Whole Wheat Toast and Gummy Bears - Bertha
Whole Wheat Toast and Gummy Bears
Pairing: Jaejoong/Fc/Yamapi/Jin
Length: Chaptered 01/??
Rating: PG 13
Summary:
A gay landlord,
a preggo hooker ish woman.
A cheating husband.
And YAMAPI.
You know, regular daily life.
Blah: Hello. This is my brand new fanfic featuring Jaejoong and OC.
It will a romantic comedy with bits of weepy drama. I usually don't write
romantic comedies, so, don't judge me too harshly.
Jaejoong is a normal guy seen as very odd. Well, he's fairly odd
but that's because he's too innocent and naive.
The whole story is going to be in his point of view 3rd person ish.
(Maybe in the characters POV. still not sure.) and I'm sorry
for not making hi into this hot sexy man that he is.
He's sexy but just too weird. You'll see.
I hope i get one or two readers out there.
MY FIRST CHAPPIE.
Gracias.
Ps: Yamapi and Akanishi Jin
have been officially added. **Pants Spazzism**
1
Bertha
"You're so pretty. "
Standing in awe I felt my face blush at such rare and splendid beauty. With her eyes and her pale complexion and an amazing, and yet disturbed, fashion sense I instantly wanted to take her home.
Though, she did look a bit rough in the edges.
I wanted to touch her hand and try to warm it up after all she did look sort of cold.
Maybe a kiss will do, maybe. I thought to myself.
I pouted my lips ready for this explicit and yet heartwarming event for me. With a smile on my face I face this sorcerer of my heart.
Here I go.
3 inches.
Here I go.
2 inches.
Here I….
"Sir, what do you think you're doing?" A man with a cop looking hat raised his eyebrows just to examine the situation.
"Can't you see? I was about to kiss her, silly fat man, but you interrupted me! Aish, you're an idiot!"
And that's how my new wooden mannequin ended up sitting with me at the bus stop.
I didn't really have a choice but to run as fast as I could and get out of the mall before the chunker of a cop arrested me.
It was his glare, I tell you, and it was "that" glare I've seen too many times. The glare that judges me and sinks me into this depression making me feel weird and idiotic. I just don't understand what's wrong with "borrowing" a mannequin and taking her someplace where she won't feel so used and demeaned.
I usually wouldn't have done such thing.
Well, I wouldn't have done it with people watching anyway.
As my good friend Shigure would say, "Que sera, sera."
"Excume me , sir?"
Sir? Me? What are these shenanigans!
I turned the other way just to ignore this creature with long silky hair talking to me.
But the smart duck that she is, she somehow made her way to the side I was facing.
"I'm talking you, sir."
I faced the other way.
"Please, don't ignore me."
Please, stop calling me sir.
"Please."
Well, she did say please. "What may I help you with?"
" I was wondering if you would want to grab some coffee with me."
"Are you mentally stable?" I really wanted to know.
Why is she hesitating? Maybe she is loca.
"I'm…I'm…."
I swear I don't know what's wrong with the youth nowadays. In my days young beautiful girls wouldn't throw themselves at some weirdo with a mannequin sitting next to him.
"Go home and think of what you've done wrong, you creature. "
" But I really…"
"You really wanted to grab coffee with me. Yes, yes I get it. But what if I was a serial killer? Or a pervert? Or a dog hater? Or worst of all a Korean that speaks no Korean whatsoever? How would we communicate? Can't you see the danger?"
She nodded.
"You're a beautiful mmmm…" she does look like a girl, "young woman. Your hair is very pretty. It's long and black; no chemicals have corrupted it whatsoever. You're not wearing makeup as my Cirque Du Soleil friend wears it and you're not dressed provocative enough to tempt me nor any pervert out there. Just be happy with what you have at this moment. Live your life decently and joyfully and someday you will find a guy asking you, and dying, to take you for a cup of coffee."
And then the river started flowing from her eyes and her nose. What do men do in this situation? Pat them on the back and wish them good luck on their lives? Kiss them goodbye as they leave her alone in the middle of the evil city?
I touched her nose.
"Now, now," I stand up and undress my mannequin and hand the snotty girl the shirt my new friend, Bertha, was wearing. "Take this. I see on TV that girls like shirts like this. Lee Hyori wears it."
She nods once again. What an awkward duckling she is.
" Thank you so very much, sir."
Please, stop calling me sir.
"Ok, now. Bye bye hey-sir youngster. "
And then I see her.
The one I was destined to save.
*******Yes, Jaejoong stole a mannequin but that doesn't mean he's weird.
maybe it's his fetish or something.
+_+