If Wishes Were Fishes
Know what'd be the coolest thing? An episode of "The Young Ones," re-made, starring the members of Tool. I'd pay to see that. I wish I were friends with them. I'd ask them to do it. Aw, man, that'd be great.
Adam: You mean, you, like, scored with a chick?
Maynard: Well, of course, I wouldn't put it in such sexist terms, Adam, but yes.
Justin: Now, wait a minute, Maynard. I'm the one who gets the girls around here. There could be a copyright problem.
Danny: I don't understand. How? Was she unconscious?
Maynard: What, Danny? Do I detect a little spark of jealousy?
Danny: Ha! I'm not jealous. I find the idea of spending a night with you completely revolting!
Maynard: You know perfectly well what I mean. Just because I was the most wanted and attractive guy at the party last night...
Adam: What do you mean, Maynard? You passed out after half a glass of cider.
Maynard: Did I? Blimey, that's a bit anarchic! Anyway, it just goes to show you, Adam. Even when I'm unconscious, I can pick up the birds.
Danny: That's a friend of mine named Adam, that's a friend of mine named Justin, and that's a complete bastard I know named Maynard.
Maynard: He's just joking, Mrs. Carey, we're actually terrific friends.
Mrs. Carey: Ooh, he is a bastard, isn't he?
Justin: Adam, it's very rare that you interest me but today you have. Why do you keep coming down here with a cake and saying surprise?
Adam: It's my birthday.
Justin: Now you knew that anyway and we don't care, so where's the surprise?
Adam: Well, I baked a cake.
Justin: A cake. Can a cake dance? Can a cake get you drunk? Will a cake let you put your hand up its jumper?
Danny: You have to write in ten words what Cornflakes mean to you. So I wrote: Cornflakes. Cornflakes. Cornflakes, Cornflakes, Cornflakes. Cornflakes, Cornflakes, Cornflakes, Cornflakes.
Maynard: Pathetic. You'll never win, you know.
Danny: Why not?
Maynard: That's only nine words.
Danny: Oh yeah...[writing] Cornflakes.
Adam: You mean, you, like, scored with a chick?
Maynard: Well, of course, I wouldn't put it in such sexist terms, Adam, but yes.
Justin: Now, wait a minute, Maynard. I'm the one who gets the girls around here. There could be a copyright problem.
Danny: I don't understand. How? Was she unconscious?
Maynard: What, Danny? Do I detect a little spark of jealousy?
Danny: Ha! I'm not jealous. I find the idea of spending a night with you completely revolting!
Maynard: You know perfectly well what I mean. Just because I was the most wanted and attractive guy at the party last night...
Adam: What do you mean, Maynard? You passed out after half a glass of cider.
Maynard: Did I? Blimey, that's a bit anarchic! Anyway, it just goes to show you, Adam. Even when I'm unconscious, I can pick up the birds.
Danny: That's a friend of mine named Adam, that's a friend of mine named Justin, and that's a complete bastard I know named Maynard.
Maynard: He's just joking, Mrs. Carey, we're actually terrific friends.
Mrs. Carey: Ooh, he is a bastard, isn't he?
Justin: Adam, it's very rare that you interest me but today you have. Why do you keep coming down here with a cake and saying surprise?
Adam: It's my birthday.
Justin: Now you knew that anyway and we don't care, so where's the surprise?
Adam: Well, I baked a cake.
Justin: A cake. Can a cake dance? Can a cake get you drunk? Will a cake let you put your hand up its jumper?
Danny: You have to write in ten words what Cornflakes mean to you. So I wrote: Cornflakes. Cornflakes. Cornflakes, Cornflakes, Cornflakes. Cornflakes, Cornflakes, Cornflakes, Cornflakes.
Maynard: Pathetic. You'll never win, you know.
Danny: Why not?
Maynard: That's only nine words.
Danny: Oh yeah...[writing] Cornflakes.