(no subject)
That's not all. My astrological sign reading, which someone puts on the web for advertising money, says that I am prone to jealousy and insecurity. No one should trust everything he reads, but I must believe in something. As such, I've become increasingly aware of these two traits as the years have gone by. Somehow the former has been surfacing lately. I've been regretting my path, which I always advise friends never to do. I've been thinking back to high school, and, as I've gotten further and further from those times, I look back and realize how I did things for no reason, or for no good reason. Pot was a big part of my life. It never really seemed like that big of a problem, but, looking back, I know it was. My grade point average stayed within acceptable limits and after a few years I got accepted to college and even got offered a partial scholarship. All my major indicators told me I was just fine. And I must acknowledge the fun I had. Drugs never made friends for me, but their acquisition and their effects gave my friends and I a reason to spend hours carrying on or wandering around together. Who knows if it would've been different if we hadn't done those things, but I'm hesitant to wish for time travel because I would never give those friendships up. But I know I could've used all that time to learn school things. I wish I had, too, to an extent. Maybe I would've found direction earlier, maybe I would've excelled and gained skills that can help me now. THere's no time to waste with these thoughts, but I must loose them at some point, to make my peace, to move on. Because now I'm seeing the situation. I'm seeing the things I know, what I need to learn, and to achieve. I'm seeing that I may be a little behind, or that I've taken turns I wish I hadn't. So that's all. A look back, a recognition, and being stronger for it. I don't want validation. I want to know your story. Tell me a place you've been.