you know I know why I'm here. Now, why am I here?
CANDELARIA:
To help us find the treasure that rightly belongs to my government.
GUS:
But we didn't find anything.
CANDELARIA:
Si. And my men have been searching the bluffs all night, as well, with no luck.
SHAWN envisions the letters from the map once more.
SHAWN:
That's because you stopped us one step short. Your treasure's not in the bluffs, che. (stands and exclaims) The spirits are guiding my man paw! (starts writing on the two-way mirror) It's like... It's like that movie Idle Hands, except with no nudity, which means I must be completely unwatchable right now. Do either of these words mean anything to anyone? It could be the clue we're looking for.
SHAWN has written “Coleur” and “Cueva”.
CANDELARIA:
“Cueva” is Spanish for cave.
JULIET:
“Couleur” could be French. I think it means paint. I spent a semester in Paris. Got salmonella poisoning and lost 20 pounds. Best diet ever!
GUS:
(moves to stand next to SHAWN) Painted caves. That's it! Bouchard was French, but he was fascinated with the Chumash Indians.
HENRY:
Whoa, whoa, whoa! The Chumash Indians? Well, they used to paint caves all over the area. We used to roust punks in there from drinking all the time.
SHAWN:
"Roust punks"? Thank you, Jack Lord. We will now lead you to the treasure. (tosses pen onto table) I know the cave.
CANDELARIA:
Very well. Let's go.
VICK:
(steps in) Stop. You are not doing this.
CANDELARIA:
The only reason I brought these men here in the first place was because Spencer would not talk with us unless he was in the station.
VICK:
Okay, look, I said we would cooperate with you, but they are employees of the SBPD, and they're not going anywhere without my detectives.
CANDELARIA:
Chief, we have been through this, no? (pulls out letter) This is from your Treasury Department, giving me full power to call the shots. Now, I thank you for your help, but it will no longer be needed. Vamos.
CANDELARIA heads out with his men. VICK, JULIET, LASSITER and HENRY are not pleased with the situation. GUS leaves and SHAWN follows, bumping into JULIET as he does so.
SHAWN:
Sorry.
INT. PAINTED CAVE, DAY
SHAWN and GUS are digging a hole. CANDELARIA and his two men watch.
GUS:
I can't believe we're actually digging for buried treasure.
SHAWN:
I know, dude. And you're getting your pants totally dirty, and you don't even care. I'm so proud of you.
CANDELARIA:
Keep digging!
GUS’ shovel hits metal. They stop and look at each other. They put down the shovels and SHAWN grabs one of the lanterns. They crouch down and wipe away the dirt to reveal initials.
SHAWN:
H. B.
GUS:
That could be for Hippolyte de Bouchard.
SHAWN:
Or Harry Belafonte.
GUS:
No.
SHAWN:
No, that does... That doesn't make any sense.
CANDELARIA:
Just get it out!
SHAWN and GUS pull the chest out of the hole and rest it on the ledge. They open it to reveal a smaller coffer. They lift off the lid to reveal a canvas bag.
GUS:
Oh, my God. It's real.
CANDELARIA:
Si.
SHAWN grabs a fistful of coins and lets them fall through his fingers back into the bag.
CANDELARIA:
Well done. Buen trabajo. You should know the Spanish government owes you a great debt of gratitude. Now, could I please have the coins?
CANDELARIA motions for one of his men to fetch the bag.
SHAWN:
(hands GUS the bag) Before we do that, I should tell you, I know three things that you probably don't know. Uno, the secret of NIMH and the secret of my success? Same secret. Dos, I know that you don't work for the Spanish government. And tres, these caves are actually quite slippery.
SHAWN throws a shovel at CANDELARIA, causing him to fall into the man behind him. He then pushes the other man into the hole.
GUS:
What are you doing?!
SHAWN:
Bag! Bag! Bag! Bag! Bag!
GUS tosses SHAWN the bag and they run from the cave. They stop in the tunnel and shove the bag of gold into their own then continue running. In the cave, CANDELARIA gets up, yelling at his men. They then chase after SHAWN and GUS.
