Not Currently Going Wild
I am a very lucky man. Why, you ask? Well, my life is very compatible with my career choice. Allow me to explain:
I knew at a very, very young age that I wanted to be a storyteller. Not so much a writer, but the guy in the group that has all the great stories. I am lucky in the fact that, for one, I am good at telling stories -- hence the career choice of comedic performance. But more importantly, my life grants me ample material. I have things happen to me on a day to day basis that most people can't fathom happening to them in an entire lifetime. Many of these tales, you can hear in my stand-up or in past blog entries. Today's story was a nice reminder of this:
I have recently started doing promotional work for Citadel Broadcasting here in Syracuse. Today we were out with a big truck and a trailer that is made to look like a massive boom box with the station's call letters on it. It's for events so the DJ's can sit inside to do remotes. It plays music and is basically a mobile studio with a massive PA system. Well, today we pulled off into a vacant parking lot in (almost) the middle of no where so we could work out some things. A short amount of time goes by; we're moving the trailer around, walking around in the sun and just enjoying a nice day outside when out of the corner of my eye I see something. On a dusty side street that leads toward the opening of this vacant parking lot, I see what appears to be the Girls Gone Wild Bus coming towards us. Then the bus turns into the same vacant parking lot where we are and parks right beside us. The door swings open and a young girl with a raspy, over-smoked voice says to us "Hey! Where's the party?"
Now, as stated before, strange shit happens to me all the time so I was able to keep a cool head and I calmly asked "Party? It's 2pm on a Tuesday."
Before my words could hit her ears, she jumped out of the bus with a camera girl behind her. She began climbing atop our giant boom box asking if we could "kick out some beats" so we kindly obliged and I began to realize that the answer to her question was now becoming "Here. I suppose the party is here now."
Right behind this vacant parking lot was an old warehouse with one truck parked near it. Once the music started, out wandered an old man to discover a massive tour bus parked beside a 12-foot-high blue boom box with girls dancing on it... at 2pm. On a Tuesday. He stood there in the doorway with a big grin on his face. This man's prayers had been answered. Oh, he'll tell his friends, but they'll never believe him.
As time went on, this began to get boring. One, lonely girl dancing atop a giant boom box while another lonely girl videotaped her and the only men for miles were myself, two co-workers and a currently erect 68-year-old warehouse foreman. So how can she raise the bar now? Ah yes -- she flashed her breasts. Perhaps as a special treat for anyone who happened to be driving past this vacant parking lot. At 2pm. On a Tuesday.
And almost as quickly as it began, it was over. The camera was put away. The girl dismounted out boom box. The old man went back to his forklift and they were off. We stood there for a minute and eventually got back in the truck and went on down the road ourselves.
We sat quietly in the truck -- words escaped us now, but I noticed something odd. You know how when people get abducted by aliens, they claim that their watches stop working? When I looked down, I noticed that my watch stopped working at 2:00pm exactly.
Oh, and it also had VD.
- thisisjoshua.com
I knew at a very, very young age that I wanted to be a storyteller. Not so much a writer, but the guy in the group that has all the great stories. I am lucky in the fact that, for one, I am good at telling stories -- hence the career choice of comedic performance. But more importantly, my life grants me ample material. I have things happen to me on a day to day basis that most people can't fathom happening to them in an entire lifetime. Many of these tales, you can hear in my stand-up or in past blog entries. Today's story was a nice reminder of this:
I have recently started doing promotional work for Citadel Broadcasting here in Syracuse. Today we were out with a big truck and a trailer that is made to look like a massive boom box with the station's call letters on it. It's for events so the DJ's can sit inside to do remotes. It plays music and is basically a mobile studio with a massive PA system. Well, today we pulled off into a vacant parking lot in (almost) the middle of no where so we could work out some things. A short amount of time goes by; we're moving the trailer around, walking around in the sun and just enjoying a nice day outside when out of the corner of my eye I see something. On a dusty side street that leads toward the opening of this vacant parking lot, I see what appears to be the Girls Gone Wild Bus coming towards us. Then the bus turns into the same vacant parking lot where we are and parks right beside us. The door swings open and a young girl with a raspy, over-smoked voice says to us "Hey! Where's the party?"
Now, as stated before, strange shit happens to me all the time so I was able to keep a cool head and I calmly asked "Party? It's 2pm on a Tuesday."
Before my words could hit her ears, she jumped out of the bus with a camera girl behind her. She began climbing atop our giant boom box asking if we could "kick out some beats" so we kindly obliged and I began to realize that the answer to her question was now becoming "Here. I suppose the party is here now."
Right behind this vacant parking lot was an old warehouse with one truck parked near it. Once the music started, out wandered an old man to discover a massive tour bus parked beside a 12-foot-high blue boom box with girls dancing on it... at 2pm. On a Tuesday. He stood there in the doorway with a big grin on his face. This man's prayers had been answered. Oh, he'll tell his friends, but they'll never believe him.
As time went on, this began to get boring. One, lonely girl dancing atop a giant boom box while another lonely girl videotaped her and the only men for miles were myself, two co-workers and a currently erect 68-year-old warehouse foreman. So how can she raise the bar now? Ah yes -- she flashed her breasts. Perhaps as a special treat for anyone who happened to be driving past this vacant parking lot. At 2pm. On a Tuesday.
And almost as quickly as it began, it was over. The camera was put away. The girl dismounted out boom box. The old man went back to his forklift and they were off. We stood there for a minute and eventually got back in the truck and went on down the road ourselves.
We sat quietly in the truck -- words escaped us now, but I noticed something odd. You know how when people get abducted by aliens, they claim that their watches stop working? When I looked down, I noticed that my watch stopped working at 2:00pm exactly.
Oh, and it also had VD.
- thisisjoshua.com