Fic Commentary for Spoiled
gigantic requested commentary on "Spoiled," which was a Spencer/Patrick crossover. Original story here.
( So, DVD commentary, yes? Jesus, I talk a lot. )
( So, DVD commentary, yes? Jesus, I talk a lot. )
Comments 7
I reread the original story, started the commentary, and got to the part about asking Rae what strippers of the future would look like before I noticed this was yours. Wow, self. (I tend to open up all my flist tabs at once and then just go through randomly, so sometimes that happens. BUt it was still sort of funny as hell.)
Anyway, flight attendants! Watch out!
...for rats? *ducks*
Somewhere in between Massachusetts Avenue and Elm Street
I was SO CONFUSED for a moment, before I remembered that you live in Boston. *shakes head at self*
(I work on Massachusetts Ave, here, and I, like every other exBostonian, spent inordinate amounts of time stuck in traffic on Mass Ave there)
Can you tell the difference?
No, you did beautifully. I sort of adore your writing. It's possibly a touch unfortunate.
Also, hey, like how I slipped that in, there? Their shared kitchen?Yeah, that was the place where I went "Ohhhhh" and scrolled back up to check that we didn't already know that (I ( ... )
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It's such a powerful line, because I think most of us (okay, maybe just me) have felt that way, that rushing panicked bleak realization that you just... you have to keep going and you have no idea how. At all. You summed it up perfectly.
Hopefully, this worked for people.
It worked perfectly for me - Spencer's in this wildish, totally unhinged place that happens in these situations. And it's interesting because Spencer seems like he's generally a pretty controlled person, and so him spiralling out of control is sort of this helpless, slow-motion fishtail.
Spencer has no fucking idea what he's doing, this all feels unreal in a sharp-edged way.
I love this line. I love this line so so so so much. (I'm not sure I want to examine what that says about meOkay, this may be a truly stupid question, but... "puts paid to" means... proved wrong? Or proved right? I'm totally unfamiliar with that phrase ( ... )
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I love this idea:
I also love the way you can't see anything from Patrick's POV - you're as trapped in Spencer's head as SPENCER is trapped in Spencer's head
We'll pretend I meant to do that! as opposed to my utter inability to comprehend anything other than limited POVs.
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I totally believe that the reader-work relationship is more important than the authorial-work relationship, and even if you, as the writer, didn't conciously INTEND to include a detail, it just happened - that's still a valid, important, well-done bit of crafting. It was just inadvertant. Sometimes stories are smart than you, and know what they want/need when you don't.
Which possibly I'd've said in a less-crazy-sounding way if it were not two fifteen am and therefore past my bedtime.
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I was going to leave a comment at the original story, but then I saw you'd done a commentary and I couldn't resist posting here instead. I love commentary fic, seeing what the writer had in mind while crafting their story. Thank you for giving us this special glimpse into what you created.
I've got to tell you, the first run through of this story broke my heart. Simply, quietly, perfectly. I was optimistically hoping for a sequel or something showing Spencer not so broken, but that's just because I'm a squishy softy like that. :)
I was glad, in reading your commentary, to understand a little better why Brendon and Spencer broke up. I got that they were a couple, but it wasn't clear to me that Brendon had cheated. Even with the...
Stop thinking, Spencer thinks. He can't, though. The way Brendon had looked, shamefaced but angry, such a cliche when Spencer had walked through the door, and stop thinking.I didn't associate "shamefaced" with cheating. I figured ( ... )
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