So I'm listening to Yellowcard....

[joshs_only_fan]

I just read over a blog I wrote a long time ago. I was a distressed youth back in my day. Many people cried and what-not at graduation. I remember it being a fulfilling experience. After that moment I didn't think I was going to have to look back to all those disarming emotions and random expanses of things that I wasn't expecting, intending, or even often wanting. I hated high school with a furious passion I just now was able to realize. All those failed crushes, all those long days of trying to be something I'm not, playing hacky sack with an outcast crowd, being looked down upon as unpopular, failing in true potential, and obviously being a lie in my in laiden intellect. I don't compare to life in the real world because my developmental years were a joke buried in the walls of a building I despised. I had a girlfriend I could only connect with through sex and a whole esteem built around her. I was known as her love as well as the guy who broke her heart at the same time. I only took away a daughter I'm not enough for and an eternal binding to a person I can't stand. True I got friendships, but most of which came out of a middle school where I lost my integrity.... I had to grow over a summer between what should have been decent educational intitution and what is a level of higher education. Yet instead I spent my entire summer, a time in which I should have been celebrating my liberation, working a 3rd shift job doing stock 40 hours a week for 6.75 an hour. What a ridiculous affair my entire high school existence was. I loathe the fact that I even had to exist through all that. The saddest thing is that I didn't even gain anything by forging through all that hardship. I didn't become a stronger person in any way. I just grew in my timidity and doubt of selfworth. Now reflecting on it, I'm ever the more happy that it's over. Thank you Yellowcard... Lets just bring back the horrible memories...

J-Leazzy