EXT. FOREST, DAY
SHAWN and GUS run through the woods.
GUS:
What is going on? Why are we running? Why did we leave the caves?
They pause running but spot MARK and his men.
MARK:
Hey!
They continue running as CANDELARIA and his men join the chase. GUS runs alone and stops, calling for SHAWN. SHAWN joins him, coming out from behind some trees.
SHAWN:
What happened to your other Puma?
GUS looks down at his shoeless foot.
GUS:
You got to be kidding me! I lost another shoe?
SHAWN:
Let’s go!
They continue running.
MARK:
This way!
CANDELARIA:
Vamos!
EXT. WOODS, ROAD, DAY
SHAWN and GUS stop when they come to a road. A car skids to a stop.
BOTH:
Jack!
They run up to the car.
SHAWN:
Yes!
JACK:
Hey, guys! I told you I'd come back. I've been tracking you the whole time. Do you, uh... Do you have the treasure?
SHAWN:
This is it.
JACK:
(exclaims) I always believed in you, kid! I always knew you were special!
They hear CANDELARIA shouting and try to get into the car.
JACK:
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You can't come in here. We gotta split up for safety. Now, listen, they're not gonna hurt you if you don't have the gold. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about.
GUS:
What?
JACK:
Come on, let's have it.
After a slight hesitation, SHAWN tosses the bag to JACK who catches it and places it in the passenger seat.
JACK:
Remember the place on Foothill where I used to take you when you were a kid, get you burgers and shakes?
SHAWN:
Yeah, it's Red Robin. It's still there.
JACK:
That's the one. I'll meet you there in an hour. I'll be there. (drives away) Yee-haw!
MARK arrives with his men and aims a gun at them. SHAWN and GUS raise their hands.
MARK:
Damn it! You gave him the gold, didn't you?
CANDELARIA runs up with his men.
CANDELARIA:
Hey, that's my gold!
Both parties turn their guns on each other.
MARK:
Who the hell are you?
SHAWN:
If there were doves flying around, we'd be in a John Woo movie.
MARK:
Son of a bitch!
CANDELARIA:
I'm going to kill Jack!
MARK:
Oh, you know Jack?
CANDELARIA:
He was my partner.
MARK:
He was my partner.
SHAWN:
Uh, technically, Iron Giant guy, he was all of our partners. And the guy who answers the phone at Fu's Palace.
GUS:
And the guy at the muffler shop.
SHAWN:
Good catch, Gus. Look, fellas, we're just gonna roll on out if that's cool. Let you settle your business here. (starts backing away)
Guns are aimed at them once more.
MARK:
Not so fast. Why don't we just take the nephew here and ransom his ass for the gold?
CANDELARIA:
We have no other choice.
SHAWN:
No, no, no, no. No. You... You always have a choice. You could ransom Gus’s ass. You could swirl it up. You could ransom half my ass and half his ass.
At that moment, the police arrive. JULIET, HENRY and LASSITER are in the lead car followed by black-and-whites. LASSITER gets out of the car and aims his gun at the men.
LASSITER:
Drop it!
JULIET:
(also has gun drawn) Hands in the air!
MARK, CANDELARIA and their men lower their weapons. SHAWN mouths to HENRY that he’s okay and HENRY nods. Later, the men are being led away in handcuffs and HENRY is standing with SHAWN and GUS.
GUS:
Shawn, you know I don't curse very often. So, when I do, you know I mean it. What the hell just happened?
SHAWN:
I thought you weren't a big fan of the wrap-up.
GUS just glares at him.
SHAWN:
All right, I’ll give it to you. So, back at the station, I realize Andres' accent isn't Spanish, it's Argentinean. And that's where Uncle Jack just got back from, so I figure he's one of Jack's partners.
GUS:
How did you know that?
HENRY:
You worked at that winery in Argentina for a year. I kept the postcards.
SHAWN:
You did?
HENRY:
I use 'em as beer coasters.
