My Grandma
My grandma passed away last night from cancer. She was in PI, where she wanted to be. She loves it there, no matter how hot it got and no matter how much she complained. I don't think that she'd want to be anywhere else.
I've had many people in my life leave me for one reason or another and I still don't know how to deal with loss. I'm struggling trying to figure out how to handle this myself. I don't even know how to help my mom through this. All I can think of is how I didn't know my grandma as well as I wanted. Why does it have to hurt so much to lose someone? I know that she's in a better place now and that she's not in pain from her cancer anymore.
She used to go for a walk everyday. You know those old Asian women that power-walked around the block in sweatpants and a matching sweatshirt - rain or shine. That was her. I'm pretty sure that she even had a matching umbrella for those rainy days. I'm sure that she's walking around the block somewhere up in heaven. She was always like that - active and upbeat. I can't picture her not being able to do that. She needed help getting out of bed. I suppose I'm kind of glad that I didn't get to see her that way because I really don't want to. That's not what she was like. She was stubborn. If she wasn't from PI you'd figure that she was from Texas. I guess that's why I love how stubborn Daniel's grandma is...because she reminds me of my mom's mom.
I wish I knew her more. I wish she would have lived here so I could listen to her stories like with my dad's mom and Daniel's grandma.
This really made me realize how much I miss being around family and the people I love and care about. It's stupid that I want to be around everyone, I think, because it's for selfish reasons. I just want to know that everyone else that I care about is here. I just want to give everyone a big bear hug and feel better. I want someone to tell me that it's all for the better because my grandma can go on her walks up in heaven without having to worry about the rain anymore.
Love,
Joy
I've had many people in my life leave me for one reason or another and I still don't know how to deal with loss. I'm struggling trying to figure out how to handle this myself. I don't even know how to help my mom through this. All I can think of is how I didn't know my grandma as well as I wanted. Why does it have to hurt so much to lose someone? I know that she's in a better place now and that she's not in pain from her cancer anymore.
She used to go for a walk everyday. You know those old Asian women that power-walked around the block in sweatpants and a matching sweatshirt - rain or shine. That was her. I'm pretty sure that she even had a matching umbrella for those rainy days. I'm sure that she's walking around the block somewhere up in heaven. She was always like that - active and upbeat. I can't picture her not being able to do that. She needed help getting out of bed. I suppose I'm kind of glad that I didn't get to see her that way because I really don't want to. That's not what she was like. She was stubborn. If she wasn't from PI you'd figure that she was from Texas. I guess that's why I love how stubborn Daniel's grandma is...because she reminds me of my mom's mom.
I wish I knew her more. I wish she would have lived here so I could listen to her stories like with my dad's mom and Daniel's grandma.
This really made me realize how much I miss being around family and the people I love and care about. It's stupid that I want to be around everyone, I think, because it's for selfish reasons. I just want to know that everyone else that I care about is here. I just want to give everyone a big bear hug and feel better. I want someone to tell me that it's all for the better because my grandma can go on her walks up in heaven without having to worry about the rain anymore.
Love,
Joy