SHAWN is surprised by this revelation.
GUS:
Okay, Shawn, but...
SHAWN:
So that's why I called Andres “che”, to see if he'd react. Which he did. because in Argentina, “che” is slang for "buddy" or "pal". Sort of like I call you "black star" or "home skillet" or "big baby Burton."
GUS:
Don't ever call me "home skillet."
SHAWN:
Right.
GUS:
But why didn't you tell anybody?
SHAWN:
I did. She knew just what to do with it. (looks over at JULIET)
>>>FLASHBACK>>>
INT. SBPD, INTERROGATION, DAY
We see that when SHAWN bumped into JULIET, he slipped her a note: “Andres is not real. Follow us. You smell nice.”
>>>END FLASHBACK>>>
EXT. WOODS, ROAD, DAY
HENRY:
Doesn't matter what happened. The important thing is you guys are safe, and nobody got hurt. Now, let's get out of here. I -I'm too old to be staying up all night. (walks away)
SHAWN and GUS start following.
GUS:
I can't believe I lost my other shoe.
SHAWN:
Dude, I will buy you another pair. Just tell me you didn't really drop 200 bones on sneakers.
GUS:
No, Shawn. I was making a point.
SHAWN:
How much were they really?
GUS:
80 bucks. And I have $32 left on my Foot Locker gift card.
SHAWN:
So, what am I looking at, like 30 bucks?
GUS:
48.
SHAWN:
I'm in for half. We'll get some jerk chicken on the way home.
GUS:
Fine.
INT. RED ROBIN, DAY
SHAWN is sitting alone at a table. He has a meal in front of him. HENRY shows up.
HENRY:
Hey.
SHAWN:
Hey.
HENRY:
(sits) Strawberry, huh?
SHAWN:
(slides glass across) Oh, you got to taste it.
HENRY:
(takes a sip) I'd still go vanilla, but it's good.
SHAWN:
Are you kidding me? That is the best shake on the planet. One part ice cream, two parts awesome.
HENRY:
It's been a long time since you called me for a ride.
SHAWN:
Yeah, well, Gus got tired of waiting for someone who wasn't gonna show.
HENRY:
All right, look, Shawn, here's the thing about your Uncle Jack. He'll always come back. You're not the first to get duped. You certainly won't be the last. Welcome to the club, kid.
SHAWN:
I guess I probably owe you an apology. I can see now where Uncle Jack might not have been the best role model.
HENRY:
Yeah, maybe not.
SHAWN:
Why didn't you say anything when I was a kid?
HENRY:
Because I always wanted you to have the... The “fun uncle” in your life. I was only hard on you because I didn't want your life to turn out like the “fun uncle”.
SHAWN:
Well, it didn't. Not totally.
WAITRESS:
Here you go. (takes away basket and leaves change)
SHAWN:
Thanks.
HENRY:
(picks up a penny) You know the penny thing? Your grandpa taught me that, and then I taught it to Jack when we were kids. He just took it to another whole level.
SHAWN:
(chuckles) Yeah, he, uh, he seems to do that a lot.
HENRY:
I still can't believe that he got away with the gold. You got to think that someday all this stuff is gonna catch up with him, huh?
SHAWN:
Yeah. And that day might just be today. (drops gold coins onto the table)
HENRY:
(taken aback and whispers) Does Gus know about this?
SHAWN:
Oh, yeah. He's got the rest of it. Don't worry, we're donating it to the museum.
HENRY:
All of it?
SHAWN:
Ish.
HENRY stammers, unable to get out a coherent sentence.
SHAWN:
I saw Jack following us. I knew he was gonna show up in the car. I made the switch when we were running through the forest.
HENRY:
So, what does Jack have?
SHAWN smiles.
EXT. ROAD, DAY
JACK has pulled over to the side of the road. He chuckles as he opens the bag. However, instead of the coins, he dumps out rocks. He pushes the rocks around in the hopes of finding gold. The only shiny thing he finds is a penny.
JACK:
Well done, Shawnie. (chuckles) Well done. Well done.